When I was a child, I always wanted to be a teacher. I put “Cikgu” or “Guru” as my first choice of ambition. We were asked this by the school, and would be remarked in our assessment file for record. For three years in a row, I wanted to be a teacher. Haha. Somehow, a twist of fate, I somehow ended as a measly paid secretary in some Chinaman company. I think I should not complain. Life could be worse.. as a teacher. I had a conversation with the boys at home just now over lunch.
Lok Lok: The boy in my school is very naughty. He always kena whacked. So once, he was called to the front of an assembly and go up the stage. Then, he still remained so cheeky and couldn’t stop laughing and muttering to himself. So the principal asked him to keep quiet. He then, made squeaking noises like a mouse. The principal was really angry with him so, she announced to the assembly that she will cane him in public as a warning to all. The boy then shouted, “Please give round of applause to this OLD GRANDMOTHER! This is her show! Clap clap please!”
Mom: Aiyoh.. so naughty. Wah.. I listen also, I want to whack the naughty boy!
Lok Lok: There’s another boy in my class. His name is Huang Ping Kuan but we all call him Huang Ping Kan (Biscuit). He’s also very naughty. When the class teacher said, if your parents smoke… then he shouted, “YOU WILL DIE!!” The teacher ignored him and said, so boys and girls, Smoking is not good for you. If you smoke…… the boy shouted again, “YOU WILL BE CRIPPLED!”
Mom: You see lah.. don’t whack also cannot!
Lok Lok: So one day, the teacher wanted to whack him because he’s disruptive in class. So took out the cane. Then the boy just put out his hand to be whacked. Normally, the teacher will whack his backside. The boy said, “My daddy said cannot whack backside. Have to whack hand only and only this hand. Not the other hand!” But all of us in class remember his dad that day. Just a few months ago, he came to school to collect the RM100 cash aid, so he told the class teacher, she can whack his son – don’t care where and don’t care how many times!! And don’t care where! Just whack! Then, the teacher said, “Since you tell lies, I will whack you 20x!” The boy turned blue and said, “20x?? Then my ass will become blooming flower lor??”. The teacher whacked him good on the backside. He was running all over the place, hiding under the table while the teacher chased him around.
Luckily, I am not a teacher in this era. I will vomit blood man!
Me: Wah.. terrible lah children these days. Quan Quan! You better not behave like that ah! Don’t embarrass yourself and your parents in school! If you do this, I will pusing your ears till they come off!
Me: When I was a child in school, I scored 100% for a test. I should be happy, right? But I was not…. because the thing is, we cannot fall from our grades. So in the next test, we must score 100% or we get whacked. So in the next exam, I got 98% and I got whacked!
Sasha: Your teacher crazy ah???? Get 98% also whack???
Me: Already said mah… can improve but cannot backslide!
Mom: Why didn’t you tell me when you were a kid? I could have gone to school to ask your teacher why?
Me: That’s the difference between children now and children then. When we were children, teachers are THE LAW!
Wow.. Come to think of it, I didn’t tell mom a lot of things in school so she didn’t have to worry about me.. I was such a good kid!