Not So Friendly Reminder

From: Chu Mak
To: All
Subject: ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING ~ FRIENDLY REMINDER (must put CAPS meh?)

Dear All Staff,

We write express our appreciation to all shareholders (staff) who attended the AGM of XYZ today (too hungry is it? Till omitted the word “to”). It was successfully chaired by our Chairman, Mr ABC and attended by members of Board of Directors. (kiss ass sucker!!!)

As you are aware, the numbers of our External Shareholders who attended the meeting today has increased. (How we know? We do not control the attendance list)

It was a surprised for us to observe that some of our staff (non-shareholders) enjoying the lunch, while the external shareholders are still around. Making the situation worst, while some of our guests and external shareholders intend to re-fill, the food had reduced with minimal choices for them. (Good what! Nobody should eat too much! Have to practise moderation)

We do understand during previous years; if there was an extra food, we will invite the staff to eat. However, this afternoon, with No invitation, staff joined the lunch with No Priority extended to the guests and external shareholders. (Eh! You think we all self invite meh? Got people ask us lah! Please get your facts right before pointing accusing finger!)

Please be reminded that AGM was held for the shareholders. (NO… you are wrong.. it’s also for guests, the press, directors and proxies). In the future, we seek your cooperation to observe manners (I wonder who is the one with bad manners here) and giving priorities (bad English grammar, consider revision) to them to enjoy their meals.

Please do understand our intention and in the future, we will not tolerate to bare (bare? Buka kain? Semi value meh?) the embarrassment on the above issue anymore.

Hence, we seek you full co-operations and understanding. (Me no understand coz me no speak bad England)

Regards,
CHU MAK

*** anyway, our “makan’ were served for every assembly.

Gasp!!!

First of all, I would like to apologize to traumatize you people with such bad English. My bad!

This is an e-mail from the group corporate communication and PR department. Can you beat it? It’s written by someone who has been working here for so many donkey years and has yet to improve her diplomatic skill. Wait a minute.. how to improve if she doesn’t even have the skill at the first place, huh?

The mail was sent after the fateful company’s AGM and sent everyone into fitful fury frenzy. In fact, everyone questioned the need to include the last sentence (highlighted in red) into the e-mail. Is it entirely necessary?

As retaliation, many decided to boycott the buffet breakfast this morning. I bet I could hear “V for Vendetta” screaming in my head. It was rewarding to see further strain in her perpetual scowling face when there was no usual beeline at the buffet table.

On a serious note, as someone who represents the company in major events, she could have been more tactful in addressing the issue. I mean, okay… we admitted, out of confusion, we had gone to help ourselves earlier than planned and we were in the wrong, and we apologized. But.. is it necessary to use such nasty manner to tell us off?

Instead of using demeaning and degrading words, not to mention childish and unprofessional – as if we were all so hard up for the food; she could have written a truly friendly reminder, advising the staff to wait for instruction from top management and seek our cooperation.

It was an unfortunate incident that, things went out of control when some staff who were also shareholders invited other staff who are not; to join in their makan session as friendly gesture. Heck. We even saw external shareholders bringing their own Tupperware to pile up the food! I have been to numerous AGM and food is NEVER ENOUGH because shareholders and proxies would bring their own utensils to pack to feed the entire family. A friend shared with me that, when she was in the hotel line, one company even ordered food for 600 people when the hall could only fit 300.

I hope this would teach the moron that, basic etiquettes and modesty are required to draft even the simplest letters and the importance of treating work colleagues with respect; even if she does not have self respect; hitting below the belt with her “well-meaning” “friendly” reminder.

P/S And.. she doesn’t have to bloody bold and highlight some of the “important” points. We know what to read.

The Simplest Things

I received this e-mail some time ago, and I felt it’s good to share.

—–Original Message—–
From: AW
Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 12:22 PM
To: Gina
Subject: depression

Dear Gina,

A good friend of mine committed suicide on last Monday. She hung herself in her bedroom.

A few years ago she attended a motivational course and after that she was besides herself. Staring into space, talking nonsense at times but she recovered after a few months.

After this incident, she did fall into bouts of depression at times but she always managed to pull herself up.

An aggressive lady (she is in the advertising line), bubbly and also one who speaks her mind, we still do not know what were the reasons for her depression. Come from a good family background, close knit family and financials are not the problem either. Family is well-to-do.

