A Friend Indeed

I had another bout of weird dreams the past few weeks and I could only find time to pen it down now. With much regret, some slipped my mind as the week progressed.

Dream #1

A few days ago, I had a dream of myself trying to measure a mattress. I was given a very short measuring tape and I kept complaining I couldn’t simply get a proper measurement if I don’t get a proper measuring tape. I kept measuring and measuring in frustration, and woke up feeling frustrated. It then occurred to me that, I was measuring my own mattress. I could just use my height as measurement and add the remaining length or minus the remaining width. So silly of me to not think of that in my dream!

Dream #2

Yesterday night, after I watched the first 17 episodes of Bleach, I had enough doses of anime men, especially the hunky Yatsutora “Chad” Sado. I know it’s kinda late to be absorbed in the frenzy over Bleach, but better late than never! I am glad I eventually get myself addicted to Bleach and revived my interest in the Japanese language, which I took briefly.

I slept hoping to dream of Sado, which I did. I was at an old house, somewhat looking like the old torture house in Phnom Penh, called the S21 prison. I was with AJ and he wanted to use the bathroom. So, we went to the bathroom and saw Sado at the entrance. He was the toilet guardian and demanded 10 sen per entry. I used my charms (in dreams, I have charms ok!) on Sado. He was bewitched. AJ got to use the toilet for free and I scored a dinner date with Sado. When he appeared at my house to pick me up, the alarm clock rang.

@#$%^&* Baka! @#$$%^&* Dame!

In dreams, I even go out with a toilet boy? Geez… I must be very desperate. A friend said, as long as the guy looks like Sado, never mind what he does. Nothing else matters. She is right. Even if he is merely a fantasy. *Sigh*

Dream #3

The weirdest was last week’s. I slept at about 1 am after tossing and turning in bed. I was too sleepy but my brain just could not shut down. Must be watching too much tv. Big Love made its debut last night at HBO. I find it not at all that interesting really.

I dreamt that both Ed and I were in a house with mosaics of blue and green flowers motives. The interior design was very old, as old as pre-war houses you can find in smaller towns. We were washing dishes on three very oddly shaped sinks. The sinks were right in the middle of the kitchen overlooking the stove. As I was washing the dishes and chatting away with Ed and some other unrecognizable faces, I felt an urge to go to the loo.

When I rushed to the bathroom, Ed was already in the toilet and I waited for my turn. Since I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I defecated on the floor. Err.. I didn’t really squat down to defecate but the shit was already there and instincts told me, the poo belonged to me. Hahaha.

I quickly ran outside the bathroom to bring in paper towels to clean up my own mess. To my horror, Ed already came out from the bathroom and cleaning up the shit on the floor. I was so embarrassed that I told him I could do that myself. Ed dismissed it and said it’s ok for him to assist me in cleaning up my shit. We were too busy cleaning up the shit that I heard a clinging sound outside my house. Then I woke up.

I wrote to Ed the next morning to tell him of this dream and thanked him for his endless support as a reliable friend, even in dreams. This guy wrote me a RM1,000 cheque when he heard of my house being broken into and lost all my belongings. Where can you find such a thoughtful friend??

Buying Time

I was down with terrible diarrhea on Tuesday night after eating home made lemon cheesecake from Mr Yum Kong.

I never believe karma could be that swift.

Just after I bitched about him here in my blog, he baked the whole department a nice lemon cheesecake infested with fungus (only on the tiny spot that I happened to eat). I had one tiny weeny slice of the cheesecake and then, a packet of nasi lemak and washed it all down with a cup of Nescafe. My neighbour colleague had the same thing too and she was okay, unless her stomach is made of steel.

The tea lady who plays SUDOKU everyday in office, fainted in the pantry after eating two slices of cheesecake. We joked about Mr Yum Kong’s lethal recipe in the cake that made her queasy. As some male colleagues helped her to the wheel chair to wheel her downstairs to a car to take her to the hospital, I learned that this is her yearly “fainting spree”. Every year, without fail, after Hari Raya, she would faint as she must have eaten a lot of oily stuffs during Raya. Some colleagues even complained of her smoking like a chimney in the toilet on Monday. No wonder.

