I have been thinking a lot about a special person. I know I shouldn’t. And I thought I have developed an immunity after so many years, but I was wrong.

I still feel much love for this person. I guess we were merely destined to be friends till the end of times. I guess the greatest gift for a person is the ability to respect someone else’s wishes, even if it means yours would be unfulfilled. What we could do, is to feel hurt a little and get on with our lives.

It doesn’t mean we have to hate the other person. It doesn’t mean we were probably indebted to this person in our past lives and hence, we felt so much pain in this lifetime. It doesn’t mean life would not get any better after this.

At this moment, there are still so much in my life I would like to fix – my weight, my relationships, my hair, my ingrown toe nails… etc, I still feel pretty much blessed. I don’t understand why. I just feel liberated.

20 thoughts on “Liberated

  1. Life is about living it. It is not about thinking and reliving the past pains. You feel liberated because you are living life with your travels and your friends. Continue to do so and strive for more. I am sure you will be truly liberated.

  2. My Dear Friend, pls dont stress yourself too much…try to make ur free time occupied, then u wont keep “thinking”… just enjoy ur life. Life so unexpected, at certain stage, all past pains will become meaningless. Do keep in mind, ur friends will always be at ur side just as how u care for us… :-)

  3. Budak Kilang: That is a very sweet and touching thing to say. Thanks. Can’t help it when the mind runs wild. No worries lah. I am too busy to rethink. I am one of the very few blessed people who can still sleep despite being all stressed up. Thank goodness!

  4. I am so happy that you show so much maturity and strength in your outlook towards life. It really takes a special person to be able to take life’s ups and downs and still be contented….. Not many people can do that, I myself find it a challenge sometimes. So Gina, you are a very special person…. Kudos on your liberation!

  5. shorthorse: Gone are the days where I laid on my bed, crying my eye balls out and wished that I did not exist. I still remember you and Fat Dragon took me out to watch a movie (I can’t remember what movie though) and eat pisang goreng and drove around town to chase my blues away! Thank you very much. I will remember this for life.

  6. “I guess the greatest gift for a person is the ability to respect someone else’s wishes, even if it means yours would be unfulfilled.”

    wise words indeed. I find myself in a similar situation not too long ago. and it really echoes my thoughts when you say…
    “I still feel much love for this person. I guess we were merely destined to be friends till the end of times.”

    Learning to love myself is one lesson that I am still struggling to be good at. and yes, it doesn’t mean life would not get better after this! whether or not our life gets any better is entirely up to us! so carpe diem gina! and thank you for this gentle reminder to myself that i too need to ‘carpe diem’! :)

  7. Liberation comes from acceptance, methinks. And from that, an openness for other things, perhaps better things to come.

    And to have friendship in lieu of romance is not a consolation, my dear; it is in itself a kind of love, and a blessing truly.

    Loving ourselves is important, but it doesn’t come overnight either. We’re all still learning and that’s part of the journey. This life. This beautiful life.

  8. like it or not, we have no control over the person we love to love us. give & take will never make up a balanced equation in this case. this is reality… anyway, life goes on and it’sbeautiful if we think it is. cheers! :)

  9. dude, how r u? lol.

    liberated? that sounds well, if u dont know realize, i think u live a life which is of envy to a lot of people including myself, which is a really good thing.

    btw, who is that guy ar? very curious la, tell me la.

  10. Lingzie: I am glad part of excerpts from the entry into my rare personal diary updates inspire you.

    Kenny Mah: Life is beautiful. It depends on how you look at it.

    : :D

    Takeshi: You don’t believe me still? I told you already what. Lol.

    Budak Kilang
    : Hmmph.. Don’t simply plant thoughts to people’s brains! Haha!

  11. I understand your frustration. But I do think it’s a good think to have happened. At least, to me I think it’s a good thing to be able to really experience love at least once – even it is one sided. Than to leave till old age and not knowing what is is all about.

    I dunno why I am saying all this like a hardcore romantic. *feels silly*

  12. Kleio: Yeah worr.. it’s so unlike you to be hard core romantic. Lol!

    Love – a lot of songs written about it, many people died because of it, those still alive are relentlessly pursuing it, some don’t appreciate it, some have too much of it, some have none of it at all. We will never understand… but what we need, is not understanding but to feel it.

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