For the Love of God

The past two days, I kept in touch with the really annoying person – my ex boss (Ms Put-Foot-In-The-Mouth) to tell her, there’s a job opening at this prestigious property company. This property company offers good fringe benefits and adequate annual leave and allowances.

Well, to be fair, she maybe socially inept (more like retarded) but she’s generally a good boss. She would give you credit when it’s due and would not purposely give you hard time like one deranged ex boss I encountered. Some bosses would yak nonsense (talking about maids, children, husband, grocery prices, etc) on the phone all day, only to pile work on you right after the office hours just to make your life miserable. May such bosses rot in hell! She also has been complaining to me about her boss who is giving her hard time in office and false promises.

Then, she called me again to check on something before submitting her resume.

She:  I heard the person in the dept I am going to work closely with – is she a relative to the big boss?

Me: Why? I just hear that she’s a nice person to work with. No nonsense. Strict. Straight to the point lah. So no issue one.

She: I heard ah, SHE’s very PINTAI (Cantonese: psychotic) BECAUSE SHE IS UNMARRIED!

Me: @#$%^&*!!!!

She: So is it a 5 working days week ? If it’s 5.5 days, I don’t think I want the job.

Me: Please go to interview then you ask lah. Why ask me?

She: Can lah, please lah, please check for me, ok? please?

Me: Ok ok! I am driving! I will sms you tomorrow.

This morning, I checked for her that, she probably heard the wrong news because the lady in the department is married. So, I sms her.

Me: I heard the person is a nice. She is very professional. She doesn’t mix around with people, maybe that’s why she may look standoff-ish. She comes to office to work only, not to play politics. If you are good, she’s ok with you. And she’s married.

Then I think to myself, this idiot will forever be socially inept if I don’t hammer some common sense into her head. So, I added…

Me: And.. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOT ALL UNMARRIED PEOPLE ARE PINTAI!!!!

She: Thanks for info. Is it 5-day week job?

Hhmmph? No apologies? Not one tiny bit of remorse?

Me: It’s 5.5 days week.

She: Emm. Need to think coz this is a setback for me.

Me: Yes. Please continue to work where you are at now, till 10 pm because you have to accompany your idiotic boss who is afraid of ghosts and always show black face whenever you take leave. Good luck!

That shut her up real good!

I simply couldn’t comprehend why am I subjecting myself to such insult every time I try to have a decent conversation with her! When am I going to learn? I think my niceness is till this level only. I could tolerate no more.

Enough is Enough

I was busy shopping last Tuesday when I received a phone call from my ex boss. Since my phone was running on low battery, the last thing I want is to hear some insults before being cut off. So I hung up on her. A minute later, I felt slightly guilty, so I decided to sms her to inform her that my phone is running low on battery. I was hoping that she would get it and probably don’t call me anymore. Mana tau… she sms me some more.

Her sms, “Can we check incorporation date of a co at CCM website?”

OMFG.

First of all, I’ve left co sec line for like.. 5 years? Secondly, anyone who is net savvy can just ask uncle google to lead them to the CCM website to check. Thirdly, do you think CCM will be giving you information for free? Definitely not! That’s why they came up with computer print outs – so you have to pay to get such information!

I damn malas to layan her. So I didn’t reply. I didn’t even reply till today and I don’t really care!

I still remember the first day she changed her job and she called me frantically to ask me how to use the touchpad in a laptop to move the cursor. Mah fuh lat! Since she sounded rather desperate on the phone, I told her to get a mouse and plug it in lah.

I understand some people are totally not IT literate. If she is in her 50s I would probably forgive her. But she’s only 3 years older than me! It’s a wonder isn’t it? How some morons still can make it up to the top?

Enough said. I think after the kaki bodek episode, I am definitely disassociating myself with her. End of story.

Kaki Bodek

On Thursday, as I was preparing to go out to eat bak kut teh in Jalan Ipoh, my phone rang. It was my ex boss – the Ms Put-A-Foot-In-Her- Mouth.

Ex Boss: Halo! How are you?

Me: Err.. I am good. (What now??)

Ex Boss: Tomorrow are you free? I have this ticket to go to this seminar but I couldn’t make it. So am thinking of letting you go.

