When I heard a friend is attending her ex husband’s wedding, my jaw dropped to the ground. This ex husband of hers, who wanted to sell the house she is living in with her two growing up children and refused to pay alimony despite court orders. Eventually, he sold the house to her. She, a single mom has to fork out money and getting a bank loan to finance the house. She still has to service her car loan and to prepare for college funds for her two children. It made me really angry when the other party refused to help, even though he has a stake in it – his two children.
Somehow, this friend of mine has a really big heart. She forgives him, saying, eventhough he’s an a**hole, he’s still the father of her children. She advised her children to be respectful towards him and let them spend the big festivities like Chinese new year and Christmases with him. The children’s grandmother – paternal side, always hope that one day, her son would get back together with his wife (my friend). Even as she drew her last breath, her last wish was to see them together again.
When the grandmother died, my friend attended her funeral, together with her children, shedding tears and told me, she has been a good mother-in-law to her while she was still alive and she would remember and cherish every kindness that her mother-in-law shown to her while she was still alive.
I have nothing but utmost admiration for her gentle kindness and open hearted-ness. Many of my friends said, I have a big heart – I do give a helping hand, kind to animals and respectful towards the elderly. But I guess I still have a long way to learn, how to forgive and forget, when one was hurt so deeply and yet, stay so graceful and benevolent.