I was watching a repeat of “The Heartbreak Kid” on HBO on Friday night. I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why men always don’t want to be the “bad” one in breaking up a relationship?”
In this movie, you have Ben Stiller trying to break up with his newlywed wife when he found out that he couldn’t get along with her (secondary reason) and of course, he met another terrific girl during his honey moon (main reason). He gave all kinds of reasons not to be with his wife – she should take the job in Rotterdam, he’s not a very nice guy to be with, there is nothing wrong with her, it’s all him, blah blah blah! And he couldn’t simply tell her – Sorry, but I just don’t love you anymore.
Then I thought of a friend who is getting married end of this year. He’s getting married not because he wants to. He’s getting married because his girlfriend is pregnant with his child.
He said he tried to get rid of the girlfriend in many ways but could not. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that it’s over. He is really a jerk and he even let her wait for him for 3 hours a few times for a date. He tried very hard to be as aloof and as irresponsible as possible in hope that, the girlfriend would think he’s a douche bag so she would leave him. The poor girl, even after being stood up for 3 hours, was not even angry at him and even tried to be nicer to him, and asked him what did she do wrong to upset him?
I told him, he must be damn lucky to have a girl who loves him that much and so blindly! He should treat her with utmost respect and love her in return!
Is it very hard for men/women to open your mouth to tell the person, “It’s over!”
I think it’s very cruel to drop hints, in order to “save face” or to minimize hurt by “direct” approach. I think as adults, it’s better to talk things over, to see if the issues affecting the relationship can be solved, giving it some time, etc. Seriously, if your guy or girl promised to do something for the better and if the promise was made some 10 years ago or so, believe me, they never will. It would always remain an empty promise.
If all these fail to save the relationship, then by all means proceed to splitville.
It’s better to get out than being stuck in a loveless relationship. It’s not good to let one hanging by the thread every day, creating false sense of hope for the relationship and being totally delusional. It’s more practical to let the person know that you don’t love him/her anymore and move on.