If I were to choose between blaming the cheesecake or the nasi lemak, I could safely bet my money that the cheesecake. Even my doc mentioned that cakes or bread are more prone to fungus infection.

As soon as I down my last drop of coffee, I felt like shit. I was feeling bloody queasy. I blamed myself for laughing at the SUDOKU playing tea lady too early. When I got home for lunch, I didn’t eat anything at all. I went upstairs to nap.

When I got back to the office, I felt my breathing was a little off. There was an extreme uneasiness in the stomach. I felt bloated. I mean, I always feel bloated because I am such a fat ass, but this is a different kind of bloating. I think I must have cheesed off my neighbour colleague as I was very whiney.

At that spur of the moment, I swore off cheesecake. I told myself, I will never ever eat another cheesecake in my entire life. I even swore off nasi lemak, my only love. The moment I think of nasi lemak or cheesecake, I just want to puke my entire guts out. Seriously, I was very ill. I never have it so bad before. In fact, I thought I might kick the bucket anytime soon.

I went to the doc and slept the entire Wednesday. When I tried to sleep again at night, I was awake like an owl. I watched some nonsense on E! till 4 am. This morning, I feel like I could eat an entire horse due to almost non existence trace of food the day before. I even regretted swearing off nasi lemak. Not the cheesecake though. Yucks!

As I was still contemplating what healthier things to have for breakfast, my sister buzzed me over the phone.

“You better be prepared to pray really hard!” she said.

“What’s wrong?” I was not amused.

“Your so called good friend in Kuching, something happened to her…” she said.

“What is it??” I have no mood for guessing games.

“She died this morning of heart attack.”

“WHAT??”

“She is only 36.”

I could feel that my recent recovered appetite just flew off the window.

M is a mother of three months old twins. She was happily chatting about the latest Transformers toys to get for her eldest son with one of my colleagues. She even had some biscuits party with some colleagues before she sign out from office on Wednesday. She even bought a lot of vegetables to cook for dinner last night. She took one of the baby twins from the baby sitter to come home for a night. When her husband was out to shop for some stuffs, she collapsed and died while lying on the sofa.

I never felt this mortal before my entire life.

I did felt like dying when I had food poisoning on Tuesday and I guess, humans are all the same. We have to be constantly reminded on how fragile this life is.

My neighbour colleague then asked me, “Are you afraid of dying?”

I paused awhile to think. Since I consider myself a borderline pagan-atheist-free thinker, I don’t think I am afraid of dying. I am afraid of dying a painful death. I am afraid to die without sorting out my affairs. I am not afraid of dying because I have nothing to lose.

I wish I could be nicer to M when she was still alive. No doubt, we did go neck to neck in some matters but things subsided when we got less and less chance of working together. The last time I spoke to her was probably sometime last year when I thanked her for assisting me to obtain a signature. I felt relieved that my last words to her were appreciation, rather than terrible things which I am very prone to commit.

I pray that M’s soul would be at ease. I pray for the welfare of the twins. I believe their dad will be able to take good care of them. It breaks my heart deeply to see children losing a parent at such age that they don’t even recognize the faces.

It never fails to make me wonder, why we always take people for granted when they are very much alive and only to regret it when they passed on? Why can’t we always be nicer and exercise a little more patient now?

I am at loss of words. It’s 2 am now as I am writing this on a loan notebook from my brother. (Thanks!)

I think this life is wonderful, if we choose to live it to the fullest. I guess we must learn and understand that life is always fragile but it’s up to us to squeeze every bit and make the most out of it. I guess we could consider we had lived a life, no matter how short it is, when we finally stop telling ourselves, I wish I could have more time.

Finding Love

Chocolate Souffle Cake Ala Moda

On Saturday, my colleagues and I went to Hot Chocolate for our usual monthly luncheon gathering. We bitched about an ex colleague.

Let’s call her Ms Mole as she has a mole next to her nose but in no way as leggy and pretty as Cindy Crawford.

Ms Mole left our office as Secretary after a decade of service. She wanted to try her luck on direct selling. Her family is quite well to do, so basically, even if she doesn’t work, her parents could afford to finance her for life.

Since Ms Mole is born with silver spoon in her mouth, her prospect for husband has to be someone to match her status. I think she is 36 years old this year and her time is running short.