Blame it on the motivational course? You know some of these courses will really make you feel rotten, pull you real down and they will slowly pull you up and you are supposed to feel really positive and supposedly found the real meaning of life, blah blah. Do think twice before you attend all these courses. They could have failed to pull her out of the pit.

But we as friends and the family will never know. She did not even leave behind any last message.

What was she thinking of when she decided to take that ‘route’? She has so much going for her. It is just not worth it. Easier said than done.

Anyway I hope that she would have a happy life in another world.

AW

I myself have been to numerous motivational camps. Some were from my ex church, from offices I worked with, from college and there was one from direct selling.

I could remember vividly a particular one from direct selling seminars. Don’t ask me what has gone into my head for agreeing to attend such seminars – but I did, maybe out of boredom.

I was pretty relieved that I came out of it alive. During the seminar, they had us do some pretty ridiculous stuff but somehow not entirely impossible to foster mind over matters and team spirit. There was one where they told us to convince them to let us through, with barriers acting as check points in our lives. With tears and courage, I fought on. It was some 8 years ago that I went to this seminar. It didn’t make me rich like I hope to, but at least, it changed my perception that everything is possible, even if sometimes, in certain areas, I do remain cynical.

If you have read Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad, you would probably know what I am trying to say. Not everyone would be suited for the Business Owner Quadrant. That explains, there are only 3% super duper rich people in this world, in the likes of Bill Gates and Tiger Woods. If everyone could be strictly disciplined, work extra hard and focus, there would be more people contributing the Business Owner Quadrant in this world.

With all due respect, these seminars do teach you to know what you want in life and work hard to strive for it. But sometimes, it doesn’t suit your purpose or couldn’t work the way you wanted it to be, so you would have to learn to let go.

My friend who died a few years ago due to depression because she set unrealistic goals for herself was one good example, as well as AW’s friend who committed suicide two years ago.

It was also sad to read about some direct marketing companies caused rift among family members with children disowning their parents because they did not want to give them the money they wanted to start their own “business”.

I do hope people who are attending such courses would exercise their rationale and discernment on how it might impact their lives.

It’s not wrong to pursue our dreams and goals with hard work, discipline and a little luck. But bear in mind, we are also merely mortals, and being human is to err.

What I am trying to say is, we sometimes have to learn to live a little and appreciate the simplest things in this life. After all, with all the riches and material wealth, how are you going to bring it with you when you pass on?

The End of Days

Not too long ago, I think I read something about a cult emerging from the cave they were hiding due to stench from corpse rotting in the same cave they sought refuge from the predicted doom’s day on 27th April 2008. I rolled my eyes in disgust that there are actually some idiots believed in such thing and have simple minds that, they think by staying in the cave would keep them alive.

When I was little, imagine, a little girl at age 7, having insomnia because the Sunday School teachers planted a fear in us that, the end of the world is near. I cried myself to sleep every night thinking of my ah poh, ah mah, papa and mama rotting in hell because they are not believers of Christ.

I embarked on a fierce mission to convert my parents, relatives and siblings to believing in Christ because I want them to have eternal life. My burning passion was being jeered at as an unhealthy obsession. It took me years to realize that, probably I can never be good enough and probably, I was not even guaranteed a place in heaven.

I started to take matters more lightly and never have I ever felt so liberated in my life. I was practically living in fear and hopelessness during my adolescent years, no thanks to the bad approach from the church to instill such great fear in a child.

I know there is no explanation on how God works. With all due respect, I would not question the work of God. I know He does exists, it’s just that I don’t think we all should be overly concern on what He does because we will NEVER understand. I have given up entirely the need to understand Him. And I believe all religions only teach their disciples to be good. Problems only arise when people misinterpreted the teachings in any religion in accordance to their greed and in order to benefit themselves.

The recent earthquake and catastrophes brought about many doomsday soothsayers on how the catastrophes happened. Some blamed it on karma, some blamed the Olympics mascots, some were harping on their mistakes for not taking the Lee Bai’s poem written 1,000 years ago predicting the earthquake seriously, some even came up with a list of coming disasters circulating over the internet.

In my layman’s understanding, I do feel the world is coming to an end. The abuse of mother nature’s resources should not be taken lightly. Wastage of water, soils, endless pollution, poaching of animals that otherwise would act as a balance in our world ecosystem, human evolution that caused even more problems to the world – sometimes, it does make one wonder whether evolution is a good thing or otherwise.

