Optimistic

This morning, I informed a Senior Contract Manager to go to a function next Friday on behalf of my boss, who will be leaving for Vietnam on the same day.

Him: Me again? Sien lah. Some more.. aiyoh.. no lucky draw kah? Wasting my time.

Me: How do you know there will be no lucky draw?

Him: The invitation card has no numbers on it. I know lah.

Me: You might get a number when you register your name on that day. Who knows? You just need to be more optimistic!

He smiled.

I can’t believe this. The cynical me has turned optimistic.

Riding With the Boys

Goodies!

Interesting stuffs when you go on a road trip (Tanjung Sepat – Morib – Klang) with 3 boisterous boys:-

1. Exposed to danger of sun burn – due to too much of no. 2
2. Cam whoring – they LURVEEEEE taking pics of themselves. I have never seen guys; being so in love with their own images before (except Chris, the body builder)
3. Coconut and palm tree joke – I swear it was a coconut tree.
4. Confidence shattered for not being able to tell the difference between an undernourished palm tree and a real palm tree.
5. Stomachache from too much laughter – a bit of too much food, too much sun, too much MSG caused disorientation of the minds and you tend to say the darnest things
6. The Pao incident – somebody being flirtatious when he tried to get his hands on some paos from a 10 year old girl. And I thought, Takeshi is the only one interested in underaged girls.
7. SPM certificate – Yuin forgot to collect his certificate from his school, when he left SPM 5 years ago. It made the rest of us feel so darn old. We couldn’t even remember when we took SPM.
8. A man can surely multi task – while talking on the phone, he could still managed to scratch his crotch.
9. They like banging, licking and fingering (as in eating crabs).
10. It’s official – girls can eat more than boys (observation from the numerous fei chai trips I had been).

Full stories (and pics of food!) of the trip on AJ’s blog:-

Part 1 – The Place
Part 2 – Funnies
Part 3 – The Food
Part 4 – What nots

Wet Dream

I had a “wet” dream last night. There was hordes and hordes of men. To be exact, Korean men.

I was looking at some pictures taken by a friend. The pictures were awesome. The scenery was spellbinding. I was particularly interested in one photo of Korean men in white loin cloth, catching red herrings with their bare hands. They ushered the fishes into a corner and then, grabbed them and threw them on land. I could see many, many red fishes flipping on the coarse sandy beach.

I was so immersed by the picture and slowly, I was standing there – live and watching the men catching the feisty red herring.

Not long, I was transported back to reality and flipping at the pictures again. I saw a jelly fish-like creature, with colors of the tail of a peacock fish, swimming gracefully in the sea. In another picture, a man’s head emerged from a tiny opening of the jellyfish-like creature, which looked like a mouth. I was horrified.

The man’s face was hostile and looked ready to bite.

I was transported back again – swimming in the sea with the colorful jellyfish-like merman and saw its human face emerging from the tiny hole.

I didn’t know what to do but was struck by awe. Then, out of a sudden, one of the Korean men in white loin cloth was swimming side by side with the creature and they were having conversation like long lost friends. I followed them closely from behind.

They slowly swam deeper into the colorful bed of reef. I suddenly realized that I could not breathe in water. I waddled in the water frantically. I woke up.

It was indeed a very surreal and colorful dream – the sea water was cold, the coarse sand on the beach was prickly to feet, the redness of the herring is blinding, all the men in white loin cloth were very well built, and one image I could not forget is the colorful peacock fish-tail jellyfish- like creature with a human head.

I didn’t do much last night to contribute to this dream. I watched the last 10 minutes of Invasion and an entire episode of Las Vegas, followed by re-run of Project Runway. I remembered the jellyfish-like merman slightly resembled the girl’s colorful dress in the Hotlink Advertisement though.

I tried to use my artistic skills to good use this morning, but I couldn’t get the picture of the merman quite right. Oh- forget about it.

I googled for the interpretation.

The mermaid symbolises the Anima- the female aspect of the male psyche. As part woman, part fish, she embodies the mystery that haunts the male psyche. She is the bringer of secret wisdom from the depths of the unconscious-represented by the sea. She is also the seductive siren who may lure the active male energies of the conscious mind into the uncharted depths of the unconscious. A man who dreams of a mermaid may have fears of being ‘drowned’ by the feminine or by the unconscious. In a woman’s dream, a mermaid might express doubts about her femininity. In some dreams, a mermaid can represent a fear of sex.

