20 Thoughts

As I was lying on the bed for almost 2.5 hours yesterday having facial, some random thoughts rushed through my mind.

1. Oh please, I hope there is not much extraction today. I have very bad case of black heads and haven’t been to facial for two whole months! I hope the blackheads had been reduced with regular use of Ginvera Marvel Gel.
2. Is the bed getting smaller or am I getting larger?
3. I have to do something with my hair.
4. People consuming monkey brains (when the new trainee is massaging my head, I was hoping she didn’t puncture a hole on my head top with her thumb).
5. Turning blind. What if one day, we just turn blind due to accidents? Reminds me of a blind girl my friend read to as part of our charity work during college days. (This time, the new trainee was massaging the eyes zone).
6. Would my life be any different if I were half of what I weigh now? It would be awesome.
7. It would be nice to have a visible collar bone. I can’t see mine. Sigh.
8. Jogging around the housing area is so dangerous now. Some couple got mugged along the road near their home during the fuel crisis day. I have a bad knee.
9. I think I should blog this.
10. The grilled chicken wing I had last night was superb! But the price per piece had increased to RM2 from RM1.70!
11. Did I day dream when I was driving here just now? The oncoming cars from the opposite lanes were fast and furious. Sometimes I wonder why they were in such a hurry all the time.
12. How on earth a friend spent RM10k, only having ONE vacation in Tasmania for two weeks??
13. I cringed at the thought of possibility of me snoring out loud while on long haul flight sor long journeys of buses. Must get those breathing aid.
14. Have to copy IC for dad.
15. QQ trying to help changing gears when I was driving him just now. What a naughty kid!
16. Please don’t come in the room now, I am going to fart big time. (while the mask is already on my face for more than 20 minutes)
17. Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson… he’s part Canadian, Samoan.. and… what ah? I don’t remember. He’s so sexy.
18. Should I go window shopping this weekend?
19. Those Kardashians sisters are so damn gorgeous – Kourtney, Kimberly and Khloe. Kendall and Kylie would also be bombshells when they grow up.
20. Should I eat dinner after this session?

Now I know why I have so many dreams at night.

A Bizarre Funeral

I was at a funeral of someone I didn’t know. But somehow, deep down in my heart, I felt I had known this person for years. It was the passing of a great old lady. She was laid in the coffin with such serenity on her face. It looked as if she were merely sleeping peacefully and not dead.

There was a grand carnival at the beautiful garden funeral. Yes, even funerals have themes now. There was a nice, cool fountain in the middle of the garden. There were children and parents chatting and helping themselves with food. If not for the funeral, it would be like a normal weekend of friends gathering for a summer afternoon fiesta, with endless champagne and wine.

When we were about to bid farewell to the old lady by closing of the coffin, I swore to God, I saw her face twitched. I was alarmed but I kept my cool. It must had been my imagination, I thought to myself.

As they were about to close the casket, the old lady suddenly opened her eyes. Everyone gasped. Thinking it would be some sort of reflex from whatever chemicals left in her body, we remained cool.

But we were no longer cool when she began to pick herself up and sat up in her casket. She started to come down from the coffin and everyone ran for their lives.

I kept my cool and told everyone to remain calm. After all, this great old lady could be their own great grandmother, grandmother, great grand aunt, great aunt, mother, god mother, etc. I was frustrated by the people’s reaction.

As I was standing there, pacifying people, the dead-then-alive elderly lady walked towards me with her smiling face. I trembled as she looked at me with her piercing gray eyes.

Then she held my hand. I froze for a moment and she started talking to me.

“Do not be afraid,” she said.

In my subconscious mind, the greedy Chinese in me started to pester me to ask the elderly lady for 4 digits. I wrestled with the idea toying in my mind and struggled to refrain from asking that question for the fear of stirring her wrath.

Seeing me struggling; she was able to read my mind and asked me if I wanted numbers. I didn’t react as I was dumb founded.

She suddenly started to decompose rapidly; turned grayish and strewn into ashes.

I woke up, wiping tears from my eyes, unsure whether they were tears of regret for not asking for the numbers or I was merely traumatized.

30 seconds

I was driving to a friend’s house today. Nearing the traffic light, I cursed at the sight of the road with pot holes. I tried to avoid the uneven road and as I was slowing down, I saw a grayish white figure in one of the small holes.