She had a lion’s share of contributing to the gossip banks in the office. I heard she was always on the prowl for new male colleagues from investigating the new hapless sod’s background to what car he drives to work.

All these years, there were a few guys who caught her fancy and most of them fend off her advances as soon as she got to know them.

A few months ago, there was a new 40-year old new male colleague (and very single!) came to our office. Let’s call him Mr Yum Kong (since this is his favorite phrase). It was love at first sight for Ms Mole. But not love at first sight looking at his face, but looking at the car he drives. Mr Yum Kong drives a Mercedes SLK to office when my boss is still using the company car, Camry.

Her “love” for him was sealed when we were invited to his house over the weekend for steamboat. He lives alone in an end lot house of a reputable neighborhood and he cooks.

She helped out one of the girls in the kitchen to wash dishes and broke the news that she had broken up with her boyfriend whom she told us some weeks earlier that, she saw a diamond ring in his drawer and he would pop up the question anytime soon. And to her horror (the lucky bastard!) , the ring was not meant for her.

Immediately after the lunch, Ms Mole had been calling Mr Yum Kong incessantly to the point of harassment. She would missed call him and hopes that he would return call. Mr Yum Kong didn’t even keep her number at the first place and after numerous missed calls that weekend, he came to office to check with us whose number is that. He was horrified that this woman called him at 6 am and 12 am everyday and expected him to call her back.

A few days after making the nuisance calls and him, not calling her back, she contacted the girls who went to the steamboat party. One by one, she interrogated and asked why Mr Yum Kong didn’t call her back or reply her sms-es, as if we could read his mind. I simply don’t understand which part of this guy attracted her that much that she had to stoop this low to get his attention.

She even threatened one of the girls, should she finds anyone bad mouthed about her in front of this guy, she would take drastic action towards the person. Like what? Kill that person? For God’s sake!

Ms Mole even tried to reason with one of the girls that, Mr Yum Kong had been in a doomed relationship before and it scarred him for life that he would be hesitant to get involved again and she perfectly understood this. And she reiterated that she would wait for him, no matter what it takes. Oh gawd. I am gonna puke.

We were all horrified. Some of us even told Mr Yum Kong to quickly talk to her to end all these nonsense but this guy refused. No balls lah.

Towards the end, this girl finally sms-ed the guy and said that she will stop harassing him from that day onwards and respected his decisions.

That was not the end yet. I heard the guy didn’t even dare to go back to his house and bunk in his friend’s place for 2 weeks to avoid her.

Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense why there were such people in this world. I believe both sides are in the wrong. The girl, dying for his affections should have confronted him directly and stop involving us in her chasing games. As for Mr Yum Kong, he should have the balls to tell it direct to her face that he is not interested. Common sense would tell you that, from his actions, it was loud and clear that he is not interested but some people just need you to slap them on the face to wake them up.

To me, I think, if you are truly interested in someone, you ought to be subtle and slowly sow and grow the seeds of love. Believe me. I learned the hard way. When I told someone that I like him on his face, he almost jumped off a moving car. Erm.. that is another story altogether.

I advise to try going out as friends to discover common interests. If there is at least some chemistry, then you are on the right track and I wish you all the best. Should there be no chemistry, be glad that at least you have made yourself a friend.

I guess finding your soul mate should not be dictated by time or society. If it is destined that you will find somebody, you will. I believe there is always someone out there for everyone. Remember my grasshopper story? What we need to do is to be open to possibilities and learn to go with the flow. In Paulo Coelho’s words – “I opened the window of my heart. The sun flooded my house and love flooded my soul.”

Be Heard

I was on my way to the beauty salon for facial yesterday when I chanced upon this. There were workers putting up these colorful signboards as if they would pacify/console the hearts of the people on the happenings around the country.

So, general election day is coming soon. Probably sooner than expected. Brace ourselves for more prices increase in daily goods and basic necessities. I heard that the price of milk powder for babies will increase in November. Reason – not known. Those experts who peg inflation rate not more than 5% every year probably never completed primary school and they can all kiss my ass.

Have you registered to vote? This year, I ensure my entire family signed up to vote for the betterment of the people in Malaysia. Even if we know it might not make much difference, but at least, we could be heard. We should be heard. Exercise your rights.

