Toilet Stories

I simply cannot understand. In our “civilized” country, there are still people who do not know how to properly use the toilet.

The other day, I was watching the Guardian (Ashton Kuscher is so darn cute!!) at Cathay Cineleisure and not knowing that the show lasted more than 2.5 hours, I held my pee till my bladder hurt. I rushed to the toilet immediately right after the movie and was agitated that the freaking toilet is situated so damn far away from the cinema. It was a lucky thing that I managed to hold my bladder till I reached the loo.

Thank goodness the washroom was pretty empty and I ran into the nearest cubicle. There – I saw a yellowish turd right in the middle of the floor, and not in the clean and pristine toilet bowl. First of all, it must be an idiot who poo-ed on the floor when there is a toilet bowl for that purpose? Secondly, this is Cathay Cineleisure, Petaling Jaya, not some kampung place where you could pile some ashes on the turd to make it disintegrate.

Well, never mind the turd incident.

I have other toilet stories to share.

Toilet Story #1

I had a colleague once a few years ago who do not have proper hygiene ethics. We knew whenever she went to the toilet as she would leave some of her waste behind. No, not turd or something bloodied. Thank goodness that she still flushes after using.

She has this habit of scratching her dandruff infested hair vigorously on the sink. She would scratch and scratch as if she were washing her hair on the basin and then, as expected, all the dandruff flakes would fall into the basin along with her long hair. And she would leave them there as they were.

She would redo her eye brows using eye liner till the shapes are similar to the famous Golden Arch of McDonald’s. Hence, her nickname is McDonald’s.

Toilet Story #2

I went to a toilet in Isetan. Because I was holding my bladder for too long, I didn’t even notice that the toilet lid was down. I took off my panties hastily, sat on the toilet lid and almost peed on the toilet lid instead of the bowl.

Toilet Story #3

When I was in form 2, I went to the ladies. Spotting a very short hair and tall for my age, the ladies in the toilet looked horrified as they saw me entering the toilet. Before they screamed their heads off, I managed to tell them, I am a girl.

Toilet Story #4

There were some perverts sneaking into the ladies’ toilet, so the management decided to lock the toilet door and gave each team a key.

One morning, the moment I arrived at the office, I couldn’t wait to go into the office to get hold of the key. So I entered the men’s toilet to relieve myself. Yeah. I have been to the men’s toilet before.

Toilet Story #5

Never ever eat petai on working days. Need I say more?

Toilet Story #6

I went to the loo one late evening after compiling heaps of reports. I noticed that the toilet that I always used was occupied. There was somebody in white closing the door, the moment I walked into the loo. I went to the middle one instead.

Expecting to hear some noises, I was a bit confused when there was none at all. I quickly finished my business and came out of the toilet to find that, the toilet was not occupied at all. Come to think of it, everyone in the office wear yellow uniform. Only the tea lady wore white. And she had left for the day.

Toilet Story #7

My sister and her classmate went to the toilet in school. Everyone knows the public school toilets are more terrifying compared to public toilets. There was only one toilet which is clean and able to function. Everyone always uses that particular toilet.

As they entered the toilet, they saw a girl in white tudung entering the functional toilet. They waited outside the door patiently till almost 10 minutes was up. As they were also holding their pee, they were angry and started to call the person in the toilet. No answer.

My sis was furious that she knocked the toilet’s door. It opened wide. There was no one inside.

Chills were felt down their spines and hairs stood on all ends, that very moment. They ran out from the toilet without peeing.