Year End Budget

I guess most of us always find it difficult to budget. We may budget, but spending money can be real fun and before we know it, we are again broke before the end of the month!

For the past few months, my family has been plagued with some serious budget problems. The house we are staying in decided to boycott us by having a leak on the roof, the leak in the bathroom and cracks appearing at some corners of the house. Can’t blame the house. It has been our faithful protector and shelter for the past 20 years.

To add more bruises to our already injured pocket, we bumped into a con man. Apparently, our neighbour’s worker was a new employee. I said WAS because he ran away with our money and also his boss’ money!

We didn’t know about it, till he decided to abscond with some money after painting our house half way. He only got the base coat done and my mom was duped into believing he has finished his job and paid him Rm2,000 for the paint and work. I’ve told my mom the job was not completed because he merely painted a base coat but she refused to listen! Jesus. I hope I am not THAT obstinate when I am old!

She thought this guy – Ah Weng is God sent! At some point of time, she even considered introducing him a woman because he’s divorced with two children. Man, thinking about this makes my blood boil! Mom can be too trusting at times. I should have taken his pic and plastered it here so that you people will be aware of this bloody fucker con man.

We realized that we have been conned when my neighbour’s wife dropped by my house and complained about him. Ah Weng also disappeared with their money and refused to answer phone calls. It was then only my mom and aunt realized that they have trusted the wrong person.

We cursed the new neighbor because he’s an asshole for not informing us earlier that he’s not their lou for kei (old worker) and we should be careful of him!

So I guess, I will cut down spending on myself for next year and focus more on the family. Have to save! Save! And save! Hope for more bonus next year!

Smelly Friday

I came to work this morning, thinking it would just be another ordinary Friday in the office. I made a mug of Neslo and headed back to my cubicle. I had my breakfast and reading news online till the clock hit 8.30 am.

I went about my business for about an hour, I received a phone call from my colleague.

“Hey! I believe you owe me a story this morning!”

“What story?”

“Somebody shat in the photocopy room at your floor!”

“Crap! How come I didn’t know! I’ll be right back! Going to find out NOW!”

I went to the photocopy machine room to snoop. I didn’t want to get too near because I worry it stinks.

Tikus told me that, this morning, as she was going into the photocopy room to put her bag, a strong, pungent stench filled her nostrils that she almost vomited. Then she saw a packet of “stuff” on the carpeted floor, covered by crumpled paper. She lifted the paper from covering the pile with her foot and saw a humongous pile of human feces!


We had a CSI moment in the office. The Admin checked the access point and found only three colleagues went home late last night. The thing is, these three colleagues – one is a pregnant mom, one is the head of contracts dept and one is the IT guy. It is very unlikely that they would do it.

We suspect that it had to do with the window at the photocopy machine room. Tikus said she had closed it before going home last night. The cleaner confirmed it because she came in this morning and smelt something weird in the photocopy room. She went to open the window to clear the air, didn’t notice the pile of shit there. She didn’t want to touch the paper on the floor because Tikus will accuse her of stealing paper from the photocopy room. It’s a good thing she ignored it. Haha!

So now, it left only the main door to our floor. They have cctv in the elevator but they didn’t see anybody suspicious. Nothing in the office was taken either. But the culprit left the lights on in two manager’s room.

I spoke to the cleaner lady just now and she said, she discovered a trail of sand on the carpet from the fire escape door till the photocopy machine room. I guess it must be done by somebody who came from outside office, perhaps. The fire escape door supposed to be closed all the time so now, if it’s open, then, somebody is going to be in deep shit this time.. figuratively speaking.

Then, friends began to share stories. A colleague said that, her Indonesian friend said, they would shit at the site before starting work to ward off evils or accidents. A colleague rebutted the claim and said that there were many people shitting at construction site because there is no toilet around!

Another colleague told me about a case in Klang. There was such a case before where, the house owner found a pile of shit in the house and some traces of the same on the walls. A few days later, the house was ransacked even when there were people in the house! The thief came into the house, totally naked – but nobody saw him and he ran away with their belongings. They only discovered things went missing once the naked man left. He was caught subsequently and that was how the story was told. This surely makes Harry Potter’s invisible cloak looked more appealing!

