Fart Master

I find as one ages, it’s getting more and more difficult NOT to fart indiscriminately in public! Am still stuck in office now and I think my boss has the tendency of farting all the time but he tried holding it in I supposed. Most of the time, I would pretend I never hear when he farted while talking to me. Just keep a straight face. And am getting good at that. Or when I hear him fart, I would stay out of his room for a good 10 minutes before going in.

As for me now, I think my fart is also getting out of control. Whenever I am home, I would just release gas lah coz nobody is going to mind at home, as most of us are fartarts. LOL! Everybody farts LOUDLY in my household. I think it’s genetic. Luckily most of our farts are not smelly, coz we seldom release those “strong and silent type”. Those are indeed, smelly!

So just now, I was feeling slightly bloatish. Suddenly, I felt a fart coming.. and I am in office now. I couldn’t be farting in front of my boss! So, I withheld my fart.. quickly walked to the toilet, more like scurrying. I had to walk past the COO’s room, then the new contract guy sitting diagonally opposite me… and walked like a penguin… I MUST HOLD IN THE FART! PLEASE! Especially not in front of the contract guy! What the heck with people staying up so late in office??!!

As soon as I got into the toilet, I still had to make sure nobody was around. No one’s in the toilet! So, I tried to let go.. but I could basically feel the BIG fart seeped back into my anus! Wah lao. Geez! Will I be getting a toxic butt! I don’t want an ass full of toxin so I waited for awhile for the fart to come.. Aih… fartless…even after 5 minutes… So I walked back to my cubicle and wrote down this nonsense. Haha.

Well, hope you guys have a good weekend ahead!

6 thoughts on “Fart Master

  1. Ahahahahahahahaahah! This reminds me of a piano class I was having back when I was a KID and I was deep in concentration playing this classical tune for my piano teacher to listen to….. And then I realized from the corner of my eye she lifted her butt slightly and next thing I know, POOOOOOOOOOOT …. Now juggling piano playing and laughter containment is no easy fete I assure you! To make this worse, she actually said… ‘excuse me’… Gosh, the super human effort it took to contain myself!

    • Hahah! Eh, now you remind me of my previous Piano teacher too! Her farts were really smelly! Everytime she farted, she said sorry.. but we never find it amusing.. coz it stinks big time!! Haha!

  2. hahaha, same like my household! It’s human to fart mah! anyway, my baby’s farts also super smelly, so I have concluded that it is his self protection weapon at such a tender age. My hubby thinks its my breast milk contributing to it thou…LOL!

  3. It’s all about valve control if you think about it. Ask anyone in my family and they will tell you i’m really good at it. Steph makes me say, “I love you” everytime i let one go in front of her.

    And here’s the thing…you know you are really comfortable with someone if you can fart in front of them. Hahahaha!

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