Fish can represent insights into the unconscious. (The unconscious is represented by the sea). Jung said that fish are often symbols used by the dream to describe psychic happenings or experiences that suddenly dart out of the unconscious and have a frightening or redeeming effect. Fish caught in a net and brought to the surface may represent insights emerging into the light of consciousness. Fish are also a common symbol of fertility. Your dream may be indicating that you are experiencing a period of personal growth. Fish are a product of the emotions and intuition as opposed to the materialistic earthbound approach to life.

RED: Red represents passion and sexuality. It can also represent anger or blood- the colour of our life force.
ORANGE: Orange is usually associated with balance and healing. It is the passions refined.
YELLOW: Often associated with artistic inspiration yellow is sometimes considered the colour of the coward.
GREEN: The colour of nature brings new life and hope. Its negative association is with jealousy
BLUE: Blue is the spiritual colour and is claimed to be the colour that healers have in their auric field. Blue brings harmony and, like the sky, it implies freedom. And of course, it can sometimes represent depression when we get the ‘blues’.
PURPLE: This is the colour or Royalty and profound spiritual knowledge.

Huh? Again, Sigmund Freud is right? All dreams have something to do with sex? Even if it is not a real wet dream?

How to say NO

I have a friend who can never say no to anyone. Being nice and gullible, she would try to accommodate other people’s wishes which sometimes causing self inflicted agony.

I am glad that I am not the kind that can be easily taken for a ride. If you try to make use of me, be careful – if you mess with the best, you die like the rest.

I gave her some examples on how to say no.

When I was still in college, there was this weirdo classmate. She kept on calling people asking for notes. Being a senior myself, I was also in her “to call” list. She tried calling me on numerous occasions but could not get hold of me. She never heard of the mobile phone. She kept calling my house, even when my mom specifically gave her my mobile number.

One weekend morning at 7 am, she called my house. Everyone was still in their slumber. My dad whose room was downstairs, answered the phone. I was surprised that he didn’t get upset like he usually does.

How to Say NO #1

Me: HELLO????? *Pissed off

Nutcase: Eh! Hi, this is Nutcase.

Me: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME AT 7 AM????

Nutcase: I tried to call you but you are always not at home.

Me: I HAVE A F*CKING HANDPHONE! CALL HANDPHONE LAH!

Nutcase: Ah.. I want to ask you hor, do you have notes for PA ah?

Me: ……. *fuming*

Nutcase: Hello?

Me: EVEN IF I DO HAVE THE F*CKING NOTES, I WILL NOT F*CKING GIVE YOU!! YOU CAN GO F*CK YOURSELF!

*Clack*

I hung up on her. Ok. I did say everything as stated but without all the F word.

How to Say NO #2

A friend whom I don’t even like, called me after 9 years of absence to ask me to go to her wedding.

Nutcase #2: Hi! How are you?

Me: Who are you? *I was driving and on hands free*

Nutcase #2: I was your housemate and classmate, KZ (whom you don’t even like!)

Me: Oh okay. What do you want? (Nia seng)

Nutcase #2: OH.. I was wondering if you are still keeping in touch with our classmates from Science 4?

Me: Yeah. Some of them. (I don’t like the sound of this conversation. She is going to invite me for her wedding or some business “proposals”).

Nutcase #2: Oh! Can I have their numbers and addresses? You know – YS, Jasmine, Karamjit… and… Danny .. and who is that already ah? Danny’s cousin? And.. that guy who drives Pajero .. what is his name already? The short and fat one?…….

Me: *Rolling my eyes with disgust* YS is in Perth, I don’t have Jasmine’s or Karamjit’s latest number – I thought you were classmate with them for another 3 years in Computer Science? Danny is in Perth also, Jason – Danny’s cousin, I never kept in touch with him and the short and fat guy who drives a pajero is HK.

Nutcase #2: Can I have their e-mail addresses?

Me: I will have to check first. Your wedding is it?

Nutcase #2: Ah.. you so smart ah you… so can you come? It’s on 12 December.

