Office Clowns

The Tikus

I went to the pantry this morning to make my usual cup of Neslo when I overheard the Tikus talking.

“Saya sudah tak makan nasi. Dah satu minggu dah. Satu badan lemah macam tak ada tenaga. Pergi hospital, doctor kata, kena masuk wad. Saya cakap saya tak nak! Saya tak suka. Nanti kena cucuk jarum sana sini, sakit betul lah. Saya tak tau lah. Apa nak buat? Sudah tak minum susu sejat pun. Nescafé pun saya tak minum dah. Doctor cakap jangan minum kafein. Nescafé banyak kafein tau. Saya beli Nescafé Gold. Tapi tak sedap. Dah satu tahun dah saya tak minum minuman manis.”

I withheld my laughter until I got out from the pantry. She must have forgotten about the 10 mooncakes she stashed away to bring home for herself during Mooncake festival last year. Maybe she’s delusional that the mooncakes are sugarless and yolk-less. She doesn’t eat rice one week before her check up and she believes that it would lower her sugar level. Every morning, without fail, I would see her having breakfast of nasi lemak or lontong or mee hoon goreng. She would wash it all down with a jug of teh tarik ais. Don’t say that you have skipped taking sweet things for one whole year. My eyes are watching you!!

Powderful England

Usually, I would check all the minutes (for grammar!) before passing them to my boss for signature, with the exception of the HR minutes. Sometimes, there are a lot of sensitive things inside which I think it’s best not to know too much. After all, the person who wrote the minute speaks Queen’s English! When the person got transferred, she handed the job to a new executive. Thinking that the executive graduated from New Zealand, I took it for granted. It was when my boss threw the minute out and asked to do amendments, I was very shocked to read the minutes. Just for fun, I would throw in a sentence for you to laugh at:-

3 Staff handbooks about finance factor are required. The 3 company will ABC, DEF or GHI for Company to pick only the good terms and conditions to compile as final handbook and transit all in Malay from English.

Catch no ball? LOL!

The best part is, when I amended the minutes and told her, I would e-mail her the soft copy for her reference, she got annoyed and asked me, why did I amend her minutes? I told her, her “England” is too “powderful” that I need to tone it down. I wonder if she gets my sarcasm.


Everybody in the world knows what is BTW. Ok.. maybe not. A fellow colleague thought BTW means between you and me. So she has been using between instead of BTW in her e-mails.

Between, Anne can you please let me know your decision?

LOL! Moron!!!


A fellow colleague looked somewhat like the character in Avatar. He’s tall, skinny with long limbs minus the hair with “USB port”, blue skin and long ears.

When he requested for approval to buy air tickets, I forwarded his request to the HR to make arrangement. Then, I wrote – Please arrange flight tickets for Avatar. The HR girl rolled on the floor laughing!

There’s never a dull moment in this office, I tell ya!

8 thoughts on “Office Clowns

  1. :)

    “BTW” big caps and “btw” small caps have different meanings. Often used in quick notes.

    I guess it is just used in different context. I hv used both, but yes, I do acknowledge the difference. :P

  2. lingzie: Yes.. luckily my boss is not in when I got the e-mail.. otherwise, he must have thought I’ve been possessed for laughing hysterically.

    Tony: I think most of the people here are Chinese educated… I have friends who are Chinese educated and their command of English is even better than mine! So, no excuses! I think she direct translated her understanding from Mandarin to English… “The employee got color blind”. LOL!

    zing: Yes. I also use btw when I write Agreement between A and B.. so I put in my notes, JV btw A&B. But her understanding of BTW memang koyak.. some more she go spell it ALL OUT. Hahhahaha!

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