Cannot, Cannot, Cannot

This week has been a crazy week for me in the office. Here’s a collective funnies and not happened over the week.

I dreaded the thought to follow up on flight itinerary and visa early in the morning and tried to push it till mid day. I didn’t want my day to be spoilt by talking to monkeys shitting-and-pooping in THE travel agency. Yes, THE travel agency is that scary!

Here’s bit of conversation of the day:-

Young Monkey (YM): Gimme your fax number, I will fax to you.

Me: (Wondering – you have been dealing with me for a year and you don’t have my fax number?) Don’t you have a soft copy of the visa form? You can e-mail me.

YM: What is soft copy ah?

Me: ???????? (Speechless)

YM: Soft copy? .. What is that ah?

Me: Sigh. Never mind. Just fax the Indian visa to me. 03-XXX XXX XX

YM: Err… Indian visa to where ah?

Me: *Fuming mad. Not sure whether to laugh or cry* Uhm.. Indian Visa is of course for India lah! Then, China meh????

YM: Oh.. oops.. sorry.

A few minutes later….

YM: Which hotel you will be putting up?

Me: Well, you are the travel agent. Please advise me.

YM: Ah… ….. *Clack….

Left the phone abruptly like she always does. Totally no basic phone etiquettes. Heard she ruffled some papers. Bleak conversation on the background.

YM: Ah… ok.. I put you in Chennai ok?

Me: Eh??? We are flying to New Delhi you know! Not Chennai! Find a hotel in New Delhi!

YM: Oh…. Ok lah…. I will put a hotel in New Delhi.

A few minutes later…

Me: Hello, Old Monkey!* Can you please check if there any other flights back from Bangkok to Kuala Lumpur? It’s better than to be on wait list.

* I wish I could say that!

Old Monkey (OM): No more.. wait for the 4 pm flight.

Me: They reach Bangkok from Islamabad at 6.15 am! You want them to wait till 4 pm??? There are so many other carriers. We don’t necessary take Thai airways.

OM: No, you cannot do that.

Me: Why cannot?

OM: Cannot, cannot, cannot.

Me: Okay. Then please book for me business class, wait list for economy class.

OM: No! You cannot do that!!! Cannot!

Me: Why cannot?

OM: Cannot, cannot, cannot!

And I didn’t make this up!

Well, there were some funny stuffs happening too.

As I returned from bitching to another colleague of the idiotic monkeys infested travel agency….

Colleague: Your boss asks you to book lunch at ABC for 8 people at 12.45 pm.

Me: Ok thanks.

After making the booking, I text my boss, who was in a meeting.

Me: Boss, do you want me to order some dishes for you, so you don’t have to wait?

Boss: Ok.

Me: I ordered 6 dishes and one plate of fruit.

Boss: Ok. Must have prawns.

Me: Yes. I ordered the Kong Lam Har.

Boss: Ok, thanks.

I am now the official menu planner.

In a meeting today, the finance manager requested for a glass of water. Since the tea lady is on medical leave (she was hospitalised due to heart attack – attained from eating nasi lemak, mee goreng, teh tarik, roti canai and other fattening stuffs every freaking morning even though she is a diabetic, hypertensive, has mild heart attack and is on a shoe box filled with tablets and medication), I pulak have to be tea lady for the day.

Boss: Eh? Where is the tea lady?

Me: She is hospitalized. Heart attack.

Manager: AGAIN AH???

Earlier this week…

Finance Manager: Please inform your boss know the meeting is tomorrow at 8.30 am at the Big Boss house.

Me: Ok.

FM: Another thing… the Big Boss wants to eat Wan Tan Mee for breakfast. Ask your boss to ta pao please.

Me: What???? Ta pao??? *Lol*

FM: Yes, that’s right! I also want. Small one, please.

Me: Boss, FM said there is a meeting at the Big Boss house tomorrow morning at 8.30 am.

Boss: Yes, I am aware.

Me: Erm…. She said, the Big Boss wanted to eat Wan Tan Mee. Ask you to ta pao.

Boss: *Chuckles* Wan Tan Mee eh?

Me: Yes. She wants a small serving. *Quickly ran out from his office*

Boss made a phone call to the FM. I couldn’t help but listen to the conversation… since he speaks like a loud speaker.

Boss: Meeting at 8.30 am… ok.. any other.. special assignment….. *chuckles* … ah? Wan Tan Mee? … What is Wan Tan Mee ah?….. The black black one ah?? … with char siew one?….. the one with sui kow? ….. you want how many sui kow?? …. *chuckles*

I think I should write script for “the Office”.

9 thoughts on “Cannot, Cannot, Cannot

  1. Your office is so fun la… got drama and comedy show every now and then. I bet the ppl there are all very excited and happy everyday.

  2. wah lau eh!! the travel agency ppl so blur one!!
    they must make a whole mess of everyone’s travel plans la liddat!
    i sure muntah darah dealing with them…

  3. Hello. If you are the assistant to boss, you should ta pau the Wan Tan Mee and not pass the message.

    And please change the travel agent or get the travel agent to change the staff.

  4. JK: Not really. The people here detest work. They wanna get home without staying too late and didn’t want to do extra for the company and yet, nobody resign – not the good employees though. Only bad employees choose to stay for easy life.

    ml: My office almost everyday drama one.

    Mama BoK: Sometimes, morons do make you feel you are so damn smart. Haha!

    Lingzie: What can we do lah? I have been bearing with it for 2 years.

    asme: No leh.. I didn’t attend the meeting so, I didn’t go all the way to Kajang just to ta pao wan tan mee for the bosses. If he required me to do that, I would have resign long time ago… and… we can’t change the travel agent.. it belongs to the Godfather!

  5. Hey, in the early 1900’s, there was a classification for dullwitted ppl i.e. adults with mental age of 8 – 12 year olds…. here it is….
    Moron : IQ of 51-70, being superior in one degree to
    Imbecile : IQ of 26-50 and superior in two degrees to
    Idiot : IQ of 0-25

    Waddaya think, you think your FM is the Moron, old monkey is the imbecile and young monkey is an idiot????????????

  6. asme: I heard it’s gonna close shop soon!!! Let’s keep our fingers crossed!

    shorthorse: FM is not a moron lah. She is merely conveying msg from the big boss. I think the Godfather is a moron. Hahahhahah! Yes, I agree the old monkey is the imbecile and young monkey is a super idiot.

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