Me: Oh, congratulations. But, sorry. I already have another wedding invitation. Please DO NOT send me your invitation. I will NOT COME. (GO F*CK YOURSELF).

I didn’t e-mail any addresses to her as my friends told me not to.

How to Say NO #3

I am working in this big organization with about thousands of colleagues. Almost every other week – someone’s family member will kick the bucket, give birth, getting married or having a birthday party.

What I don’t understand is – even if you don’t know the person well, they will still send you invitation card to their weddings and expect to see you there.

I don’t give a shit.

If they call me selfish or a miser – whatever. I don’t care.

I have to draw a line here before I declare self bankruptcy. Since I started to work, there have been many donation collections for colleagues – one thing which I don’t even understand is, even if their in-laws or even worse – their uncles and aunties passed away, they have the cheek to ask for donations. Not only the nearest of kin.

Worse still, when I was holidaying in Kota Kinabalu, my sister (who is also a colleague) called me up to ask me if I would like to chip in RM50 to help a colleague’s wife who is admitted to hospital for urgent operation. Firstly, the colleague doesn’t even bother to smile at me when I smile at him. Secondly, I am not in the office –you can pretend I didn’t know about this. Thirdly, people who do not take the initiative to get their asses covered with health insurance do not deserve any help. (Not that they cannot afford it)

See- as easy as that. First of all, when you don’t even like the person you are dealing with, it is easier to say no. I guess there is no point trying to be nice here and hoping that maybe in the future, you might need their help. Oh well, on second thought, I did ask my friend to check out her nutcase’s blood type, just in case she might need her bone marrow in the future. But, we are talking about the odds here.

If you don’t even at least like that person, you are not obliged to do him/her any favors. As simple as that. No point being nice, and get trampled all over in the end.

I'm Loving It

Wicked Pitches in Action

Well, I am now in a pretty lazy mood.

Instead of writing a review, I would paste here what I wrote to Alex, when he asked me for feedback of the performance. Only two words: Sterlingly awesome.

—–Original Message—–
From: Me
Sent: Monday, November 20, 2006 4:47 PM
To: Alex
Subject: RE: WP

Dear Alex,

First of all, being a jakun, I didn’t even know what an Acapella is…hahhaha. At first, when you guys were humming, I thought it was the radio. Ahahahahahah. But see see.. wah.. really lah.. use voices only. Damn keng. JK said, like cinema – got THX effect.

So you are asking for opinion from a person who has no prior experience listening to an Acapella. Well, I did go for Pluck, but that was 2 years ago. (They were accompanied by instruments – so, it’s not an acapella)

Q1. Which show attended?
A1: Only been to Pluck. Never been to any Wicked Pitches show before. But will go in the future. And I watched Phantom of the Opera in the cinema and have Andrew Loyd Webber’s soundtrack – I love it. (Actually to answer this question more simply – I attended the Sunday Matinee show. I always have complicated answer for simple questions. Women!)

Q2: Which song(s) did you like?
A2: The combination of Lion sleeps tonight, Can you feel the love tonight and Hijau. The tune is still playing in my mind all morning.. and all day now. The Chinese song – I don’t understand one bit, but I shed a tear when I listened. The “wa wa wa” part is quite funny though. I swear saw Zalina giggling away when Bryan did the wa wa wa. Probably if you guys do “do do do” – it’s not that weird. And You Raised Me Up by Josh Groban. Please tell JP Thong – he is sooooooo gorgeous. *Nose bleed*

Q3: Which song(s) didn’t you like?
A3: Summer ’69 – Bryan Adams – I feel the “dang dang dang” imitating the electric guitar quite annoying.

Q4: What aspects of the show could be improved upon?
A4: Put more leng chais in the show.. err… not that you are not leng chai lah. I said put more leng chai (so you also leng chai lor). The person who intro the next song – some of them quite kayu. The ladies could use better support bras (Hahahahah! Sorry… Can’t help noticing it).

Q5:Any other comments?
A5: Do earlier publicity to get the crowd. Wicked Pitches deserved more credit than this.

All in all, I love it. In fact, I think the show is too short. When it’s finished, I was like – ah? Finish liao ah? So fast one? Maybe it’s too good.