A conversation yesterday…
Ann: and if i’m dead, please buy me sunflowers
Ann: cilakak Ann…die already also make sure ppl give her expensive flowers
Gina: yes lah
Gina: as if you can see
Gina: itu mata sudah tutup lah
Ann: then u buy bunga tahi ayam
Gina: no need to buy also
Gina: tanam also can
Gina: then you will smell of tahi ayam
Gina: all throughout the year
Ann: ini nak kena penampar ni
This chat reminded me of a story my mom told me of her friend’s mother-in-law. Her friend complained about the MIL being one helluva “Empress Dowager”. By saying that, you know this woman wouldn’t want any other ways when she sets her mind onto something. Everyone has to listen to her and do according to her way.
So, this MIL proudly dictated that, all her daughters-in-laws must wail and cry during her funeral to show that, she (the MIL) was being loved and cherished when she was still alive and she would be sadly missed.
My mother couldn’t help but retorted, “When she dies, she cannot see also. You think she would get up and shout at you to cry when she is laid dead in the coffin?”
I laughed so hard till my stomach hurts.
Then, I was told of a story that this woman who washed the boyfriend’s clothings and cooked for the family even when she was not married to him. When she finally married the man, she refused to care for her ailing father-in-law and insisted that he be put in an old folks’ home. When the father-in-law passed away, the daughter-in-law wailed and cried as if the old man was her own father. Damn wayang! I damn kao tulan these type of people!! So fucking hypocrites!
I also knew of a family who mistreat their own grandmother. She was rationed on her food. Imagine, she could only take 2 crackers or a slice of bread with kopi O in the morning, then a small bowl of rice and dishes for lunch and dinner. Sometimes, she would go hungry at night. She was not allowed also to sit together to have a meal with the family as the daughter-in-law claimed that, she might carried some old person’s diseases that would spread to the granddaughters. Very bad chi. You lah! Very bad chi bai! Fuck you! This is your mother-in-law for Christ’s sake! The woman that gave birth to the husband whom you married and fucked! Tiu nia sing!
When the poor old woman died, they were bathing and clothing her. The terrible daughter-in-law tried to put on the shoes on the old lady’s feet but the shoes simply won’t fit. She kept on trying to no avail. Then, upon seeing this, my fourth aunt, who is also one of the daughters-in-laws, knew what to do and she volunteered to help.
She went close to the dead old woman and spoke softly and coaxed her. Telling her, instead of the bitchy daughter-in-law, she would be the one to put the shoes on her. Strange but true, the shoes fitted nicely without any fuss.
The mean daughter-in-law cooked all the old lady’s favorite dishes in abundance and also, put a generous spread as offering for the dead old lady (and also to wayang to us lah!). Well, when she’s alive, you don’t even want her to sit together with you for a meal, but why now? WHY? WHY?? CCB! I want to see how the future daughter-in-law will treat her when she is old!
Seriously, if you want people to love and cherish you, please stop being an asshole or a bitch. And also, if you sincerely want to let your friends or family members know that you love them very much, I guess the best times to do is when they are still alive and kicking because when they are dead, it would be too late.