I was down with terrible diarrhea on Tuesday night after eating home made lemon cheesecake from Mr Yum Kong.
I never believe karma could be that swift.
Just after I bitched about him here in my blog, he baked the whole department a nice lemon cheesecake infested with fungus (only on the tiny spot that I happened to eat). I had one tiny weeny slice of the cheesecake and then, a packet of nasi lemak and washed it all down with a cup of Nescafe. My neighbour colleague had the same thing too and she was okay, unless her stomach is made of steel.
The tea lady who plays SUDOKU everyday in office, fainted in the pantry after eating two slices of cheesecake. We joked about Mr Yum Kong’s lethal recipe in the cake that made her queasy. As some male colleagues helped her to the wheel chair to wheel her downstairs to a car to take her to the hospital, I learned that this is her yearly “fainting spree”. Every year, without fail, after Hari Raya, she would faint as she must have eaten a lot of oily stuffs during Raya. Some colleagues even complained of her smoking like a chimney in the toilet on Monday. No wonder.
If I were to choose between blaming the cheesecake or the nasi lemak, I could safely bet my money that the cheesecake. Even my doc mentioned that cakes or bread are more prone to fungus infection.
As soon as I down my last drop of coffee, I felt like shit. I was feeling bloody queasy. I blamed myself for laughing at the SUDOKU playing tea lady too early. When I got home for lunch, I didn’t eat anything at all. I went upstairs to nap.
When I got back to the office, I felt my breathing was a little off. There was an extreme uneasiness in the stomach. I felt bloated. I mean, I always feel bloated because I am such a fat ass, but this is a different kind of bloating. I think I must have cheesed off my neighbour colleague as I was very whiney.
At that spur of the moment, I swore off cheesecake. I told myself, I will never ever eat another cheesecake in my entire life. I even swore off nasi lemak, my only love. The moment I think of nasi lemak or cheesecake, I just want to puke my entire guts out. Seriously, I was very ill. I never have it so bad before. In fact, I thought I might kick the bucket anytime soon.
I went to the doc and slept the entire Wednesday. When I tried to sleep again at night, I was awake like an owl. I watched some nonsense on E! till 4 am. This morning, I feel like I could eat an entire horse due to almost non existence trace of food the day before. I even regretted swearing off nasi lemak. Not the cheesecake though. Yucks!
As I was still contemplating what healthier things to have for breakfast, my sister buzzed me over the phone.
“You better be prepared to pray really hard!” she said.
“What’s wrong?” I was not amused.
“Your so called good friend in Kuching, something happened to her…” she said.
“What is it??” I have no mood for guessing games.
“She died this morning of heart attack.”
“She is only 36.”
I could feel that my recent recovered appetite just flew off the window.
M is a mother of three months old twins. She was happily chatting about the latest Transformers toys to get for her eldest son with one of my colleagues. She even had some biscuits party with some colleagues before she sign out from office on Wednesday. She even bought a lot of vegetables to cook for dinner last night. She took one of the baby twins from the baby sitter to come home for a night. When her husband was out to shop for some stuffs, she collapsed and died while lying on the sofa.
I never felt this mortal before my entire life.
I did felt like dying when I had food poisoning on Tuesday and I guess, humans are all the same. We have to be constantly reminded on how fragile this life is.
My neighbour colleague then asked me, “Are you afraid of dying?”
I paused awhile to think. Since I consider myself a borderline pagan-atheist-free thinker, I don’t think I am afraid of dying. I am afraid of dying a painful death. I am afraid to die without sorting out my affairs. I am not afraid of dying because I have nothing to lose.
I wish I could be nicer to M when she was still alive. No doubt, we did go neck to neck in some matters but things subsided when we got less and less chance of working together. The last time I spoke to her was probably sometime last year when I thanked her for assisting me to obtain a signature. I felt relieved that my last words to her were appreciation, rather than terrible things which I am very prone to commit.
I pray that M’s soul would be at ease. I pray for the welfare of the twins. I believe their dad will be able to take good care of them. It breaks my heart deeply to see children losing a parent at such age that they don’t even recognize the faces.
It never fails to make me wonder, why we always take people for granted when they are very much alive and only to regret it when they passed on? Why can’t we always be nicer and exercise a little more patient now?
I am at loss of words. It’s 2 am now as I am writing this on a loan notebook from my brother. (Thanks!)
I think this life is wonderful, if we choose to live it to the fullest. I guess we must learn and understand that life is always fragile but it’s up to us to squeeze every bit and make the most out of it. I guess we could consider we had lived a life, no matter how short it is, when we finally stop telling ourselves, I wish I could have more time.