Ah.. these are things can cause severe cerebral damages if I keep on thinking about them. Meanwhile, I guess, as long as we play our parts right – minimize wastages whenever we can, use a fan instead of an air conditioner, donate money to victims (this is the best we can do), pray for those who are suffering and lend a hand to people who needs them; I think we are good enough.

If all these fail to make some merit points in order to get to heaven (if it does exists, that is), we could always join our other friends for BBQ in hell.

Eat, Drink, Be Merry

Deco at Dragon-I

The long weekend catered for only one thing: sheer gluttony. It was a good, long weekend to catch up with friends over food and drinks. After all in my world, this is life – eat, drink and be merry. So, this would be a photoblog of pure gluttony.

Siu Long Pao

Friday night out with the girls at Pavillion. Since we were at lost of what to eat, we just go for the safer choice; Dragon I.

Saturday night, to celebrate one of the friends in the famed post on the organic horror of the seven spinsters and we went to Queen’s Park, Cheras for pumpkin porridge steamboat and seafood. We ended the night at one of the girl’s house for kick-ass coffee and juicy gossips.

Sunday night, I was at another friend’s place and each of us cook some dishes. As usual, since I only know how to make two dishes, I made both.

Sweet sour chicken, from moi

Roasted chai ngor from moi

Cheese bake rice, courtesy from AH

Fried Wanton, courtesy from LL

Seafood tofu, courtesy from JK’s mom

Pasta Carbonara, courtesy from SG

*AJ brought drinks only. Yawn.. haha!:D

Today, I was at ONE U with Taufu Pok and had my late lunch at one of my favorite food haunt – Just Thai for phad kebao kedao.

This sums up my long and sinful weekend. Hope yours was just as eventful.

Truth or Hoax?

As I am typing this, my sister and the rest at her floor were busy talking about switching off the handphone tonight at 11 pm.

Earlier this week, I received an e-mail from the Too-free-nothing-to-do-moron in my office and dismissed it as plain lies.

Just forward – Penting. Baca sebelum malam ni (13 mei)

HANDPHONE malam ini dimatikan. Menurut METRO TV, pada jam 11 malam ini akan ada gelombang radiasi yang besar yang berbahaya utk manusia. yang akan tertangkap oleh semua hp & pemancar. Beritahu yang lain/teman2 jgan taruh hp dekat kepala..

It would be stupid to even believe this. I still sleep with my handphone on as who knows; there might be an emergency. You would need to call the police when criminals break into your house. It would be too tedious to switch on the phone, key in your password (if you can remember that during emergency).

When my sister called me awhile ago, she sounded distressed.

She: Tonight ah, have to off handphone you know.

Me: Don’t tell me you believe that stupid b*tch lah. It’s over already lah.

She: No no.. not her! A supplier called up our colleague just now and inform her that, her friend’s friend’s friend died in Puchong yesterday. He answered the phone call at 11 pm and he died.

Me: How? Maybe he so ngam died of heart attack?

She: No no.. it says ah – if you get a phone call at 11 pm, if you see it’s a call from overseas and the numbers blink in red, please do not pick up! She said, the man died because his life got sucked out of him – by some bomoh from Indonesia. She said, even her maid’s mom called her all the way from Indonesia to inform her this. It’s true.

Me: *Thinking of Predator movie yesterday – sucking life out of the body* Err… okay…

Apparently, this news were published in the local newspapers – Harian Metro. If anyone has the clippings, please send it to me… I want to have a good laugh. Millions of handphone users’ lives will be at stake tonight.

Anyone harboring a death wish for a long time, well, this is probably a convenient way to go. Haha! Just kidding!

Have a good weekend, people! Remember ah! Don’t pick up call tonight at 11 pm if it’s from overseas and the numbers blink in red light! *Chuckle*

Icy Cold Murder

The initial plan was ice skating. After watching the re-runs of American Next Top Model, doing some photo gigs on the ice ring, I was inspired to go ice skating. I was telling ML, that I wanted to go ice skating. Somehow, we ended up in front of the bowling counter. Seeing other friends eagerly waiting to go for bowling, I relented. We signed up for 3 games each.

Half way through bowling, I was approached by a very handsome man. I bid good bye to my friends, much to their dismay. I could feel they were cursing me as I was led away by this handsome stranger. As we were walking towards the car park, we passed by a wet market. There was a woman crying by the side of the market. We walked towards her and were greeted by a waft of the foul stench. The stench was unbearable. Like something died and decaying.