When I relate the incident to my family during lunch just now, my aunt said that, since there is nothing stolen, the thief would think this is bad luck for breaking in and stealing nothing, so he would shit at the place to ward off bad luck!

A few years ago, there was an amok case in the office. And I thought that was bad enough.. and now this! Anyway, investigation is still ongoing. So, we hope to find out who the culprit is. At the mean time, I am going to back up everything in my hard disk to my thumb drive in case if my CPU goes missing the following week!

Telephone Etiquette

This morning, as I was busy at work, I received a phone call.

Girl: Hello? Can I speak to Mr or Ms …… Clear River? Hee hee

(It is actually annoying that my boss’ name is very unisexual. People always tend to think he’s a female)

Me: Mr.

Girl: Oh… hee hee hee…

Me: What is it regarding please?

Girl: Oh I am calling from ABC company. I have an enquiry. Can I speak to him? Hee hee hee

Me: What enquiry?

Girl: Some enquiry about a project. Hee hee hee

Me: What project?

(At this point, I am already boiling inside. Please get straight to the point! Offer information which would assist me to direct you to the right persons –in-charge! Rather than letting me keep pestering you for more info! And what the fuck with the overdose hee hee hee?? @#$%^&*)

Girl: …… in a very inaudible voice…… heee hee..

Me: What???!!!!! Sorry, I can’t hear you! Please speak up.

Girl: ….. for Johor… Erica* call you……..

*Erica is a colleague in Johor.

Me: @#$%^&* If it’s Johor project, can you please call up our office in Johor. Perhaps they can assist you.

Girl: No no… heee.. heee… heee…


Girl: I have enquiry. Can I speak to your boss?

Me: My boss is not in.

Girl: He’s not in office? When will he be in the office?

Me: Look, if you need to speak regarding a project in Johor, you can call Erica again in Johor!

Girl: No no.. Erica is my office colleague…. Heee hee hee..

Me: CHOW CHI BAI!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Of course I didn’t say that! I wish I could!)

Me: Okay. Take down this number and please call our Johor office. They will be able to assist you. BYE!

First of all, please intro yourself properly and say what project/ matter you want to speak to my boss about. If my boss is not in, I would take down your number, messages you wish to convey and return your call as soon as he’s in the office. If you going to give me hee-hee nonsense like this, I won’t call you back and better yet, I would lead you to round-the-globe chase before I even let you speak to my boss! Even if he’s in the office!

I believe the language I used is crystal clear. If you cannot even understand simple English, I suggest you go back to school and learn how to speak properly before you even pick up the phone. Or better, since you can’t speak so well, and like to giggle so much, I suggest you go into phone sex industry. At least all you do is moan and I hope the excessive giggling helps.

Mr Raba Raba

A friend was complaining to me about a guy she just met. They met via MSN and went out for a date. However, during the first date, the guy walked very close to her and was trying to hold her hands, which she didn’t like. So, she told the guy not to walk too close to her, he sulked. During second date, they went for a swim at the girl’s condo. In the swimming pool, the guy was all gung ho, trying to show her some swimming styles and started to hold her waist and hugging her. She pushed him away and he sulked.

I believe if a girl likes you, she will let you touch her. If she’s squeamish when you touch her, it’s time to back off and recalculate your next move. Don’t assume that if you are touchy feely, the girl is too! Some girls need some time to warm up before you could get physical with her. So, patience is virtue.

There was a guy friend who likes to touch people when he talked. When he was talking to you, he would be touching your arm or your hand. Then he tends to get very animated with his hand gestures. Most of the girls he talked to would suddenly feel defensive and would fold their arms to guard their boobs. What if his octopus hands suddenly landed on our boobs?? LOL!!

Once, he touched my thigh when talking to me. If it’s only to get my attention, perhaps I was aloof when he’s talking and he slapped my thigh, I probably wouldn’t give it much thought. But his hand lingered on my thigh for awhile before he pulled away.