Me: Don’t want lah. I need to work.

Ex Boss: Aiyah, it’s FOC one!

Me: FOC or not, I also don’t want to go!

Ex Boss: Why not lah?

Me: Why can’t you go? Since you already registered for it?

Ex Boss: Coz my boss is coming back tomorrow from her holidays. Later if I am gone, she would pissed because no one there to brief her.

Me: Only 2 hours what. Your dept won’t close down lah.

Ex Boss: You don’t know my boss only. She can take 2-3 weeks leave. Go here and there holidays. For me, I take 3 days off during Chinese New Year, she already show color!

Me: So she can take leave but you cannot?

Ex Boss: Yes.

Me: What a moron! Change job lah! Go do Secretary/PA job. Less stressful.

Ex Boss: I don’t know how lah… secretary job.. have to fix appointments.. I don’t know how.

Me: HALO? It’s easier than writing minutes ok! Close eyes also can do lah the job! (On second thought, she’s totally clueless when it comes to internet. She might end up in deep shit if she doesn’t know how to look for info in the internet.. like flight schedule? LOL)

Ex Boss: No lah. I am not pretty mah. Cannot.

Me: But I am one (Thinking: Big mistake!).

Ex Boss: You different mah. You have different types of attractiveness. You have a very sweet mouth. Really know how to cheer people up. ..

Me: ….. Mmmmm (maybe this woman is not totally clueless after all…. )

Ex Boss: ….. and you are a kaki bodek!

Me: Geez! Since when I am a kaki bodek worr? I never bodek people ok!

Ex Boss: You very good at bodeking one lah! You buy me nasi lemak for breakfast what!

Me: HALO! THAT IS NOT BODEK OK! THAT IS SIMPLY BEING NICE!! PLEASE KNOW HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE BODEK AND BEING NICE!

Ex Boss: No lah! It’s bodek!

Me: Ok . I have to go now. I can’t talk!

I hung up.

Wah… I was so fucking furious! Since when being nice is akin to bodek? This ex boss – seriously, she’s considered one of the nicest bosses that I ever worked with. At least, she would give me due credit if I had done a job properly and won’t hog the limelight. I am appalled that, all along, I was being nice to her and she thought I was sucking up to her?

Jesus Christ.

I believe in doing a task given properly, giving my 100%, show commitment (coming to work on weekends when the whole office is empty just to wait for proxy forms – I really hate it when the management like to have their AGMs on Mondays!), taking initiative to design a work flow so I could work efficiently and optimally, preparing documents way ahead of time without being told, etc.

I believe I do not need to suck up to my boss so that she could like me better. I am plainly a very responsible person and I think I am quite likable! Since she was also being nice to me – giving me the credits when it’s due, I was just returning her a favour. I offered to buy her breakfast simply because she likes to try something new. She would also return the favour buying me breakfast as well! I believe that a friendly and happy working environment would produce a productive worker.

I think, it’s the other way round! She’s the one sucking up to me instead! Because I did a great deal to make her work flow much easier! That is why she always wanted me back!

Anyway, I take it as, she’s just a katak di bawah tempurung. Since she hardly mingles around with people – most of her weekends are spent writing minutes while her boss flying all around the world on vacation, she probably misses me and don’t know how to put into words! Haha!

Next time, if she calls me again and complains about her boss, I have only one reply, “DAI SEI!”

Best Employee

I wrote about this ex boss here. Since I am a nice person (ahem!), I still keep in touch with her. About a month ago, she called me to offer me a job. Her immediate boss will be transferred to another department and would let her head her own department. So, she’s very excited to hire her own assistant. She asked me if I am interested to assist her again. I told her, why not? As long as the pay is good, I wouldn’t mind. She said she will let me know and the interview would just be a formality process. She wants me in the department. BADLY.

So, I had sleepless nights thinking of the impending new job.

What will happen to my current boss if I leave? Nobody is indispensable lah, please! Can he hire someone as efficient as me? Don’t flatter yourself! *Vomit* Oh, there go my long hours of sleep and jam-free journey to work! And I don’t even have to drive! You are just one bloody lazy pig! Ah, I will miss my mom’s cooking! Pig! Pig! Pig!

