Perhaps Love

I received a good news yesterday night from a long lost friend that she is getting married. She will register in Sydney this December and will be arranging for a church wedding and Chinese customary reception in Malaysia next year. When I read the sms, I almost couldn’t believe it. This friend, after so many years of tumultuous relationships (Yes.. with an “s”), finally came to her senses and got hitched.

She, being indecisive and probably thinking too much all the time, was still in doubts about this marriage a few months ago, when the man popped the question. It’s not that, she met this man out of the blue. She knew him way back in 1995 when they were working at a hotel in Singapore! They were together rather briefly but it was still impressionable. Subsequently throughout the years, they were out of touch and again, kept in touch. It was sort of a fleeting moment thing. He popped up occasionally in every segments of 17 years of their lives! Finally, came Facebook. He looked for her in Facebook and was delighted to have found her again. That set them talking again and, like they say, the rest is history.

She is still in doubt if the relationship is too fast. I told her, it’s not fast. They have known each other for 17 years, although intermittently. I believe our paths are crossed not because we plan for them to cross. Just that, fate has brought the two together and it’s good that, love resulted for both of them. It’s no coincidence. They are just meant to be together. Accept it! Embrace it with an open heart and good intentions! She said, indeed. Within the past few months, after many chats, she found herself more calm and in love. As she was completing her application for a spouse visa, she realized that, their paths had intertwined so many times over the years and she just didn’t see him!

She is already in her late 30s and myself, mid 30s (haha!). It’s getting more and more difficult to find someone. With that being said, it doesn’t mean we should settle for anything less. At the same time, we also shouldn’t be having unrealistic expectations for our partners. I believe that, since we are already mature mentally and emotionally, I hope things would be more smooth sailing for us as we do not have anymore time to be frivolous and silly.

She asked how about myself? Am I looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. I got a little frustrated and told her, I am not sure. I told her about my meeting with another friend last week, and both of us agree that, it would be nice to have someone to accompany us as we grow older. I told her about my colleagues, who are in their 50s and 60s. I met their wives and husbands during the recent cruise trip and they were all very loving. They will hold each others’ hands irregardless of age and would sometimes, talk softly to each others’ ears and giggled, as if they were in their honeymoon phase. I truly admire that and secretly envious of such relationships. I guess that’s what they meant by growing old together gracefully.

Her marriage somehow set me thinking. Sometimes, the person we meant to spend the rest of our lives with, is already right in front of us and yet, we kept looking elsewhere, dismissing the possibility of us being together. Only after so many years, we found each other again and realize, how much time has been wasted because we were all too busy to be in search of our ideals. Learn to appreciate the people surrounding us and if you look carefully enough, the gem has always been there. So friends, look no further. For singles out there, I hope you find your other halves soon. Cheers! And have a good long weekend!

11 thoughts on “Perhaps Love

  1. My dearest Gina…. You are a lovely person with a big HEART …. Some day, be it sooner or later, someone will recognize it and your dreams will come true…. Que sera sera and please that we will be here for you even in our golden age….. reading your blog with long sighted glasses…..🙂

  2. i particularly agree with you about this: “It’s getting more and more difficult to find someone. With that being said, it doesn’t mean we should settle for anything less. At the same time, we also shouldn’t be having unrealistic expectations for our partners.” really very much agree with you. recently, i saw an episode of a Jiangsu TV programme (fei cheng wu rao). one of the hosts (i think she is a psychiatrist) said that the common understanding is that older people “settle for less” in a partner, and she disagreed with it. instead, she believes that as people mature, they become more able to accept others and understanding what qualities are really important to insist on in a partner, and they are also better able to communicate and get along in relationships.

    • Oh! You watch “Fei chen we rao” also?? Haha! Yes, we have been watching this series almost every weekend. It’s true what they say. Thanks for sharing. I don’t really understand Mandarin spoken by China Chinese because of the accent! And sometimes the translation can be hopeless!

      • ah! You watch it too?!! I like it! I have problems fully understanding the Mandarin too, and completely don’t understand some of them. Fortunately, I usually understand the host Meng Fei, and the two lao shi.😉

        • Yes.. I think most of us watch it here in KL. Even when I was in Sipadan, I overheard other snorkeling mates talking about it! They are from Singapore and China.. the China guests told us that, some of the couples are fake ones. Meaning, they are real bf+gf in real life and they pretend to choose each other in order to get the Hawaii trip! Haha! From their own words lah.

  3. wow… it’s really heartwarming to hear of such stories. ur friend and her future hubby is like the story in “turn left, turn right”, where the 2 main characters were living right next to each other but kept missing each other by a split second!

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