Can You Guess?

As you know, I’ve been on the cheaper deals bandwagon. My favorite website is Groupon. It’s because I don’t need to sign in FB like some other websites which required signing in FB – which is ridiculous!

I usually look at terms and conditions and expiry dates only on Groupons until Jasmine pointed them out the descriptions to me. “Who are their copywriters?? OMG!”

So today, I had a field day reading descriptions. They are super hilarious. I think they are done by lazy copy writers who simply use google translator to translate or they barely passed their English literature in school and having nowhere else to show their powderful England.

So, can you guess what these descriptions are for?

Marine wildlife has been subjects for many cuisines, documentaries and guarding undiscovered lands such as the Bermuda Triangle.

Me think – Subscription to Nat Geo? It’s this.

Until scientists develop a method to increase brain capacity, mankind will continue to suffer from misplaced memories, false déjà vus, and spouse-infuriating forgotten anniversaries.

Me think – Gingko biloba on sale? It’s this.

Counting the number of times a heart skips a beat is as accurate a reading as one will get when attempting to quantify love, despite the insistence of Hollywood flicks and sappy ballads.

Me think – Romantic dinner for two? It’s this.

Unicorns were dishonest stallions that lost their horns when an elf called Dr. Phil convinced them to tell the truth.

Me think – Discounted shrink service? You wouldn’t have guess this!

Traders crossing the Gobi Desert in search of herbs and spices were sprung upon by teeth-bearing bandits threatening death, but carelessly tied up their captives in noodles.

Me think – Erotic dinner (served on naked women) with belly dancers?

Then it continued with ridiculous and more frivolous wordings…

Aqua magnets impervious to fish allergies dive into a bowl of canoodling sang har meen laden with medium-sized prawns measuring up to 200 grams in their respective corners. Swimming all the way from Indonesia only to end up in pots, prawns are flavoured by a light sauté from the oil of their own kind and dressed in egg noodles. A pot of Chinese tea is served to help quench salty thirsts while providing prawns with a habitat more familiar than gastric juices.

WTF??

The best is probably this one…

Sitting on the fence is the best vantage point when trying to obtain the most objective view on an issue, but remaining neutral can be regarded as cowardly and may cause pain between the legs.

Me think – Pap smear test? Get your papsmear here.

Check out Groupons here , if not to buy a voucher, just go for laughs!

PS. I love Groupon by the way! So far, I’ve bought 6 groupons from them!

8 Responses to “Can You Guess?”

  1. Cee Says:

    “As a neighbourhood restaurant, patrons are encouraged to frequent the premises regularly in order to coax the head chef to cook dishes off the menu.”
    wat the…..?!? patrons plak hv to be the factor, not the restaurant comes up with interesting menu for people to patronize their place. geez…..mmg teruk giler their engrish

  2. shorthorse Says:

    …getting a headache trying to decipher the messages….. ;)

  3. renxkyoko Says:

    I’ve used Google Translate, and it’s the worst. From a sentence with 10 words, there’s only one word translated in English. How can there be the word ” urinary” in a romatntic story? ( I tried translating from Vietnamese to English, ha ha. _

    • Gina Says:

      LOL! You obviously don’t watch any porn.. oops.. not that I watch all the time! LOL! Maybe they translate the sentences from God knows what language and we all could have a nice laugh over it!

  4. yuin Says:

    shakespeare is rolling over in his grave..

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