The Bloated Cadaver That Travels

Yesterday, after work, I went home, showered, then, blew dry my hair, put on some make up to go take picture for passport.

I went to the first shop. Kodak in Selayang. The young salesgirl didn’t even bother to layan me and menggatal with a guy who came to photocopy some stuffs. I walked into the shop to find another salesgirl looking into the computer, clicking away slowly while playing with a stray kitten. There were three customers standing there and waiting for something, looking somewhat pissed. The two girls had the cheek to let the customers standing there like idiots and never layan us.

So I asked if they do take passport photo. The girl who tengah menggatal with the guy asked me to go into the studio. I walked to the studio but waited outside for her to go in first. Awhile later, much to my dismay, she came in with a small compact camera and took two shots of me. I could see from the way she held the camera in addition to the way she asked me to pose and the way my eyes were not parallel to the camera, I know I am going to get one weird picture, even without looking at the outcome.

It was a lucky thing that she let me see the photos first before printing. Both pictures were terrible! I looked as if I am leaning against the blue platform and staring down at something. So, I demanded to take another picture.

She asked me to go into the studio again.. so I waited and waited, contemplating if I could just walked out from the shop. The girl who took my photo was serving the customers who waited quite awhile, I could see from their tulan faces. The other girl who was playing with cat (still!) was in the world of her own. She was totally oblivious of what’s happening in the shop. She didn’t even look up at the counter as she was clicking away on the computer as if she were high on drugs with one hand and the other hand stroking a stray cat placed on her table. Jesus Christ!

Then I got fed up and said, “Sorry. I don’t think I want to take passport pics anymore” and walked off.

I drove to Selayang Capitol, where I used to develop photos. I went to this Fuji shop. The lady boss greeted me promptly. Then, she asked me to go to the back of the shop to take picture. I was thinking, good.. finally my passport photo would be in good hands. I walked towards the back of the shop to the “studio”.

Mana tau ah… aiyoh mah! The salesgirl slid out a door with blue background and placed a stool in front of the door. She then asked me to sit with my back facing the sliding door. I almost pengsan! No studio flash or whatsoever! I was sitting there like a bloody idiot, in view of a lot of people in the shop, the girl took picture of me using a small compact camera (again!!!).. even more chekai than my old ixus! Above all things, she used FLASH from the compact camera. Shit!! I have a bad feeling that this would turned out to be even worse than the first shop.

Needless to say when the pics came out… omifuckingod! Since I know I am not a good looking person and no matter how I pose also, I still would not look good, I gave up. I resigned to my fate that I look like some middle aged aunty, going to China to buy fake Louis Vuittons. Or worse, like a bloody bloated cadaver.

I was so upset. Then I went to ta pao some wan tan mee for dinner to cheer myself up (Actually, I don’t know what is wrong with me but I have been having cravings for wan tan mee for the past few weeks!)

In between bites of the noodles, char siew and wan tan, I suddenly remembered I took passport photographs of myself when I lost my IC and driving license two years ago. I said a silent prayer and hope I could find the soft copy!

After eating wan tan mee, I ran upstairs to search for the CD and hallelujah!!!! I found it! I took that to another shop to develop.

Then only I realized that I went to the wrong shops to take photograph. I was supposed to go to this Fotoland, which was two shoplots away from the Kodak (where the two moronic girls – one playing with cat and one menggatal at the photocopy machine work). And they don’t use a compact camera (what rubbish! please lah!!)! They used a proper digital SLR with proper studio lighting. So, you don’t end up having a mug shot as passport photograph.

The moral of the story is, please get passport photographs taken when you have the best hair day and wear some make up. Also ensure that your eye brows are tweezed. It sure makes a hell lot of difference! I wouldn’t want my 5 year passport picture looking like some bloated cadaver!

14 thoughts on “The Bloated Cadaver That Travels

  1. I haven’t heard “tulan” for ages! I was laughing. My best friend used to use that word all the time when we were still at secondary school.

    I recalled paying A$12 for 4 passport photos and I ended up throwing them away. They looked disgusting ugly.

    What did you use for the ROyal Blue background? For those photo you took for the IC and driver licence.

    I reckon it’s possible to take the passport photo by ourselves, just that blue background is a bit susah. Still thinking what to use. Manila card is not big enough.

  2. Haha..kesian.. Next time use webcam take. Lovely. :P Yes, definitely take the pic when you feel you’re the best looking. And backup, backup backup! :P

    I miss my Wantan Mee too!!