Three Days

The weekend was most well spent. My aunt was surprised to see me at home, hogging the tv for 10 hours straight. I remained in the same position for a few hours watching re-runs on E!, HBO and Star Movies. She asked why am I at home since it’s a holiday. You tend to get this if you always do the Houdini escapism act during weekends and only return home to sleep.

I am going to “catalogue” how I spent my weekend.

Entertainment

Watched re-runs of Returns of Superman, the Lake House, Pirates of the Carribean, Mumford, BTK Killer.

Bourne Ultimatum with Ed at One U.

Enigma of Loch Ness. It was supposed to be a documentary on finding the truth or facts (believe me, they are not the same) of the existence of this monster. The expedition ended up comically and downright hilarious. I could hear my own hyena laughter throughout the empty house. (Family has gone back to Taiping for the Raya holidays together with exodus of millions of people and the kids were home with their own parents, aunt and dad went to play marathon mahjong and sister as usual, busy with the mechanic).

The statement that caught my attention as I was flipping through channels which made me watched this movie – “If you notice, majority of the women who claimed they were abducted by aliens were overweight or obese women. And not only abducted, they claimed they were gang raped by aliens. Why is it only American women were abducted? Why not women from Ethiopia, India, Bangladesh or Vietnam?”

It’s freaking hilarious. Please watch it if you have the chance on Star Movies.

I went for karaoke. (Yeah! Yeah! Sue me!) Actually, it’s more about the food. We couldn’t stop stuffing ourselves in the face. Free flow of salad and drinks at Neway. It was very disruptive singing session. The waiters and waitresses kept coming in and out of the room as I was trying to maintain my pitch (if I have one, that is). It’s hard to sing in front of my friends. It’s even harder to sing in front of strangers.

Shopping

I didn’t want to shop for shoes till a stupid stray dog kept coming to my house and stole my shoes. At first it bit Sasha’s shoes and messed up the newspapers left outside the house. Then it came back for Sasha’s shoes again (another pair). I was too careless to have left my one and only working sandals outside and it got stolen as well. The annoying part is, this dog only took away one side of every pairs of shoes. That idiotic dog.

So, I went on to buy my old working sandals, same aunty-ish white colored shoes from Bata. I don’t care if it is aunty-ish as long as it’s comfy. Then, for the life of me, I don’t know what went into me. I turned into a shopaholic in a blink of an eye and impulsively purchased three pairs of shoes instead of one. Sigh. I bought shoes out of the norm. I usually opt for ordinary and boring looking flat sandals. I ended up gotten myself a pair of green colored shoes and a loafer. Aunty or not?

The bargain at Parkson’s proved to be irresistible. I ended up with a handbag I wanted for so long at 70% off to replace my favorite Le Sportsac which got stolen. I got myself another pair of jeans at Isetan in 5 minutes. Women!

Makan parties

Thanks to AJ for inviting me to his tea party yesterday that I couldn’t sleep because of too much tea in my body system. We tried everything from China to Malaysia and some, we don’t even know the origin of the tea. I guess I am not a tea person. I still very much prefer coffee to tea.

I was very glad that I could resist temptation to eat meat. There were nice char siew pastries and salamis. Sigh. I am going vegetarian for 9 days to observe the Ninth Emperor God’s Festival till this coming Saturday.

Holy holy

Thinning of Ozone Layers

I went to the temple of the Ninth Emperor God’s Festivals on Saturday night. It was chaotic. I simply couldn’t understand why people would want to bring their kids there. It was filled with smoke from the burning of incense sending everyone into tears.

The devotees were huddled into a beeline, taking turns to place the joss sticks on designated pots and trying hard not to burn each other or selves. I was glad that since it was at night and the air was cooling, there was no bodily odors or sweaty arm pits and was rather surprise that there was a whiff of my favorite men’s fragrance – Giorgio Armani’s Aqua di Gio.

I went home after spending 30 minutes looking at the stalls there selling variety of things from miku (Chinese bread) to DVDs. There was even a snake show there. There were flocks of beggars loitering all over the grounds of the temple, most of them elderly people and the handicapped, making the most from the generous crowd.

Taking a nap

How did your weekend go?