Are You Really Living?

A friend once wrote to me- “Yeah, I wonder why people can live for 30 years alone then when they known someone they become cannot live without the other half? I was like, so how do you live before you two met then? Maybe that wasn’t call living. LOL!”

I agree with him whole heartedly.

When I was young and not to mention foolish, I succumbed myself to this “herd mentality” that I need someone to complete my life. All my friends wanted to find their significant others before end of the college days. They argued, by the time you come out to work, you will have no time to look for your other half. So you better start finding now when you still have a choice! So, they prim and prop themselves up, be a clown, do things that they never thought of doing – mostly unpleasant, etc to get into the mating ritual to find their other halves. Of course, I wasn’t that lucky (maybe), due to my fantastic physical attributes and as if God is playing a prank on me, I took a course whereby 99% of my classmates are females. Maybe God is telling me to be a lesbian.

I am glad I managed to wiggle myself out from this mentality before it causes me more unnecessary heart aches and pains. To end life sufferings, end desires.

Seriously, when we are too engrossed looking for the significant other, many of us fail to live. Some of us even think that, life doesn’t matter anymore when we could not find someone to share it with us. We should just wither and die. Some were so obsessed that they used desperate measures – getting love at other people’s expense – having an affair with people’s husbands or wives, delusional that what they have is called love.

Life is equally good even whether or not you have a special person to share it with. There is so much in this life than to have it revolves around somebody. I guess if I want anything to revolve around somebody, that somebody better be me, myself and I! I know it’s a selfish thought but, in order to make other people feel happy, we first have to be happy ourselves before pouring happiness unto others.

I am not saying you must not look for your significant other. Afterall, nobody wants to die alone in some cheap, small flat in KL. (LOL! Watch Talentime by Yasmin Ahmad!) Look! Please look! But please do not forget to live! For those who have found your better halves, please treat him or her nicely and with utmost respect. You can’t have something as good as a love relationship without putting a lot of effort into it. It’s a wonderful thing but it’s not going to keep going by itself just because it’s wonderful. That person is not forever just because you found that special person. And remember not to neglect the people around you who have played many roles in enriching your life experiences.

Remember to live for yourself first. When you are actually living for yourself one day at a time, you will grow to love yourself more. When you have more love in you, other loves would eventually find you in the end.

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10 Responses to “Are You Really Living?”

  1. takeshi in hk, macau, tokyo, shanghai, london, taiping, balik pulau Says:

    like me, i foudn my other half…i still fren u. such a good example hor?

  2. Wai Ling Says:

    I think I’ve ‘lived’ too fast! Now back in KL enduring the silly politics! :(

  3. Life for Beginners Says:

    I still want to escape from the herd, working on it, in fact. But at least I’ve found my better half and am damn well cherishing what we share. :)

  4. zewt Says:

    well, guess that’s what they call the next phase of life. God didnt design us to live alone. at one point, ppl do find something is missing. that is why they shower their love towards their niece or nephew or one particular friend… generally, a person.

  5. Gina Says:

    Takeshi: Yes.. yes.. I am SOOOOOOOOO…. touched.

    WL: LOL! Life on the fast lane huh? Well, nothing is perfect.

    Kenny dear: :D Isn’t a wonderful feeling?

    zewt: Not really.. can shower love towards animals also mah. Haha!

  6. Ponytail Says:

    Totally agree with you that even when one is in a relationship, they have to put effort to work on it (married or not)…its a life long process :)

    I believe everyone have a purpose in life and there is still happiness and fulfillment whether married or not…

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts ;)

  7. lingzie Says:

    totally agree with you! for some strange reason it is always women for are more ‘kan cheong’ about finding their other halves.
    it is indeed true that we must learn to love ourselves first before we can love others. and i think even after we’ve found our other half, its still important to be in tune with our own self, and not focus too much on the ‘us’ and ‘we’.

  8. Gina Says:

    Ponytail: Yes.. whether married or not, we just make the most of everything we have. :D Now, that’s what we called living.

    lingzie: Right.. I can’t stand it when people need to “ask permission” before going out. Like as if last time when they are single, they have no problems but now, with the other, they have to mengada-ngada and ask permission. Wah lao! Menyampah!

  9. asstha Says:

    reminds me of a time when I was back to the singledom after being in a long term relationship that wasn’t too healthy. i was so eager to jump back on the bandwagon of being in a relationship that it hurt me more than it did me any good.

    guess i was in a “controlled” environment for so long i didn’t know what to do on my own…

    n it was after i stopped looking and learned to live, i found my current beau (with help from a close fren)… i was so focused on me, myself n i dat i was so blind and didn’t see that he was actually hinting to me that he was interested. my close fren had to gimme a knock on the head (she really did dat) onie then i realised she was right.

    hmmm… wonder if i wander offed topic again… well, to cut a long story short… go ahead and live, but don’t close ur eyes to d possibility… love finds you at the weirdest moment… seriously… *cheers* :D

  10. Gina Says:

    asstha: You are not talking off topic. You are merely sharing your experience. :D Yes, I guess so. Appreciate what you have now because it’s not good to take things for granted. I wish you happiness always. :D

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