  3. Ai Shiang: Hahah! I remember there was a friend who wanna learn hokkien from my sis. She ended saying tulan – LAN TU. We laughed like shit nia!

    Eh.. I think you can change background color by using photoshop lah. Don’t ask me how lah coz I don’t have photoshop but it can be done. You take your own pic on a white wall, the use photoshop to change the background color. :D

    inaesb: Hey, dude. Where have you been lah? I think I should start taking own passport pic, then learn how to use the bloody photoshop. Haha.

  4. Really? Can change background colour in Photoshop? Sien, I didn’t know. I don’t have Photoshop as well. Now I feel like I’m a katak dibawah tempurung. Thanks for mentioning that, I’m going to find out.

  5. still got shops using compact camera to take passport photos meh? never see…. but yes, no idea why ID photos always look like shit. must be some murphy’s law or some karma. lol.

  6. Ai Shiang: Actually someone told me I could just take my own photo and get it photoshopped. So you can try it. :D

    jasmine: Got ah… here some more in KL, a big city. Most ID photos are terrible.. but got some nice ones also lah. Haha! This year later, when my hair is nicer, I will go take another passport pic, just in case.

  7. wah, baca also I get tulan wor…..the type of services we get nowadays, it’s really going down the drain. I notice especially when got shops manned by this ‘ah lians’ all ah….alot of time thy very blur case one….different unless the boss is around lah.

    Last year my sis also got her passport photos done in Pyramid and guess what??…..same thing lah, the shop used a normal camera and only stand in front of some blue paper….no lights, no proper setup. Sigh really miss the good ole way….lucky in Taiping they still do that and we’ll get a better end result plus it’s way cheaper too.

  8. aitelyu, my pic and garmen docs don’t go well together. You think passport bad. Wait till you get a bad pic on your IC! For life ok. I look like I took a deep drag on a joint on both my passport and IC pics.

    I’d recommend Fotozoom down in SS2 next to Savemart. Used to work there during my college break;)

  9. Cee: This shop is not manned by Ah Lian lah.. it’s some minah who wore make up tebal. LOL! Yeah.. I missed those days when serious photographers take our passport pics – the ones in Taiping. They take at least a good 5 minutes to adjust your head and shoulders and hair and all before snapping it for real. Haha! Those days gone liao.

    unkaleong: LOL! You think my IC look very nice meh? I look like I am anaemic. Not enough blood. Some more I did the IC after I attended a friend’s funeral. So imagine.. in the sun walking liao, with hair like shit, eyes bengkak from crying..then went to NRD to get my IC done. LOL! Too far lah SS2. Selayang – Fotoland is good. :D Thanks for the tip, anyway!

  10. humph…..gatal #1, org suruh keje….mengorat plak.

    still do, the Public photo studio tats y I still go back to take my pics. Remember ah there will be huge mirror…and thy’ll also provide powder comb & jacket…hehehe….for those last minute adjustments, good ole Taiping :D But incase of emergency, then terpaksa do in KL lor

  11. Ahahaha… if you take pictures at the photo booths at immigration lagi teruk…you feel like cattle being herded in for photo shoot & out to collect photo…. they really don’t care if you look good or not… If you complain the pic is not nice… I think not only d photo booth personnel will be pissed off….. the ppl waiting in line will put in their fair share of words for holding them up …. sigh ~ this is the situation when demand exceeds supply…

    Oh well ~ a bloated cadaver that travels … now that’s something worth seeing…!!!

  12. Cee: The girl tengah menggatal already when I reached the shop, with 3 other customers looking tulan. LOL! Keep those nice nice pics lah. For emergency use. If very nice looking, maybe keep more copies, so no need to take again in the future. Hehe! In my case, it really helped!

    shorthorse: The one I took at Wilayah Complex (2x!) is good enough. Haha. But learn from past mistakes. This time I was prepared with good pictures, photocopy of IC.

    Yes yes… beware of the flying cadaver! LOL!

  13. Nowadays, I think most of the shops use compact camera to take passport photos and they use a normal inkjet printer to print the photos. That’s my experience (even in some camera shops inside KLCC).

    Pay a premium price for such facilities… that’s life!

    BTW Gina, I linked your blog in my photoblog. Thanks for being a supporter to mine. Appreciate it.

  14. Edmund: Got ah.. there is one shop in Selayang with big ass camera and big ass flash… and take reasonably good photos and it’s same price Rm12 for 4 and give you the soft copy in form of CD. :D

    Don’t be so “hak hey” lah! Your blog is a pleasure to read! And there are so many things to learn about photography in your blog. I find one day to pimp your blog. :D

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