Valentine’s Day is approaching, so is my birthday.
Since this year, I am going to be 32 (yes, you read it right – 32 and not 23 as I hope), a friend commented – better not have any birthday cake this year. It would mean lighting 3 long candles and 2 short ones (Cantonese translated it as – sam cheong leong tuin – meaning, you are done for/ finished/kaput-ed). Muahahaha!
As I was joking with Yuin on how to spend Valentine’s Day, he teased that; most likely I would spend it in church – like how I spent my new year’s eve. Going to church isn’t that bad after all, I guess.. but I doubt it. Got service on V-day one, meh ah?
So, I write down a list of terms and conditions to spend my Valentine’s Day this year:-
1. No church. (Ok lah. I will go on Saturdays when most cute, young guys would be attending or if they serve free food)
2. No restaurants serving mineral water at RM8 per bottle. I boycott any restaurants which do not serve plain water. It’s utterly stupid.
3. No dinners above Rm20 per person. Times are bad lah. We need to brace ourselves for more price hikes in near future, particularly this year!
4. No taking clothes off. I don’t do spa.
5. No singing. I just don’t fancy karaoke.
6. No presents. I don’t want to buy you any presents when it’s your birthday, so please don’t buy me.
7. No booze party – it’s a Thursday!
8. No going to the malls. I think the mall would be littered with lotsa couples going lovey dovey and they sort of reminding me of my celibacy – very sad.
9. No hot restaurants. Hot as in sweaty hot and not dining in a place where there are half naked waiters in hod bods (Do they even have this in Malaysia??) – so I don’t sweat like a pig.
10. No clubbing. So that the trauma of having a midget hitting on me would not repeat.
Okay. I am not fussy. I am just particular. (Eh, sounds familiar huh?)
Yuin said, if I factor all the terms and conditions into one – that would only mean one option.
I said, “STAY HOME!!”
He said, “No… Mamak stall with air cond.”