To Love Is To Risk

I have a friend confiding in me that she thinks a guy is interested in her. The catch is, the guy already has a girlfriend but she’s living abroad. The guy told my friend that he’s been having problems with his girlfriend and not sure if he should break it off. She on the other hand has been supportive and lending a listening ear to this guy.

They got along pretty well and started seeing each other. So after a few months of dining and wining, she finally mustered up the courage to ask him where is their "relationship" heading to? Is he going to break up with the girlfriend finally? Or does he has feelings for her as much as she has for him? The guy just kept quiet and didn’t want to comment. So she just let the matter go.. and they continue to see each other.

Last Friday, he asked her out on Valentine’s Day and even booked a table for two at a nice. fancy restaurant. She was telling me – this is it! He’s telling me that he is choosing me!

I asked her how did she know?

She said excitedly, "Isn’t it obvious? It’s Valentine’s Day! And he chose to spend it with me!"

I shook my head and sighed sadly.

"Sorry, my dear. It doesn’t mean he chose to spend the Valentine’s Day with you… he just doesn’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. His girlfriend is overseas. So he’s alone.. and you happen to be around."

Talking about being a wet blanket.

This is a case of having a cake and eat it at the same time.

Of course, I hope that the guy would break off with his girlfriend and chooses to be with my friend, whom I think is a fabulous person. Unfortunately, I was right. The conversation during the supposedly romantic dinner was dry and normal, just like two friends talking about the weather.

I am truly sad for her. I told her, she probably needs to enjoy it while it last. Since he didn’t mention about giving up the girlfriend.. and he’s a foreigner after all.. probably after his stint of work here, he would probably move back to his own country… how are you going to take it then? Are you going to uproot yourself to go with him to prove that you love him? I think you have done whatever you could. You have laid open your heart and soul. It’s up to him to pick them up. Or better still, go find someone else who doesn’t make you an optional choice.

*I don’t know why but this song from Air Supply kept playing in my head now*

"I can wait forever
If you say you’ll be there too
I can wait forever if you will
I know it’s worth it all, to spend my life alone with you"

Love indeed is a tricky thing. If you don’t take risk, you don’t gain. Sometimes it’s too risky you get yourself all bruised and battered. Sometimes some risks are worth to take. I guess it’s better for you to at least experience love and hopefully, love would triumph in the end rather than folding your arms and rejecting chances to embrace it.

“To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To hope is to risk pain.
To try is to risk failure,
but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
- Unknown

6 Responses to “To Love Is To Risk”

  1. shorthorse Says:

    Oh…. If he treats this like a casual relationship… The girl should do likewise, lest she gets hurt ….

  2. unkaleong Says:

    “We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have.”

    I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

    Let our scars fall in love.”
    ― Galway Kinnell

    Nuff said.

  3. sue Says:

    oh i’ve been down that road. obviously he’s just stringing her along, coz like u said, she just happens to be there. ask her to keep her options open, or better still, to stop seeing him. don’t waste time and energy (and love) on such guys.

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