This week has been a crazy week for me in the office. Here’s a collective funnies and not happened over the week.
I dreaded the thought to follow up on flight itinerary and visa early in the morning and tried to push it till mid day. I didn’t want my day to be spoilt by talking to monkeys shitting-and-pooping in THE travel agency. Yes, THE travel agency is that scary!
Here’s bit of conversation of the day:-
Young Monkey (YM): Gimme your fax number, I will fax to you.
Me: (Wondering – you have been dealing with me for a year and you don’t have my fax number?) Don’t you have a soft copy of the visa form? You can e-mail me.
YM: What is soft copy ah?
Me: ???????? (Speechless)
YM: Soft copy? .. What is that ah?
Me: Sigh. Never mind. Just fax the Indian visa to me. 03-XXX XXX XX
YM: Err… Indian visa to where ah?
Me: *Fuming mad. Not sure whether to laugh or cry* Uhm.. Indian Visa is of course for India lah! Then, China meh????
YM: Oh.. oops.. sorry.
A few minutes later….
YM: Which hotel you will be putting up?
Me: Well, you are the travel agent. Please advise me.
YM: Ah… ….. *Clack….
Left the phone abruptly like she always does. Totally no basic phone etiquettes. Heard she ruffled some papers. Bleak conversation on the background.
YM: Ah… ok.. I put you in Chennai ok?
Me: Eh??? We are flying to New Delhi you know! Not Chennai! Find a hotel in New Delhi!
YM: Oh…. Ok lah…. I will put a hotel in New Delhi.
A few minutes later…
Me: Hello, Old Monkey!* Can you please check if there any other flights back from Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur? It’s better than to be on wait list.
* I wish I could say that!
Old Monkey (OM): No more.. wait for the 4 pm flight.
Me: They reach Bangkok from Islamabad at 6.15 am! You want them to wait till 4 pm??? There are so many other carriers. We don’t necessary take Thai airways.
OM: No, you cannot do that.
Me: Why cannot?
OM: Cannot, cannot, cannot.
Me: Okay. Then please book for me business class, wait list for economy class.
OM: No! You cannot do that!!! Cannot!
Me: Why cannot?
OM: Cannot, cannot, cannot!
And I didn’t make this up!
Well, there were some funny stuffs happening too.
As I returned from bitching to another colleague of the idiotic monkeys infested travel agency….
Colleague: Your boss asks you to book lunch at ABC for 8 people at 12.45 pm.
Me: Ok thanks.
After making the booking, I text my boss, who was in a meeting.
Me: Boss, do you want me to order some dishes for you, so you don’t have to wait?
Me: I ordered 6 dishes and one plate of fruit.
Boss: Ok. Must have prawns.
Me: Yes. I ordered the Kong Lam Har.
Boss: Ok, thanks.
I am now the official menu planner.
In a meeting today, the finance manager requested for a glass of water. Since the tea lady is on medical leave (she was hospitalised due to heart attack – attained from eating nasi lemak, mee goreng, teh tarik, roti canai and other fattening stuffs every freaking morning even though she is a diabetic, hypertensive, has mild heart attack and is on a shoe box filled with tablets and medication), I pulak have to be tea lady for the day.
Boss: Eh? Where is the tea lady?
Me: She is hospitalized. Heart attack.
Manager: AGAIN AH???
Earlier this week…
Finance Manager: Please inform your boss know the meeting is tomorrow at 8.30 am at the Big Boss house.
FM: Another thing… the Big Boss wants to eat Wan Tan Mee for breakfast. Ask your boss to ta pao please.
Me: What???? Ta pao??? *Lol*
FM: Yes, that’s right! I also want. Small one, please.
Me: Boss, FM said there is a meeting at the Big Boss house tomorrow morning at 8.30 am.
Boss: Yes, I am aware.
Me: Erm…. She said, the Big Boss wanted to eat Wan Tan Mee. Ask you to ta pao.
Boss: *Chuckles* Wan Tan Mee eh?
Me: Yes. She wants a small serving. *Quickly ran out from his office*
Boss made a phone call to the FM. I couldn’t help but listen to the conversation… since he speaks like a loud speaker.
Boss: Meeting at 8.30 am… ok.. any other.. special assignment….. *chuckles* … ah? Wan Tan Mee? … What is Wan Tan Mee ah?….. The black black one ah?? … with char siew one?….. the one with sui kow? ….. you want how many sui kow?? …. *chuckles*
I think I should write script for “the Office”.