Size Does Matter?

Guess what I got in my mail this morning? If you think getting junk mails on cialis is bad enough, think again. These p*nis enlargement companies are getting way, WAY desperate!

e-Long? Meaning only virtually long? Haha!

So, girlfriends, don’t tell your boyfriends, size doesn’t matter! You are a liar!

25 cm? That’s an alien’s dick!

Seriously? What is wrong having a “normal” sized p*nis? Can a p*nis grow that long ah?? 25 cm? Then, when have sex, the dick will go up till to the throat lor?? Haha! What would men want a long dick for? Not unless they wanna be in some freak show.

I don’t understand how these people get my address? And I am sure their info is not even complete because I am a female, the last I checked, I don’t have a dick. Can I grow a dick after taking the pills? Haha!

If pills can solve “sizes” miraculously, don’t you think they ought to use such R&D for more terrible diseases instead, like cancer? This is really an utter waste of resources.

Snow Lotus Yeast Enzymes

A colleague recommended this enzyme drink to me for betterment of health after she finds her own health improved tremendously since she started to take it as supplement.

Story has it that there was a man who was terminally ill with cancer. His doctors gave him only a few months to live. Didn’t want to give up, he made his way to Tibet to seek miracle cure. He chanced upon this at a monastery and was nursed back to health, much to everyone’s surprise.

Grateful, he asked for permission for the miracle to be brought back to Malaysia to help other people. The monk in the monastery agreed but only if he could abide to one condition – he must not ask for any monetary contribution or any rewards in kind. He could only dispense and share with others willingly and selflessly. The man agreed.

Hence, Malaysia now has this miracle cure called the Snow Lotus Yeast Enzymes!

I am not very sure on how true the story is but I could share with you a few testimonials from colleagues on the benefit of taking this snow lotus yeast enzymes.

Testimonial #1

A supplier came to office to see a colleague. His face was filled with terrible acne and pimples. He was in dismay and asked my colleague if she knew of any facial products which could help his conditions. He said his own daughter dare not go near him because of the frequent breakouts of pus on his face and all over his body. My colleague said, no, as she didn’t particularly use a special product for her skin. Two months later, the supplier came again to my office and my colleague was very surprised to see tremendous improvement on his skin. There was totally no acne or pimples and his face was radiant and glowing.

When she asked him what miracle product he has been using, he said none. He started to take this enzyme every night before he goes to bed and it cured his skin condition! His mom has been making and partaking this enzyme for the past few months but he didn’t take notice till he was desperate! His sister, who has ovarian cancer stage 2 also taking this enzyme and no longer require surgery as scheduled.

Testimonial #2

My colleague’s sis-in-law has critical stage rheumatoid arthritis for over 20 years. All her fingers are already bent and crooked. She is on perpetual pain. She started to take this enzyme and suddenly her body was filled with boils! She asked if she should continue taking the enzymes. She persevered on and now, all her boils are gone. She felt the pain has subsided tremendously.

Testimonial #3

There’s one Indonesian lady who sells chap fan near our office. She used to have a very nice complexion till one day, her friend sold her a wrong product and her face was filled with acne! She was in dismay for months. Upon seeing this, my colleague shared this enzyme with her, telling her to take it and also perhaps, wash her face with it. Two weeks later, her acne cleared and she was very grateful towards my colleague and offered my colleague free chap fan! But my colleague didn’t want to and said to her, she’s only doing a charity work and do not require anything in return.

Testimonial #4

Long time ago, I had hemorrhoids. Whenever I go to the toilet, there would be rectal bleeding. However, after I’ve taken some Chinese medicine, I managed to stay off it for many years till recently, I began to suffer bouts of constipation again and the bleeding is back. So much for laughing at a friend’s ass. LOL! Karma is a bitch.

Anyway, I went to consult a doctor and the bleeding subsided. However, I was not entirely cured. I put off to seek medical help and decided to try this enzyme given to me by my colleague after hearing so many rave testimonials about it. When I first started to take it irregularly, it didn’t help much. Then, I began to commit myself to take it at least once a day, before sleep. Instead of taking 30ml in one gulp, I mixed it with water and drank. It tastes like apple cider vinegar. It was after I mixed with water, I felt some changes. That night itself, I had to rush to the toilet because of stomach pain. To my horror, the bleeding got worse! I thought I was going to bleed to death! I decided to go see another doctor the next day.

However, in the morning, I went about answering nature call and the bleeding didn’t happen! It was normal. I hesitated to see the doctor and continued to drink the enzymes with water every night. I am already third week into this enzyme thingy and the bleeding has stopped. Thank God! So I am very convinced!

The best part is, you don’t have to pay a lot of money or to a multi-level marketing sharks for this! You can make them on your own. On how to obtain this enzyme, you can check out this blog. It has a very good illustrated step by step to harvest and ferment the enzymes. On how to start to get the snow lotus yeast, well, I got it from my colleague. She got the yeast from the supplier – the one who no longer has a pimply face!  I read that the snow lotus is an endangered species. However, we obtain our enzyme yeasts by fermentation process and the yeast would multiply on its own, if given proper care. So, I believe we didn’t hurt mother nature in the process.

NOT suitable for pregnant ladies.

A Very Important Disclaimer:

The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this web site is for general information purposes only. This blog makes no representation and assumes no responsibility for the accuracy of information contained on or available through this blog, and such information is subject to change without notice. You are encouraged to confirm any information obtained from or through this blog with other sources, and review all information regarding any medical condition or treatment with your physician. NEVER DISREGARD PROFESSIONAL MEDICAL ADVICE OR DELAY SEEKING MEDICAL TREATMENT BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU HAVE READ ON OR ACCESSED THROUGH THIS BLOG.