The weeping woman told us that she couldn’t find her missing friend. As we were trying to look for her friend in the wet market, I was curious of the stench that I followed the trail and found myself standing in front of an enclosed basket. I flipped the lid open. To my horror, I saw a few human parts being chopped up, and some bloody fingers were sticking out.

I controlled my gag reflex to vomit. As my face turned pale green, the handsome stranger came to me and asked me what’s going on? I pointed at the basket and suggested to call the police.

He quickly led me away into his car. Somehow, he started to behave suspiciously. He didn’t want me to go to the police and told me to go home.

“It’s none of our business! Just go home!” he started shouting at me.

Still yet to recover from my utter shock of discovering the body parts, I was jostled by his weird and rude demeanor. My instincts kicked in; telling me to get out from the car and to run as fast as I can.

I did. I got out from his car and ran as fast as my two legs could carry me. I bumped into another man and landed in his muscular arms. I went berserk and pointing at the handsome stranger coming after me. Out of the blue, my friends appeared and came to lend a hand.

Upon seeing such a big group, the man tried to escape. In the intense commotion, I overheard someone telling me; he was the wanted serial killer.

Sweat trickling down my face. Then, I woke up.

Random Updates

The week has been crazy. It’s a reporting week so, things are quite messy and hectic in office. To add to the messiness, the management came up with a new format for reports to torture us even further. Well, I guess I should still be thankful for one thing though – I am still employed!

I will list some updates of the week:-

1. Been reading a lot before going to sleep and that explained the dark circles under my eyes. No, it’s not make up. I look a bit like “L”, walking to work in a daze and blur half of the time. The last book completed is the Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards.

2. Celebrated dad’s birthday. Since I was busy at work, we got home by 8.30 pm, dad was already asleep before we came back with the cake. He starts his day at 2 am every morning to work. So, we sort of cut the cake without him and left some of it in the fridge for him. Happy birthday, dad!

3. QQ went to Taiping with my aunt, so there is peace and quiet in the house for the time being. The boy has new tricks up his sleeves now. All we did was we left him in his own crib for 5 minutes, and he took off his diapers, play with his poo poo; use them as gel or offer to others as chocolates.

4. I am addicted to Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The family is so damn hilarious. Their lines are so quirky and sarcastic. Dunno whether are they scripted?

5. I totally miss reading about RPK’s unlawful arrest and overlooked lighting a candle on May 7th to keep vigil for his release.. so, here’s one… no, three! Better late than never. Glad to read he’s out now.

Well, I guess this weekend, I just need to clear some stuffs at home – bills, loans, bank statements, etc and clean up my room.

And for tomorrow’s Mother’s Day, I probably would cook seafood tom yum for the family.

Creative Nursery Rhymes

I am sure most of us grew up learning nursery rhymes, some of them still etched somewhere in our heads that we would be surprised that, even in our 30s, we could still remember them. One of them is this one:-

One Two
Buckle my shoes

Three Four
Shut the door

Five Six
Pick up sticks

Seven Eight
Lay them straight

Nine Ten
A big fat hen

On Sunday, as I was vegetating in front of the tv, Sasha sang to me a very funny version of the same rhyme .

One Two
I like to eat buah ciku

Three Four
Kambing lari, ti or or
(Malay + hokkien: Goats ran, the sky is dark)

Five Six
Long time no see, I love sick

Seven Eight
Hong chia boh bu lek
(Hokkien: The car has no brakes)

Nine Ten
Long tiuk botak head
(Hokkien: Hit a botak head)

Apparently, it was my uncle from Taiping who taught her how to sing this when she went there for a holiday. Beware what you teach your children. They will remember it for life.

Five Minutes

Imagine getting arrested. You were allowed to make only one phone call and given 5 minutes to speak, what would you say?

Sailor Boy says (7:37 PM):
hello
in tong yeong now
korea
got 5 minutes to wifi

Gina says (7:37 PM):
eh finally got internet ah?
then you better do whatever you want lah

Sailor Boy says (7:37 PM):
in supermarket

Gina says (7:37 PM):
dont talk to me
lol

Sailor Boy says (7:37 PM):
hahaha
its okay
any 5 minutes news update
?

