A Toast to Women

I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. – Rebecca West

A few months ago, a friend just got divorced from her husband of almost 15 years. They have been high school sweet hearts and got married right after Form 5. She lived together with the husband’s family as they were still young and did not have the means to finance themselves.

Driven by love, she tried her best to keep the relationship alive. She was hardworking to make ends meet as the husband was still pursuing his studies. Eventually, they moved out from the family house when she managed to get a place on her own.

Instead of feeling thankful, he had such a wonderful wife, he took her for granted. He would gamble away all her money, sweet talk her to giving him more money for his follies. Eventually, she ran into heavy debts due to her husband’s gambling behavior. When she’s already at wits ends, holding so many jobs to pay off his debts, the idiot left her and disappeared with her belongings and emptied out their shared account. He was gone for five years.

Since she still loves him, she waited for his return. She was always sad and depressed. She has the kindest soul, and would never hesitate to help her friends if they are in need. But, she would refused if friends trying to lend her a hand. Over the years, she began to realize how foolish she was to have given up her youth and time for a man who never appreciated her. She eventually filed for divorce.

I read an interesting article from Chinese Chic which stated:

“Furthermore, a study I read about last month showed that men have less ability to feel remorse and regret for what they do (confirming my long held belief from life experience that men have less compassion/empathy GENERALLY (not saying every single male species or even a majority but just comparatively as against women). The study in the paper showed that men tend to feel guilt only towards themselves (selfish!) as opposed to women whom tended to feel guilt and care about how their actions hurt other ppl’s feelings.”

Having read that, I agreed that not all men are like that. I guess it takes time to see what a person truly becomes when the going gets tough. In any relationship, apart from love, one should also have trust and respect for each other. Otherwise, it would be too exhausting.

Here’s toasting to women who had been through against all odds and emerged triumphant in the end.

My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment. – Oprah Winfrey

4 thoughts on “A Toast to Women

  1. I love your beginning quote..i’ve often felt that the word ‘feminist’ has become a dirty word in the West, almost like a negative thing, when all it means is someone whom believes in acceptable equality between the sexes. I’ve also heard of many women with men whom dun appreciate them. Just see the scandals of famous ppl whom have affairs with younger, prettier girls even though their wives have been with them when they were still poor/unknown..Jack Neo, another example. So sick and tired of this, it seems men are not like women generally, they cannot appreciate sacrifices, only take for granted. Another case, i heard, this malaysian pastor o-young something, quite famous a couple yrs bck, he and his wife went to states, she worked in chinatown restaurants,etc to fund his phd in theology or something for many yrs, later he came out as gay (!) and with a latino bf, and she’s left in the cold again, tho they supposedly still have good relationships..just goes to show, sacrificing ur own career/dreams for the man you love is simply not worth it (in general terms, looking at men’s track record!).

  2. Jz goes to show that we woman have got to learn how to look out for No. 1… ourselves… and take a page from the men’s book and learn 2 b a bit selfish sometimes… reminds me of my own predicament… *sighs*… Here’s to the women of the world…

  3. hcpen: Yeah.. and that Jack Neo plans to capitalize his affairs by coming up with a movie with his “confessions”. I tell you.. it’s really a bad after taste! It’s already hard to find someone genuine enough to love and now, with all the stories, it makes hesitate even more. Well, I think we need to learn to give and take. But, don’t be the giver all the time because they won’t appreciate you!

    Cee: A toast to sisterhood!

    asstha: The good thing is, at least you came out of this ALIVE and move on with your life! This is already something ought to be celebrated!

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