Office Got Ghosts!

Last Friday, I was waiting for my sister when a colleague told me of her supernatural encounter in office. There are undeniably paranormal activities happening in the office, usually from 7 pm to 7 am.

She said, whenever she works late till around 7 pm, she would hear noises from her boss’ room. When there is no one in there, she heard flipping of papers, rather furiously. Or the blinds would be flapping like crazy as if being blown by strong winds, when no window is ever opened! Sometimes, there would be a sudden whiff of fragrance!

Another colleague is always the first arrive to office around 6.45 am. As he is having coffee and reading newspapers in his cubicle, he would hear noises from the corner room. Sometimes, he could hear the drawers or cupboards opening and shutting angrily. Then, the worst part is the photocopy machine would switch on by itself and moving on its own! We asked him if he saw anybody at the photocopy machine, he said he dare not look at the photocopy machine directly!

A driver was sleeping on a sofa in a room right opposite the pantry and prayers room when he felt something was staring at him. He opened his eyes and saw a woman’s silhouette. He thought she was the HR manager. But on Saturdays, this HR manager is not on duty. He saw the silhouette walked into the prayers room. He got up and walked towards the prayers room to confirm and saw nobody. Actually the HR manager also looked like hantu lah, coz some colleagues gave her a nickname, “Pei Ee” which means ghost in Tamil. And I mistakenly thought, that was her real Chinese name. LOL!

Awhile ago, my colleague shared with me, she was working till after 7 pm and nobody was left in office except her. She heard many footsteps at the corridor next to her cubicle, as if many people were walking all over the place in a hurry! She quickly packed her bags and went home!

My boss too encountered something. As he was the last to leave the office, he had to switch off all lights and closed the door. He was very sure that the entire floor had darkened because he flipped the main switchboard. But then, as he was leaving the office in his car, he looked up and there was light  near my cubicle!! Creepy shit!

I am not sure if I had told you guys this story before. It happened to me, also in this office. I was asked to go back to office one weekend to help out a colleague. It was around 3 pm. I was photocopying some agreements when I heard the blinds rattled like crazy in the store room. A quick check showed that the window to the small room is not even opened! Then, I continued on doing my work when I felt a faint breeze blowing down my neck. My skin crawled instantly and there were goose pimples all over my body. I quickly packed my things and ran downstairs to where my other colleague was and dared not go back to my floor alone!

As I finished writing this, I felt urge to pee. I think it can wait till I go home!

Doing a Favor

I think I should stop being nice to people. Once you are too nice, people would start climbing all over your head.

Our company is going to have an anniversary celebration. The management, having nothing better to do, decides to come up with a bloody lame idea of getting pictures of our staff who has been with us for the past 5 years and beyond to be put in a book as memento for the anniversary. There are like more than 500 staff in West Malaysia alone. Imagine the unnecessary job of collecting latest photos, perhaps from 300 of them who has been working here for the past 5 years. I don’t understand why they even bother to ask us for a passport photo for our access card at the first place. They can use the pictures in the access card, but no. They want current pictures of at least 400kb in size; when all we get is like smaller than twitter thumbnail in the pages.. imagine 300 or more pictures in a book.

Some staff can be such asswipes when it comes to giving latest photos. Some insisted on using their wedding photos taken like 2,000 years ago. So, the HR has no choice but to go around office snapping everybody’s photos in their cubicle. Guess who they want to rope in for the job? Of course, since I am complaining here, it’s me.

Of course, I am not that fucking stupid to agree. Actually, before I even say no, they know they won’t be able to force me into doing something I don’t like. Further, you don’t expect me feeling good taking pictures of the morons in my office, especially those who think they are gods! Instead of taking a photo of them, I would probably throw the camera in their faces.

Okay, having that solved, suddenly a friend whom I never heard from for ages called me up. Also to do favors for him by taking his company’s product photos. People have to understand that I paid almost RM7k for my gear alone and you think I would do things for free now? Hell no – except of course for family members or friends whom I really like and I actually WILLINGLY offer my service. Other than that, sorry. I no longer do favors for free.

P.S. This also applies to people who keep e-mailing me to correct their English grammar. This time, I am going to charge RM10 per e-mail and I will keep a 555 note book for this. Don’t even think of getting away without paying!

Random Notes

Miracles

Awhile ago, I wrote of some misfortunes happening to me. However, it was really a miracle to learn many things happened for a reason. Sometimes when the shit has hit the fan, we thought of the worst, feeling helpless. However, in my case, things turned out to be miraculous. An unfortunate incident eventually turned out to be really great, and led to good things to another unfortunate incident. All I can say is, thank God! And, always leave things in God’s hands. They are the best solutions.

Turbulent Period

Saw this in the news today.

China Press reported the time between Aug 7 and Sept 8 was the most turbulent period this year, especially for those born in the years of the Tiger, Monkey and Snake.

Fortune teller Huang Shi Ling said there should not be any auspicious celebration during the period, which also happened to fall within the Hungry Ghost Festival.

Luckily, Hari Raya falls days after Sept 8!

Signing Online Petition

I’ve been signing a few online petition the past few weeks. Ya.. nothing better to do. Anyway, there is one which I think would need our tremendous support. It’s to free Vui Kong from the death sentence in Singapore for drug trafficking. The petition required 100,000 signature.. and we are short by 79,216. I am petitioner no. 20784.

Stories here, to sign petition here.

Twitter Bandwagon

I’ve joined the twitter bandwagon – solely for one reason. At first, I just wanted to reply to Adam Lambert’s tweets! Haha! But now, I will be following Misha Collins! There’s a #MishaBdayParade special this Friday. You will see the power of fandom in Twitter!