Shae: eh i ask u
Shae: how do u spell the name winnie
Me: winnie lor
Shae:i just discovered this name 2 days back n now only got time to ask u
Me: dont tell me some jinjang woman spell winny
Me: or weenie
Me: coz weenie means DICK
Shae: nope, hahahhah
Shae: thank god
Shae: check this spelling
Shae: my printer’s staff
Shae: how bout tt
Me: no wonder she is so screwed up
Me: before you tell me
Me: i already have feelings its her
Me: if name also dunno how to spell
Me: dont expect her to even know how to spell normal words lah
I really cannot stand people who decide to spell their names as if they are aliens from outerspace.
Vinniey?? Kaniniah lah!
I bet she is some jinjang woman (no offence to people who live in Jinjang but come on…). I bet my ass that anyone who would send her a fax or e-mail or a formal letter would use common sense and address her as Winnie.
Wah.. I really beh tahan these kind of names.
I guess it was caused by the bad influences from Taiwan/ Hong Kong pop artistes. Fish? Fruit? For instance, Vanness from the group F4 – those long hair pussy boys who squeal rather than sing. What kind of name is Vanness? Sounds like Vain Ass to me. He’s damn vain alright. Flicking and always touching his long hair in videos and while singing. Gawd. I am gonna puke.
I know some of you must be thinking, what is wrong with me, going against people with such fucked up names. There – I’ve said it. Fucked up.
Every month, there will be new recruitment of staff. The new colleagues would be brought around the office to introduce themselves. Most of the names I couldn’t really remember – there are about 8,000 people in this organization – and one girl ensure that I won’t forget her name.
Firstly she was introduced as Lai Mun. It’s the same name as another staff in one of our site offices. So I asked, if I could call her surname instead to avoid mistaken identity.
She told me – “No lah. Call surname very formal leh. You can call me Lemon!”
Well, she looks like a lemon to begin with – all rounded and quite sour to look at. I suppressed my snigger and almost choked on my own saliva. I have a bad feeling there would be Apples and Oranges in the future.
I remembered a fellow colleague in a market research firm. Her name is Xanadu. Yeah. That song. She has problems pronouncing her own name. Imagine working in a market research firm, introducing herself on the phone:-
Ms X: Hi. My name is XANADU
Ms X: XA-NA-DU
Interviewee: SAINT ANU?
Ms X: ZA-NAAA-DOOOO!!!
Interviewee: Whatever lah. What you want?
Ms X: Oh I am calling from this market research…
Interviewee: …clack clack…. dooot…. doottt…. dooott…
Ms X: hello? hello?
… and she wondered why she couldn’t get her job done.
There is another colleague with the name Chloe. I know. It’s a proper name for a person but it would be making an ass out of yourself if you don’t even know how to pronounce it, right? She introduced herself as “Kok Eee”. I thought it was her Chinese name till she wrote it down.
Me: Aiyoh! It’s CLO-EE lah. NOT KOK EEE. KOK EEE your head!!
Kok Eee: It’s KOK EEE lah. People said it’s KOK EEE.
Me: Ok lah, Suit yourself. COCK EEE. (Suck my dick la)
Over dinner the other night, a friend told me names of some people she met at work – Clayrise (thank gawd her sister is not called Claypot), Kirstecn (as if the “C” would make the name sexier) and Lelis (In no relation to the two).
What is wrong with these people?