A friend once wrote to me- “Yeah, I wonder why people can live for 30 years alone then when they known someone they become cannot live without the other half? I was like, so how do you live before you two met then? Maybe that wasn’t call living. LOL!”
I agree with him whole heartedly.
When I was young and not to mention foolish, I succumbed myself to this “herd mentality” that I need someone to complete my life. All my friends wanted to find their significant others before end of the college days. They argued, by the time you come out to work, you will have no time to look for your other half. So you better start finding now when you still have a choice! So, they prim and prop themselves up, be a clown, do things that they never thought of doing – mostly unpleasant, etc to get into the mating ritual to find their other halves. Of course, I wasn’t that lucky (maybe), due to my fantastic physical attributes and as if God is playing a prank on me, I took a course whereby 99% of my classmates are females. Maybe God is telling me to be a lesbian.
I am glad I managed to wiggle myself out from this mentality before it causes me more unnecessary heart aches and pains. To end life sufferings, end desires.
Seriously, when we are too engrossed looking for the significant other, many of us fail to live. Some of us even think that, life doesn’t matter anymore when we could not find someone to share it with us. We should just wither and die. Some were so obsessed that they used desperate measures – getting love at other people’s expense – having an affair with people’s husbands or wives, delusional that what they have is called love.
Life is equally good even whether or not you have a special person to share it with. There is so much in this life than to have it revolves around somebody. I guess if I want anything to revolve around somebody, that somebody better be me, myself and I! I know it’s a selfish thought but, in order to make other people feel happy, we first have to be happy ourselves before pouring happiness unto others.
I am not saying you must not look for your significant other. Afterall, nobody wants to die alone in some cheap, small flat in KL. (LOL! Watch Talentime by Yasmin Ahmad!) Look! Please look! But please do not forget to live! For those who have found your better halves, please treat him or her nicely and with utmost respect. You can’t have something as good as a love relationship without putting a lot of effort into it. It’s a wonderful thing but it’s not going to keep going by itself just because it’s wonderful. That person is not forever just because you found that special person. And remember not to neglect the people around you who have played many roles in enriching your life experiences.
Remember to live for yourself first. When you are actually living for yourself one day at a time, you will grow to love yourself more. When you have more love in you, other loves would eventually find you in the end.