I would stare at his hand on my thigh and got totally lost in my thoughts while waiting for him to move his hand away. I know he was not aware of this, so when I told him that, he was embarrassed and apologized. It was a very bad habit of his and I guess, I am glad at least somebody told him it’s inappropriate to be touching someone, especially from the opposite sex during a conversation without consent!

Then, there was another guy friend who likes to hold hands when talking to me. He would hold my hand on pretext to read my palm for “future” and then, he would continue holding my hand and said my hands were very soft. Geez. Probably that was sexual harassment but I didn’t know because I was too naïve then. Haha. Now, I want to go hold a guy’s hand also, no chance liao. Haha!

These two case scenarios made me think and I came up with this conclusion.

If a guy touches you a lot when he is talking to you, it doesn’t mean that he’s interested in you. So don’t perasan! He might be unaware of his raba-raba habit. Also, if you are a guy and you are interested in the girl, I guess you just need to tell her. Express yourself effectively. Communicate well. Arouse her curiosity to know you more. “If you love her, you gotta tell her”, said Rod Tidwell in Jerry McGuire. If the girl likes you, you don’t even need to use such cheap shots! She would reciprocate accordingly!


Yesterday, I had to sit through a lunch for matchmaking. Before all of you feeling very happy for me, it’s not for me lah! Haha! It’s for my cousin’s cousin brother. Let’s call him Ben. The girl is my sister’s friend – whom I don’t really like because I feel, she’s slightly dim witted. Okay, it’s not fair to call her like this. Just say that, I always have communication breakdown when talking to her. Let’s call her Fish.

We just finished watching Harry Potter and we went to look for the group of my sister, her husband, my other cousin sister and her brother. I suggested going to Kluang Station, because the food is fast and good. Then Fish said, she has bad stomach and doesn’t want to eat anything spicy. So I ask her if she wants Chinese food and suggested Dragon I. My sis said Dragon I is too expensive. Hello? You people are bringing people to matchmaking and not me! You should have decided earlier?!

So, Kluang Station it is. We have finished ordering and Fish had yet to decide on what to eat. So my other cousin brother said, she could order the noodle soup, since it’s the only thing non spicy on the menu. Fish reluctantly agreed. I asked her if she would like to order some coffee or tea, but she said she has digestive problems, so it’s not good to take caffeine. I tried very hard not to roll my eyes.

The lunch went on uneventfully. Fish was sitting next to me and Ben was on the other end of the table. I cursed my sister for not knowing how to arrange seating. They should have let them sit face to face. In the end, my other friend, Cili Padi was sitting opposite Ben! It was damn hilarious because after the lunch, Ben’s sister told me, she likes Cili Padi! Haha! Cili Padi then told me, Fish was looking at her from head to toe and then, toe back to the face and thought she was another candidate for Ben and Fish didn’t look quite happy. Haha!

Actually I didn’t want to join them but then, I didn’t drive, so I had to follow my cousins to the very boring match making lunch! And I dragged Cili Padi into it. Haha! So after lunch, we decided to split and let them get to know each other.

I guess, there are some ground rules when going out to do match making!

1. Keep the group small and intimate. Perhaps only, the intended couple and some close friends. Too many people can be quite intimidating! And defeats all purpose of matchmaking!
2. If both are shy, perhaps can go do some group activities. Arrange for a makan trip to nearby destinations like Ipoh or Tanjung Sepat. Normally when you are doing an activity, the match making session would be less obvious and more fun. You also get to see people’s true character during a short trip.
3. Keep an open mind. Match making doesn’t mean you will definitely marry the guy/ girl! You can be friends also if things don’t work out the way you wanted it to be.
4. Try not to appear fussy during the first meeting. Nobody wants to know about your digestive problems on the first meeting!
5. Remember that, if you have requirements or expectations, the other person is the same too! So, don’t be delusional and think you are some hot stuffs. If you are a hot stuff, you don’t even need help to find a date!