I have a friend who can never say no to anyone. Being nice and gullible, she would try to accommodate other people’s wishes which sometimes causing self inflicted agony.
I am glad that I am not the kind that can be easily taken for a ride. If you try to make use of me, be careful – if you mess with the best, you die like the rest.
I gave her some examples on how to say no.
When I was still in college, there was this weirdo classmate. She kept on calling people asking for notes. Being a senior myself, I was also in her “to call” list. She tried calling me on numerous occasions but could not get hold of me. She never heard of the mobile phone. She kept calling my house, even when my mom specifically gave her my mobile number.
One weekend morning at 7 am, she called my house. Everyone was still in their slumber. My dad whose room was downstairs, answered the phone. I was surprised that he didn’t get upset like he usually does.
How to Say NO #1
Me: HELLO????? *Pissed off
Nutcase: Eh! Hi, this is Nutcase.
Me: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? ARE YOU CRAZY? WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME AT 7 AM????
Nutcase: I tried to call you but you are always not at home.
Me: I HAVE A F*CKING HANDPHONE! CALL HANDPHONE LAH!
Nutcase: Ah.. I want to ask you hor, do you have notes for PA ah?
Me: ……. *fuming*
Me: EVEN IF I DO HAVE THE F*CKING NOTES, I WILL NOT F*CKING GIVE YOU!! YOU CAN GO F*CK YOURSELF!
I hung up on her. Ok. I did say everything as stated but without all the F word.
How to Say NO #2
A friend whom I don’t even like, called me after 9 years of absence to ask me to go to her wedding.
Nutcase #2: Hi! How are you?
Me: Who are you? *I was driving and on hands free*
Nutcase #2: I was your housemate and classmate, KZ (whom you don’t even like!)
Me: Oh okay. What do you want? (Nia seng)
Nutcase #2: OH.. I was wondering if you are still keeping in touch with our classmates from Science 4?
Me: Yeah. Some of them. (I don’t like the sound of this conversation. She is going to invite me for her wedding or some business “proposals”).
Nutcase #2: Oh! Can I have their numbers and addresses? You know – YS, Jasmine, Karamjit… and… Danny .. and who is that already ah? Danny’s cousin? And.. that guy who drives Pajero .. what is his name already? The short and fat one?…….
Me: *Rolling my eyes with disgust* YS is in Perth, I don’t have Jasmine’s or Karamjit’s latest number – I thought you were classmate with them for another 3 years in Computer Science? Danny is in Perth also, Jason – Danny’s cousin, I never kept in touch with him and the short and fat guy who drives a pajero is HK.
Nutcase #2: Can I have their e-mail addresses?
Me: I will have to check first. Your wedding is it?
Nutcase #2: Ah.. you so smart ah you… so can you come? It’s on 12 December.
Me: Oh, congratulations. But, sorry. I already have another wedding invitation. Please DO NOT send me your invitation. I will NOT COME. (GO F*CK YOURSELF).
I didn’t e-mail any addresses to her as my friends told me not to.
How to Say NO #3
I am working in this big organization with about thousands of colleagues. Almost every other week – someone’s family member will kick the bucket, give birth, getting married or having a birthday party.
What I don’t understand is – even if you don’t know the person well, they will still send you invitation card to their weddings and expect to see you there.
I don’t give a shit.
If they call me selfish or a miser – whatever. I don’t care.
I have to draw a line here before I declare self bankruptcy. Since I started to work, there have been many donation collections for colleagues – one thing which I don’t even understand is, even if their in-laws or even worse – their uncles and aunties passed away, they have the cheek to ask for donations. Not only the nearest of kin.
Worse still, when I was holidaying in Kota Kinabalu, my sister (who is also a colleague) called me up to ask me if I would like to chip in RM50 to help a colleague’s wife who is admitted to hospital for urgent operation. Firstly, the colleague doesn’t even bother to smile at me when I smile at him. Secondly, I am not in the office –you can pretend I didn’t know about this. Thirdly, people who do not take the initiative to get their asses covered with health insurance do not deserve any help. (Not that they cannot afford it)
See- as easy as that. First of all, when you don’t even like the person you are dealing with, it is easier to say no. I guess there is no point trying to be nice here and hoping that maybe in the future, you might need their help. Oh well, on second thought, I did ask my friend to check out her nutcase’s blood type, just in case she might need her bone marrow in the future. But, we are talking about the odds here.
If you don’t even at least like that person, you are not obliged to do him/her any favors. As simple as that. No point being nice, and get trampled all over in the end.