Then, right after my Guilin trip, she called. I haven’t really thought of moving yet. Then, she made me lose sleep for no reason.

“Sorry, I don’t think we can pay you. My company is now having cost cutting. We have to budget. So, I don’t think it’s fair to you.”

“It’s ok!” partly relieved that I don’t have to make decision. She had made it for me.

“So can you help me to find a staff?”

“Ok, I will forward details to my friends.”

“Thanks. I prefer somebody who is UNMARRIED.”

“…….” Speechless.

“SOMEONE LIKE YOU”

@#$%^&*&^%$###!!!!!!

“Why don’t you call our spinster colleague back in the finance institution??” Sarcastic.

“I don’t want her lah. I want someone younger. You know ah, unmarried people easier to deal with lah. No need to take leave because of children or husband. Later children sick lah this and that. I am also married so, I prefer somebody who is not married.”

“…..” fucking speechless.

“Then also someone who can stay back late after work one, don’t mind to stay back. Then, someone who doesn’t play politics. You know someone like you. I hate people who do office politics. If can ah, I sudah hire you lor! I really like you. You fit all  my requirements!”

“Oh yeah? I am the best employee ya? Thank you thank you! I am so honored!” – me thinking aloud. “Ok ok… I better go liao. No battery lah my phone.” Fucking pissed.

“OK thanks ya. You let me know okay if your friends are interested.”

“HELL YA!”

To the hell with her!

I simply don’t understand why she believes that unmarried people don’t have a life?? Being unmarried made a person less human is it? Is being unmarried a cardinal sin is it? That is why she can punish unmarried people by working them to death?

If a person is not allowed to go on leave, then please implement a job without annual leave lah! Or better still, go hire a robot lah! Don’t even need coffee or toilet breaks! Definitely won’t gossip also! Cilakak!

I Am NOT FREE!

Last week was quite a challenging week. I thought I would be in my most jovial mood as I would be relaxing in office since my boss is away.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

Apart from running around again like a headless chicken because things cropped up last minute, an ex Boss called up asking for favours.

She has been calling me almost every other week asking me for things which I had grown feeling a little annoyed and abused.

Ex Boss: Hi, morning. Are you free?

Me: Morning (Shit. What does she wants now??)

Ex Boss: You are free to talk?

Me: I am okay coz my boss is not in mah. (Big mistake!!!!)

Ex Boss: Then ah, can you please help me to check with your friends, how to incorporate a foundation or yayasan? Company limited by guarantee?

Me: @#$%^&* (In my heart)

Ex Boss: Hello??

Me: Err… I don’t think my other ex colleagues did this thing before. Maybe you should check direct with the Companies Commission website.

Ex Boss: Aiyah… since you are so free, can you please get for me the info??

Me: @#$%^&*. I will try but no promises.

Ex Boss: Well, if I ask you for favours, you have everything to gain also. At least you have something new to learn.

Me: YA RIGHT. (In my heart)

Ex Boss: I am still looking for a new job lah. I can’t stand it here.

Me: Then, move on lah. Get yourself registered in jobstreet or jobsDB. I am sure there are lotsa jobs out there for people with good qualifications like you. (AND yeah right– I have to work for you even when I am no longer reporting to you! @#$%^&*)

Ex Boss: Yeah. You are so resourceful. My mom said, ask the fei poh (Cantonese: fatty and she was referring to me) to get me a new job. Ha ha ha!

Me: …………..

Come on. Something is very wrong here.

You are asking me for a favor and you call me FEI POR? No doubt, I am someone who could laugh at my own insecurities and inadequacy, that doesn’t mean that you could do the same. Fat people have feelings too.

After 5 minutes browsing on the internet on the companies commission website, I e-mailed her 25 pages of guidelines to incorporate a company limited by guarantee. Sometimes I don’t understand at this age, some people are still plain ignorant that internet could do wonders.

There won’t be a next time. I swear.

This morning, right after I drafted this, she called again. Speak of the devil.

As soon as I heard her voice, I said, “I AM NOT FREE!” and ended the conversation abruptly.