To my horror, it was a small kitten lying there, barely able to move. To make things worse, the kitten stared aimlessly into my eyes as if he had resigned to the fate of death awaiting him.

I was contemplating whether should I get out from my car, grab the kitten and put it by the pavement. But I stopped in the middle of the 3-lane road. It would be dangerous if a motorbike suddenly came from behind; didn’t see me and knocked me down. Or what if some bastards deliberately planted the kitten there and might car jack or take away my belongings if I were to get down from my car with its engine running.

Time was ticking. It was merely a 30 seconds pause; yet I felt the fleeting moment passed by deliberately slow.

The traffic finally turned green and with a heavy heart, I went on with my journey. I checked my rear mirror and said a silent prayer that no car would run over the kitten.

I could not concentrate on what I was doing after that. Till now, my mind was haunted by the soulless gaze of the kitten. What our life has turned into? We always worry and tend to think too much when it comes to extending a helping hand. In our barbaric society now, our prudence would always supersede our compassion.

What would you do if you were in my situation?

Happy 5th Anniversary, PPS!

I was hurled into the world of blogging by James from Loopymeals. He started a blog for me on my birthday in 2004 in blogspot. That was when I started blogging consistently. At that time, I was a bit discouraged about my job and the situation back at home. Blogging has been therapeutic. I get to lash it out in my own cyberspace as an anonymous person.

Not everything is bad, though. I tend to see my glass as half full than half empty. I decided to write about other stuffs that generate my interests; be it everyday stuffs; the places I have been and share my sheer joy being a glutton, etc.

I need a platform to share my joy, especially the humorous side of me (it can be quite sickening!). Instead of threatening my friends at gun point to read my blog and forcing them to comment; which can be utterly exhausting, James suggested a better and non violent alternative. He told me to register at Project Petaling Street (PPS).

The rest is history.

I was feeling deliriously happy when Aizuddin Danian ping me on my write-up on my trip to Perhentian Islands with the Monk and the demented duo in 2004 (but I only found out some YEARS later – I am such a no0b). I was rewarded by readers with their invaluable comments as well as friendship and enriched by stories shared by friends in my blog. I am glad that I could record this life journey here and share it with the world at large.

I have since change my blog address from blogspot to wordpress to hide myself from the glaring fame that PPS bestowed upon me. (I wish!) Lol!!

Four years had gone since and through PPS, I have met some good friends for keep. Some of whom, I have spoken to for years but yet to meet. (I am supposed to remain anonymous and mysterious, you see!)

It has been a good four years of blogging and thanks to PPS for bringing all of us together – bloggers and non-bloggers alike; to share something invaluable called life.

Happy 5th Anniversary, PPS!

Rotting Alone

As I was eating lunch today, sis mentioned about our colleague, age 37 is getting married this weekend. This 37 year old colleague funnily described herself as an artifact in the museum. Just when she was about to give up hope to get married, she found her boyfriend. She likened herself as being resurrected from the museum and brought back to life.

Our conversation inadvertently redirected to mother in laws, daughter in laws, marrying into other people’s families.

We spoke of my mom’s best friend’s mother in law who insisted that all her daughter-in-laws must cry or preferably wail upon her death in order to show people that, she was well loved when she was alive.

Hearing this, my mom, being her sarcastic self retorted – “She’s dead. Do you think she will know if you don’t cry?”

Lol!

The conversation was then, redirected to me. The phrase “the one that missed the boat” written all over their faces as they looked at me.

Me: Well, since I am not getting married and going to die alone, please remember ah.. as long as you don’t leave my dead body rotting at home, I would be happy enough.

Mom: Even if you die alone – the police will help you. They will act when your neighbours complain about foul smell emitting from your house. So, you have nothing to worry about.

Me:……

I never felt so loved in my entire life. *Sigh*

Bowling Styles

I am typing this with a broken thumb nail due to bowling. One good thing, I realized that I hardly use my right thumb to type except to press the space bar.

This morning, I went for bowling organized by the office sports’ club. I arrived 10 minutes earlier and was greeted by hordes of strangers on all lanes. They were all fully booked.

