Ulterior Motives

I don’t like people with ulterior motives.

A school friend called me after 5 years of silence since we completed SPM. The first thing that hit my mind was, he might be getting married. But marrying at age 23 would be a bit too early – we have yet to complete college or university at that time.

He called me numerous times at my house, then my parents gave him my mobile phone since I was NEVER at home – due to college, part time job and also demanding social life. Heh! Handphones were expensive then.

He called me when I was in Malacca.

Me: Hello?

Him: Hey, it’s me! How are you?

Me: Oh.. I am okay… Wait a minute. Cut the crap please. What do you want?

Him: Wah.. as frank as ever ah!

Me: Well, you know me. After so many years you never bother to call or go out to have teh tarik with us at mamak, what makes you call me after 5 years? Are you in some insurance business? Direct selling or are you getting married? Or all of the above?

Him: Hahahah!! You are unbelievable lah!! Ok.. I just want to know whether you are interested in this business proposal…

Me: Is it Amway?

Him: How you know ah??

Me: Well, my dad is in Amway. And when you mention business proposal only, I know it’s Amway. Don’t waste your breath. BYEEEEEEEEEE.

*Clack*

I would have reacted differently if he had been a genuine friend for the last five years and not to call me only when he wanted something.

A few months ago, another friend came back from abroad and wanted to meet up. I was elated that she called. We set a meeting immediately but, it was at awkward hours. She asked if I could pick her up from the bus station at 6 am on a Sunday morning, since she would be away for an island retreat and needed someone to pick her up upon her return. I obliged as I have not seen her in more than a year.
We chatted a bit over dim sum breakfast and chatted till 10 am before I sent her off to the train station to get to her brother’s place to collect her luggage. Knowing that she is totally ignorant about how the road systems work, I would not want to take chances of getting lost at nowhere and waste time and petrol unnecessarily.

Then, we decided to meet the second time after her numerous engagements before she goes back to Australia. I suggested that we meet one Sunday morning since I would be free. I suggested having another round of dim sum before she flies. She said she would think about it.

The unbelievable happened. She called to ask if after having our dim sum, is it alright for me to fetch her to KLIA to collect her parcels. I was dumb founded by her request. Don’t get me wrong. I am okay to help people if asked. It also depends on how good the relationship between me and the person concerned.

For me, this request is a little off my league as I myself do not even send my own family members to the airport. Usually, they would either get their own cab or sometimes, they would take train or bus to Sentral and I would pick them up from Sentral instead of asking me to drive all the way to the airport. I stay in Selayang, for God’s sake – nowhere near to the bloody airport. And it’s not about a matter of petrol or toll – since she insisted she would pay for it. I don’t send or fetch people from airport. Period.

It was a good thing that I didn’t lose it like I used to. Instead of giving her a piece of my mind, Father’s Day saved the day. I decided to cancel dim sum as it was Father’s Day. At least I don’t have to have dim sum with her and then, pretend I do not feel bad for refusing to fetch her to the airport. Putting myself in her shoes, I believe there are other ways of getting the parcels back instead of driving all the way to the airport. I am sure they have something called the “courier service”. Just pay a little more to get things delivered right to your doorstep!

Then, there was this friend who said, he welcomed me to his clique for travels as I take good shit pictures. Meaning, if I don’t take good shit pictures, I don’t deserve to travel with them? Come on. How about my infectious personality? Or people feeling at ease whenever they are with me? I have better companions to travel with rather than traveling with people who wanted me just because they wanted good shit pictures.

Sometimes I really do not understand why some friends do not have the slightest idea that they hurt you with the things they say or do.

This is the part I hated most. Some friends befriend me because they know they could meet people from my social circle. Well, I can’t blame them. After all, it is human instinct to survive and propagate.

However, I wish they could be more discreet. I simply couldn’t understand why some friends cannot meet the opposite sex without having ulterior motives. To me, be it a trip, lunch, dinner or movie, I always think this is  a way to making new friends or forming new friendship bonds. That is how a social circle is created.

Some friends reacted otherwise. Some felt that they should wear wedding gowns immediately when I told them they were about to meet some boys. And they wonder why they do not have luck with men. And now I know why I prefer gays as friends.

I have stopped doing this mix and match game a long time ago so, please. If you want a girlfriend or a boyfriend, please find your own. If I could solve your problem being a singleton, I would have solved mine many years ago.

11 Responses to “Ulterior Motives”

  1. Monster Says:

    I will raise hands, legs and agreed with you. If they think you are their ‘supplier’, you might as well start this mix & match business and charge them commission.

  2. colourmecrazy Says:

    Man, you have to tell these “non-friends” to sod off! Or join Meetic…or RSVP…or some other online dating thing!

  3. yuin Says:

    if you prefer gay guys as friends do i have to start acting gay?

  4. stevo Says:

    The rumors are circulating that you have hot girlfriends don’t help hahaha….

  5. blue devil Says:

    Hot message in a HOT day! Super hot!!

    I couldn’t agree with you more. For those people that take others for granted or ‘substitutes’, I ask them to fly kite!

    No face will be given, no bad feeling. And that, could be the last time they see me. Mo Kai Keng!

    It’s time to behave a little devilish, don’t let these idiots take advantage over your kindness. Let them kiss their own sorry asses.

  6. anigma Says:

    Monster: Wah.. raise leg some more.. very serious. Haha. Charging commission sounds cool…

    colormecrazy: Eh? Good also ah. I can check out the dating websites myself. LOL.

    Yuin: No lah. You are gay enough even without trying. Hahahha.

    Stevo: Your bro is an ass. Hahhaha. At this age, most hot girlfriends were already married. Sorry.

    bluedevil: These people already getting cold shoulder from me. Yeap! Mou kai keng! Yak ki ki!

  7. colourmecrazy Says:

    Hehe – you should watch out for those dating sites. I know some people who met then got married. Are you on the hunt for a husband?
    On the other hand, I also know some people who got stalked by weirdos from those sites!

  8. Jayelle Says:

    lol womaann.. you’re always such a damn good read.

    my bad for not dropping by as often as i should..:(

    But i fcking hate friends who call u up out of the blue and then act all buddy when they didn’t even give you the time of the day back in school and stuff…
    grgrgrrr

    thick face nye your kawans:(

  9. Kat Says:

    haha.. i do hope i don’t annoy you too much :P
    I’m coming back end of the year.. though won’t be in KL for long… decided to spend the most of my holiday in Thailand instead. Hehe.

    Anything that you want from over here just let me know

  10. Shae Says:

    ppl will be all buddy buddy when need something… when dun need ‘bye bye buddy’ and then goes missing for God knows how many years. hahahahhah …. u r not the only one who kena….

  11. anigma Says:

    Colourmecrazy: Got ah? Got good husband material guys to intro ah? Come, we be buddy buddy. Lol!!

    Jayelle: Eh! Long time no see liao. Busy with exams hor? Yeah la. Those are some idiots which I don’t think I want to keep in touch with.

    Kat: No lah. We share same surname mah. Like it or not, I have no choice but to treat you like family liao. LOL!!

    Shae: I guess everyone sure has some friends which are like dat one.. fucked up. Hahahha. I guess we just have to learn to protect ourselves.

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