When I was little, I was already a worry wart. I worried about school, exams and what is going to happen to me and siblings if my parents were gone, especially my mom. I worry that my mom would stop breathing in the middle of the night and would not wake up the next day. Sometimes at night, I would put my index finger in front of her nostrils to check if she’s still breathing. Or just glanced over to the chest and stomach to see if they were moving up and down.
When my cousin sisters and brother were born, I would check their baby cots every 5 minutes to see if they are alive. I would do the same thing, putting my finger across their noses to check or watched their small chests moving up and down. Yes.. I was that obsessive!
When I was in college, I loathed studying. I totally hate exams and I especially hated it when I had to turn friends down from going on trips or partying because I had to study. I was that serious. Have to get exams or things over with, then only I could go partying. By the time I passed my professional exams, most of my college friends had gone their own ways.
When I started working, I enjoy it so much that I wish I started working earlier. No more exams.. no more text books… no more worries.. so I think. I have to say, I think I am quite suited for working because by the time I finished work and used up my brain juice, I would be just too tired to even think of anything at night. My days of insomnia were over. Thank God!
Then real life happened. Oh boy. Nothing would prepare anyone for this thing called life. I would like to think my life is generally fine, it could be better? Nevertheless, I am very grateful that I have been blessed with a solid family and friends’ support, a roof over my head, a generally healthy social life – even though I think I am slowly moving towards becoming a reclusive hermit.
We’ve been through family tragedies – death, sickness, imprisonment, birth defects, surgeries and some other things that I couldn’t even mention here but, we somehow managed to come out from all these shit triumphant.. earning life battle scars and added another feather to our caps!
I would like to urge my friends who are suffering from life turbulence to hang on, gear up! Get your guns and grenades ready for life battle. We must do our best to fight for the things we believe in, to fight for the life we wanted, and fight till our very last breath.
If things are getting too unbearable or getting out of hand, we must always remember that we have choices. It’s never easy to make a call but, no matter what our decisions maybe – whether or not we may or may not regret it later, at least we do something about it.. rather than just sitting there, with both arms folded and just watch things falling apart. It’s better to cut losses earlier than to lose everything in the end.
Every life is worth fighting for. Don’t just give up. And comrades, I got your back.