When I looked at their scores, I was very amazed that, their scores were never short of at least a spare. Look at the scores here of a group of cina peks. I believe they work in pasar borong from the way they behaved, spoke and dressed. I have nothing against people working in pasar borong – my entire family clans are pasar people. So now you know where my samseng-ness came from. Haha!

Here’s the score board of a group of six cinapeks. They even came with their own bowling gear. *Gulp*

Awesome!

As there were hordes of people and the committee didn’t submit our names earlier to the bowling center, we were made to wait for another hour.

While waiting, I watched how all the other patrons bowled and found it quite hilarious. The things people do in order to gain a strike! Damn! They were really, really good! There was a mother with a small toddler, while changing diapers and all, planned her strategy and her scores were not that bad either!

There were some youngsters with the least care in the world and having tattoos all over their arms and necks, and they could bowl with one eye closed and managed a strike.

How did these people do it? They were great!

I began to absorb the scene and scribbled their antics in my idle mind, hoping that I may learn a thing or two from these awesome bowlers!

Cinapek with a bad comb over

Acrobatic cinapek Bowler

The mother bowler

Gaya habis skinny ass youngster with tattoo on his neck

Graceful Gigantic Cinapek Bowler

Ballet Bowler

Well I hope that we would learn from them and strike a turkey!

(I just got to know (from facebook!) that a turkey is a term coined for three strikes in a row. My friend asked, how about four strikes in a row? Donkey? I think probably monkey.. coz people tend to jump like one when they strike a few times in a row).

P/S Forgive the inane scribblings.. they were done with an injured right thumb.

Don’t Mess With Cough Mixture

As I have not fully recovered from cough and it gotten worse yesterday, I decided to take some cough mixture taken from government clinic when I went to sleep last night. It was quite a mistake.

This morning, I woke up, more groggy than usual even with about more than 7 hours of sleep.

I squeezed the facial wash cream onto my toothbrush.

I poured some body lotion and wanted to pat on my face.

Thinking, it couldn’t get any worse, I wore jeans with my uniform blouse.

It’s a good thing the jeans stink, so.. I was awaken by the smell it emitted and realized it before I march out from the house.

I guess tonight I would take half the dosage and go to sleep early.

Now.. let me think.. did I switch off the iron?

Societé – The Shopaholics Café

Deco, taken in September 2006

When I was still in school, Lot 10 and Sungei Wang were my favorite lepak joint. I would meet up with friends on weekend for shopping, chatting and play video games. Whenever I walked past Lot 10, I would give Societé – The Shopaholics Café a miss because it looked expensive then.

Deco, taken in September 2006

Several years later, I was at Lot 10 again with friends and not knowing what to eat, we walked into this restaurant for a meal. There was no turning back since. I wish I had discovered it sooner!

Calamansi with plum, taken in September 2006

Today, I had the pleasure of Carol’s company, an old college friend for lunch. Initially, she suggested Pavillion but I guess the parking is bit too expensive so, I suggested Societé at Lot 10 instead. Parking is at flat rate RM7 on weekends at Lot 10. If you are an Isetan Card Member, and you spent RM100 on accumulated receipts, you get RM5 off your parking ticket.

If I am not mistaken, I noticed the price list for Societé has increased a little and portion was reduced if price stay the same. Check out the picture of the potato skin taken back in 2006 and now, 2008.

Potato Skin, September, 2006

Potato skin, June 2008

Sigh. What to do? This is called inflation. I am glad the quality stays the same though.

Call me boring, but whenever I am at Societé, I would order only four things. The fried tung fun (RM12+), potato skin (RM7+) and lime or calamansi juice (RM6+) and end the scrumptious lunch with a cup of freshly blended cappuccino and biscotti (RM6+). This time round, the waiter wheeled in some cakes. I couldn’t resist the delicious-looking strawberry cake and got to have it! It was proven to be a heavenly choice! It is a small sinful piece, coated with almond flakes and packed with slices of strawberries with creamy vanilla sponge cake.

To-die-for Strawberry cake – Yum!!! *faint*

Fried Tung Fun, September 2006

Fried Tung Fun, June 2008

Well, today’s lunch was on Carol for my belated birthday. Yeah! Super belated! But still, it’s the thoughts that count! Thanks, Carol for the lovely lunch.

