Same Old Friend

It was in 1998 when I met the Pliot. We hooked up from the popular IRC. That time, I didn’t own a mobile phone. He would call me at my house number. It still amazes me till today how we survived our earlier young adult years without the luxury of a mobile phone.

We got friendly after the first few chats. He was down in the dumps with his so-called girlfriend. She wasn’t really his girlfriend at that point of time; they were going out casually with the girl treating him like a door mat.

I didn’t like to see how he was treated by the so called girlfriend. Even though we just got to know each other briefly, I always believe everyone should be treated with sense of decency. I was there for him to pour out his disgruntle feelings and grief.

I couldn’t remember where we went during our first meeting. But I remember I got this short layered hair, face full of pimples though I was 20 kgs lighter at that point of time. I was very self conscious. I knew from experience that no one would want to see me again after meeting me, even with my gregarious and fun persona online and in reality. Well, it’s their loss actually. I am glad he called me again after our meeting.

He would call me before his flight and when he came back from his duty. It’s like a round-the-clock thingy. Common friends who got to know him later would check with me before they organize any outings. We had a blast. The endless clubbing and playing pool, foosball, dancing, mamak till morning, short trips, booze parties, crashing people’s parties, how he met my other friends for the first time in shorts in Bravo (Hahaha! We just went to a friend’s place for swimming) etc. I developed a major crush on him. Well, it bound to happen if we keep spending enormous amount of time with a particular person, no matter how hard we control ourselves.

Things turned to slow down when the so-called girlfriend came back to him. That time, they were already serious as he did not forget her and was longing for her all these while. During his absence, I plod along this life, gaining new friends along the way and started working permanently. After awhile, I got a call at 3 am from him, saying he did the worse thing that one could have done. He betrayed her with another woman.

After a few frantic pacifying calls and a few weeks trying to redeem himself, he announced that they were getting married. I attended the wedding. Deep down in my heart, I knew it wouldn’t last but I held my peace and prayed my instincts were wrong.

Unfortunately, my instincts were right. The union lasted merely 2 years (more like 6 months of normalcy, and 18 months of hell) with 2 children, excessive emotional baggage, which led to a very ugly divorce.

10 years ago, as we were laying idle basking in the hot sun in Port Dickson with the least of care and worry, who would have thought all these unhappy things would happen.

Today, as we sat at Dome, reminiscing the good old time; I noticed we have both grown so much. I’ve outgrown my silliness, hot temperamental, self consciousness and developed better self control. He, despite having to go through such difficult divorce, is taking everything in his stride. He is still as flirty as ever and how I miss that sharp sarcasm wit.

We talked about his children and mine (those trolls my mom baby sits), bitching about our common friends, politics, share market, mortgages and family. I sincerely pray that things would get better after this for him. I hope he could still find the same old friend in me, as he always has, and how he has been the same old friend to me.

13 thoughts on “Same Old Friend

  1. Why are we always the best friend.. and never the girl friend hor..??? the understanding one.. ?? I DONCH WANNA BE UNDERSTANDING..!!! I WANNA BE IN HIS PANTS..!! ok.. ok.. just joking.. muahhaha!!

  2. hahahaha i saw mamabok’s comment and i so agree! (the ‘why we always the best friend’ part) i have written similar lines in my diary lamenting why i’m always the understanding best friend and not the girlfriend.

    hope you and your friend can get your friendship back on track. but don’t always be the understanding best friend. sometimes you need to be the star of your own show, not be someone else’s supporting actress. :)

  3. Mama BoK: Yeah lah. But at least you got lucky – married and then migrated to Canada some more. Haha!

    ryuu: Sudah lama tak jiwang.. have to jiwang a bit today. Haha!

    Lingzie: Fuyoh. I like the way you put it. Yeah.. no more supporting actress role from now onwards. Hahah! What to do, it seems I have been destined to be supporting actress the rest of my life.

    JK: I never thought so highly of myself before. Deserve or don’t deserve, seriously, it’s not up to us to say, sometimes.

  4. Sob sob, u still hv feelings for him? maybe you should tell him? but perhaps preservation of friendship is more important at this stage, esp if there is no sign of settling down. all the best…

  5. each catch up with old friend will make us realize how things are changing over time but certain things within a person will still be the same.

  6. Zing: Never read this post properly ah? Hahahha! I said, I have better self control now. Hahahha! No lah. So many years already and it was merely a crush. I always have a certain kind of fondness for people that do not translate into “having feelings for him”.

    ml: Yes, pretty much the same. I guess that certain character is the very reason that makes you attracted to him or her at the first place.

  7. i agree with Lingzie… you are the star of your own show… you decide whether you want to be a supporting actress or the lead role in your life… love yourself even more darling… i know u already do but mayb jz mayb you can still go an extra mile for yourself… ;)

    i think the most beautiful thing with a friendship is, wen life takes us at crossroads.. we try not to hold on to each other cos the roads we travel may b different… jz let it go… and wen u meet back the the end of the road and find that even tho you’ve not been in close contact for x amount of years… wen u’re plodding down the same path.. the years jz melt away n it seems like only yesterday you saw them even tho life may hv changed them but the initial thing that clicked is still there…

    i hv two of such frens in my life and i’m so grateful for hving them back as we move along together down the same path until life hits us with another fork in the road and we may hv to part but we know wen our paths meet our friendship is still d same as ever… let’s jz home i din digress =.=

  8. That’s such a sweet post. Hope everything’s well back home. :)

    Do you realise that we have known each other for almost 10 years as well? So when are you going to write a post about me? haha

  9. ThatJames: Ain’t love grand? Lol!

    asstha: Yes. I get what you mean. I guess I have come to a certain point of my life that I have always been reminding myself to expect less and accept things I cannot change.

    Kat; Got what! I got write about you! Here!

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