I had a chat with a friend recently on relationships and commitments. After a bitter divorce, he was adamant on not remarrying. Marriage is work, I told him. It is not always a stroll in the park, smelling roses. Everyone who enters into a relationship must be fully aware of what they are getting into. After all, there is nothing certain in life except constant changes. He or she might love you now and in another 10 more years, if you are lucky. But what comes next, nobody has a clue.
Being older now, I guess I am much more wary of what reality is. When I was younger, I always look for the perfect love. Someone to love and love you in return. Perhaps, a few years down the road, we will get married, raise a normal family, bicker a little and having children and live till we are old and grey like what our still married parents are doing the past 30-50 years. Somehow, as the years progresses, you will see cracks and pieces falling apart from this institution called marriage.
I have many friends who confided in me relating to their marriage problems. One guy asked me for advice about his wife who liked clubbing a little too often. He is in his 30s and she’s in her early 20s. He’s very tired of nagging her and they always got into fights because of this. I told him to give her space. Afterall, he’s been there and done that. He should let her have some fun but advised her to remember she is now a married woman and should also consider the feelings of her husband. True enough, after 6 months of senseless clubbing and partying, she has grown tired of it and stays home ever since. This is what happen when you got into a relationship with a huge gap in age. People mature at different stages in the life. Sometimes, the older you get, it is not necessary that you have matured. The more we apply "iron fist" tactic on how our spouses should behave, the more rebellious one would get. Come on.. we all had been rebellious teens and young adults before, we should know! Haha! As long as the person truly understands his/her limits, I guess it’s still ok. He still complains about her occasionally though, mostly because now, his wife likes branded things too much and it costs him his entire month salary just to buy a handbag. I told him, if he had married me at the first place, he wouldn’t have this problem. That shut him up real good. Haha!
I think I’ve heard enough stories of my friends’ failed marriages that they made me cringed. I salute people who took the plunge into marriage and people who actually bothered to even have children! Well, it’s not that I am against marriages of any kind (same sex or otherwise), it’s good to have someone to go back to after a long day of work. Someone to volley ideas back and forth to keep your mind articulate or someone just to watch movie with, lying lazily on the couch munching away potato chips. I know marriage consists of more of that, involves plenty of sacrifices and a lot of heartbreaks. I don’t think my heart is made strong enough to withstand too many heartaches. For the time being, I share the burden of my friends’, which are more than enough for me to call life experiences.