Gina says (7:37 PM):
The pet bought us dinner
Spent rm501 on thursday
haha
JK no more PMS
He got his new house keys liao
everyone is doing quite good

Sailor Boy says (7:38 PM):
siao
good good
at least when i come back
everyone will be in good mood

Gina says (7:38 PM):
his house will be ready by july

Sailor Boy says (7:38 PM):
and got pad to party

Gina says (7:38 PM):
well whenever you are back
everyone is in a good mood

Sailor Boy says (7:40 PM):
i am so honored

Gina says (7:40 PM):
here quite sien

Sailor Boy says (7:40 PM):
the supermarket here also got wifi
lol

Gina says (7:40 PM):
i think tomorrow i go out makan makan

Sailor Boy says (7:40 PM):
give ppl belanja 501 also sien??

Gina says (7:40 PM):
you got bring lap top meh?
lol
Rm501 for 6 of us
april’s bff also went

Sailor Boy says (7:41 PM):
the chicken??
the chicken went?
?

Gina says (7:41 PM):
not the chicken lah
april is the chicken mah
hahaha
you ah

Sailor Boy says (7:42 PM):
oh
sorry

Gina says (7:42 PM):
5 minutes also want to bitch

Sailor Boy says (7:42 PM):
blur for a while

Gina says (7:42 PM):
teruk case
lol

Sailor Boy says (7:42 PM):
lol
anyways i have to go liao

Gina says (7:42 PM):
ok
how come 5 mins nia one?
lol

Sailor Boy says (7:42 PM):
oth ppl want to use
coz its my friends laptoplah

Gina says (7:42 PM):
oh i see, ok ok see you around
love amulet
love amulet

Sailor Boy says (7:42 PM):
okay

Gina says (7:42 PM):
hahaha

Sailor Boy says (7:42 PM):
yeah yeah

Gina says (7:42 PM):
bye

Sailor Boy says (7:42 PM):
how can i forget
bai bai!
take care

Gina says (7:42 PM):
You take care too

Yes.. that’s Sailor Boy, speaking to me from a supermarket in Tong Yeong, Korea, sending his regards to his friends. No, he’s not in jail.

P/S If you don’t get what the conversation is all about, don’t bother. It’s a coded conversation.

For You, A Thousand Times Over

I have wanted to get a book, the Kite Runner earlier before it was being adapted into a movie. I kept lurking in the book stores and somehow didn’t manage to buy the book till the movie hit our shores.

I have read some books made into movies – before or after. Forrest Gump, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Bridget Jones’s Diary – the Edge of Reasons, the Firm, Just Cause, just to name a few. I find both books and movies were equally fascinating even with slight variations.

I managed to catch the Kite Runner in the cinema last week. It was a choice between the movie Kite Runner or the Forbidden Kingdom. Even though I like epic movies riddled with male testerones , giant battle fields, lots of blood and killing; the idea of having Jet Li and Jackie Chan conversing in English in the same movie is just too much to bear. So, it was an easy choice, I chose to watch the Kite Runner.

I was glad that I watched the Kite Runner. It was conceived in the charming and rustic old Afghanistan backdrop. The colours were rich and intoxicating. You could actually smell the lamb kebabs selling along the alleys and see the pretty, colorful kites flying in the sky. Never in your mind would you think Afghanistan was once a prosperous and happy country.

This movie changed my perception of Afghanistan and Islam in general. I am sure the moment we think of Afghanistan, an image of Osama bin Laden would be plastered in our minds. We chose to brush it off and label it as a lost cause country. We chose to turn a blind eye on the plight of the people of Afghanistan. Even though I abhor wars; I feel tackling the terrorists is a prevalent ongoing agenda for the world in general. I don’t know who to believe anymore. I don’t like to read about wars because it makes me sad.

Catching this movie opened my eyes on the things I chose to remain oblivious all these years. It was heart wrenching filled with human emotions which you don’t think exists. It showed the destitution in wars and confirmed sometimes, war is necessary. It showed that there true friends do exists; friends who would die for you to protect your honour.

It also showed a strong relationship between a father and son. The struggle of a father’s expectation of a son and a son eagerly trying his best to please his father, disappointed when he finds even though his father’s blood ran in him, that was all he inherited from his dad and nothing more.

The conversations moved me to tears; such beautifully crafted lines upon lines. It made us realize that, there are things we couldn’t change, but when opportunity knocks at your door, it is the only way to make good again.

I finally bought the book on Sunday and finished reading it by Tuesday night. I had to endure three nights of sleeplessness and going to work with swollen eyes. The movie is worth to watch, the book – I would read it a thousand times over.