Fake Accent

I cannot tolerate fake accent! Especially, coming from fellow Malaysians. Please lah. I am comfortable using lahs and mahs. It’s not that we are speaking to the King and Queen of England.

I received a call today which irked the shit out of me. Let me run through the conversation again.

Caller: Hi! I am calling from XXX Group. This is our last call to you forPower Training for blah blah blah for global network ….. Now, we offer you USD450 for early bird signing up… blah blah blah blah the original price is USD890….blah blah blah blah….. (I suspect he’s reading from a card in a super annoying, fake English accent)

Me: Excuse me? Who are you looking for?

Caller: He he! You don’t understand what I am saying is it? (*Aduh mah! I no speeeekkk Engrissshhhhh)

Me: No. Maybe you got the wrong person. Who are you looking for actually?

Caller: I want to speak to Mr Clear River’s personal assistant.

Me: Alright, Ms Gina here speaking.

Caller: I am calling from XXX Group. This is our last call to you for Power Training for Personal Assistants.. blah blah blah… global network….. blah blah… Now, we offer you U-S-D450 for early bird signing up… blah blah blah blah the original price is U-S-D890….blah blah blah blah…..now left only 2 more place to sign up.. so if you can sign up now, we give you a discount of U-S-D…. (He stressed U-S-D. It’s actually damn funny!)

Me: Sorry. I am not interested. (Stern)

Caller: But….

Me: NO! (Firm)

Caller: Ok.. bye.

First of all, he never called me before. So, what’s with the “last call”? I never received any e-mails or faxes whatsoever on this course. This is his first and last call. That is why I was confused. Then, why can’t he simply speak normal English? I find his fake English accent too off putting. “You don’t understand what I WAS saying?”– Wah, this is too much lah. Insulting me no speaking Engrisssh is it???Your grammar suck BIG TIME ok!And I wonder how on earth he got my boss’ name right?Must be those people looking up directory and calling for who-and-whose secretary.Anyway, end of rant. I saja cannot tahan those fake accent.

4 thoughts on “Fake Accent

  1. u should’ve retorted: “oh, this is your last call to me, right? thank GAWD (make sure to emphasis GOD) for that! please make sure you keep your promise, ya! toodles! *slams down the phone*” – the toodles bit is to match his fake accent lah, which i dun think he’ll understand anyway, due to his powderful engrish!😀

  2. Ahahaha… I think he meant ‘last call’ to mean the deadline for the early bird special has ended just like the last call for happy hour drinks…..😀

  3. Sue: Actually, I almost speak to him in mainland Mandarin and pretend didn’t know what the heck he’s saying. Hahahhaha! That would be fun! Or belt out in old Shanghainese song… LOL!

    Shorthorse: Yes, I know what last call he meant. But like drinks – you also need a few rounds of drinks before the last call right? Hahahaha! Same applies here!

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