Life is All About Relationships

Of all the monthly assemblies we had, last Friday’s was by far the most memorable. Apart from the fact that, most of us united and triumphed over the tyranny of the moronic corporate communication woman who does not have the slightest diplomacy, we had a guest speaker who; in her own words, once an teacher, lifetime a teacher.

This speaker is a humble principal who turned into a corporate woman. She shared with us a story of her late friend who was a “tan sri” and highly respected among his peers in the education industry.

This Tan Sri had a brain tumor complication and he was hospitalized. He was scheduled for an operation and was nervous. A day before he was wheeled into the operating theatre, his wife contacted this speaker and asked her to say some comforting words to her husband. So, this speaker came to his side.

He was in jitters and unable to relax. He worried that he might not make it at all and come out of the operating room alive. As a friend, the speaker was there for him to pacify and calm him down. During the conversations, out of the blue, he asked her, “What is the meaning of life?”

For a moment, she was stunned. She tried to search her mind for a good answer. Before she could answer him, he started talking about relationships he had in this life – with his family, his wife, his friends, his co workers and his neighbours. He particularly recalled very fondly of his childhood friends; the games he played when he was a child.

As she listened on and on, she was surprised that, he never once mention about his struggle in business and all the hard work done to attain tan sri-ship and all other accolades he achieved during his impressive corporate track record. He never once mentioned anything about work.

This is a man of good stature and a man of respect. During such critical and crucial moment – a matter of life and death, he only thought of his relationships with people surrounding him.

He then concluded that, this life is all about relationships. No matter what accolades you might achieved or success you might obtain (which is good for you, congratulations!), if you don’t have family members or good friends to share these moments in life with you, it would be meaningless.

I was impressed by the speaker, a woman from humble beginnings with list of degrees, achievements and accolades under her belt, yet, she merely championed one simple thing in her speech that brings so much meaning to this life.

So friends, please remember. Life is all about relationships. Treasure the people you have with you and be grateful that you have been blessed with so many good people in this life.

Point of View

Chess is an infinitely complex game, which one can play in infinitely numerous and varied ways.
Vladimir Kramnik

(So is Love…)

I went to a friend’s house for dinner yesterday. As we were sitting idly in the living room, half heartedly paying attention to the tv blasting away, we had a small chat over petty things….

Chat #1 – On dating

Friend #1: I don’t like to be alone.

Me: Then you should try internet dating lah….

Friend #1: Nowadays ah… cannot find someone who would date anymore.. most of the guys from the internet, they just want to have sex. Fuck on first dates!

Me: Uhm… I believe you can find someone, perhaps within your circle of friends …

Friends #1: My circle of friends… you guys lah…

Me: Uhm… how about Ah Chong*?

Friends #1: Ah Chong* is in a long term relationship already lah….

Me: How about Ahmad*?

*Names changed to protect the innocent.

Friends #1: I don’t like to eat nasi lemak lah!!!

Me: Wah.. that is one heck of a hot guy!
*Referring to Jarod Smith, Samantha Jones’ boyfriend on Sex & the City.*

Friend #1: I also don’t like Gwai Lou lah.

Me: Very susah lah you.

Chat #2 On marriage

Friend #1: So, do you want to get married?

Friend #2: I supposed so.. one day.

Friend #1: One day.. now.. how old are you now? 37? One day? I think you should start looking for one and start planning already!

Friend #2: Now you are sounding like my mother!!

Friend #1: Seriously lah.. you should…

Me: What about yourself? Your mom never nags you meh?

Friend #1: In fact, she did. It’s annoying lah!

Friend #2: Why must we ever get married anyway? It’s okay to be alone sometimes.. I don’t know.. loneliness in a state of mind lah.

Me: Yeah lah.. must have sex one meh?

Friend #1: Yes yes.. sex is a must… once you start, you can’t stop!

Me: Then, why are you complaining about fucking on first dates?

Friend #2: Hahahahhaha!!!!

Chat # 3 On working in government service

Friend #1: It’s easier to get into government for the ladies. As for men, it would be harder because men are more power hungry.

Me: Some ladies also what!!

Friend #1: But usually, ladies would not make more noise compared to men lah. They are more submissive..

Me: That is a very sexist remark! I don’t think I can take a sexist remark from a gay man! It’s a bit too much for me!

Well, there you have it. Conversations that you might get when you throw a gay man, a straight man (I think) and a straight woman in a dinner meet.