25th October 2010
A night in Paris
Today was our last day in Paris, so we tried to make the most of it. The night before, the shopping kakis had been talking non stop about going for another round of shopping which disgusted most of us. In fact, the shopping kakis only consists of 4 people generally – the china woman (LV got discount ah?), her sakai husband (Mr VAT – stories later!), one loud mouthed aunty who thinks she’s very sexy and the group leader – who is supposed to be in charge to make everybody happy but of course, failed miserably because she just wanted to shop for herself.
So, there are like 22 others who are NOT interested in shopping. And yet, the tour guide – useless and moronic again since the boss left on second day, preferred to cater to these 4 morons because he himself wanted to shop! He has been buying branded bags and bringing them home and sell them for a profit! Paris should bar such people from making their brands so easily available and hence affecting their prestige!
One of the tour mates bought a “faulty” branded bag. Can you believe it? Faulty? I didn’t know how “faulty” the bag is but she merely mentioned that the bottom of the bag already given way due to imperfect stitching. Sometimes, I wonder how could a prestigious brand like you-know-which-one could even pass quality control, selling a damaged bag?! So, she couldn’t sleep for two nights – because she bought it from La Fayette on Saturday and it’s not open on a Sunday. So she had to wait till Monday to get it replaced at the branch at Champs Elysees. We had to suffer for 2 mornings listening to her endless rattling of complaints, having to spend Rm5k for a damaged good and she wanted to SUE the company! I guess the problem was actually her for not checking the bag properly before leaving the shop!
The tour guide conveniently blamed the terrible jam and told the bus driver to go to Champs Elysees to shop instead of going to Sacred Heart Cathedral in Montmartre. Of course, we were really pissed! Anyway, we decided to make the most of it by walking away from Champs Elysees to River Seine and snap photos of the beautiful bridges. We walked past a Museum which was having the Impressionist exhibition. We had a good time watching the workers moving paintings of Monet’s to the museum while visitors lining up to secure tickets to get in!
We were on time to go back to the meeting point by 11 am, but as expected, people were late. Yes, you are right – the 4 people plus the tour guide were late! The tour guide only came 30 minutes later and pretended to be angry with those who were late. In fact, he didn’t really tell people where to wait and assumed everyone to know. So, there had been confusion and everyone was waiting all over the place. The bus driver was already pissed off because he was not supposed to park by the roadside! We had to get into the bus as soon as possible to avoid being fined. Then, the 4 idiots and some hapless elderly lady following them were late. We waited almost an hour for them – the hapless elderly lady was asked to follow them so that they could buy more handbags with their passports!
While waiting for those idiots to come, the lady who got her bag exchanged was cursing rudely and said, the branded boutique didn’t want to sell them anymore bags! The moment they got into the shop, the shop assistants already spoke to each other in French and said, do not sell to them because they had been to the shop on the first day itself and they remembered their sakai faces! Of coz the aunty doesn’t speak French lah. The tour guide followed them overheard the sale people saying that!
Also, who ask you to dress sloppily in Paris?? This lady wore a worn out polo shirt with a logo behind the neck – which I mistaken for ugly markings from temples, you know, usually found on shirts for safety. It’s a very hokkien thing lah. Haha! Don’t dress sloppily or like aunty going to the wet market when you are in Paris! Nobody will take you seriously! She ended exchanging the damaged bag for another model which cost her a few hundred euros more. So she was very unhappy!
Then, some of them mentioned that, when they asked the China woman, why is she buying so many LVs? The China woman replied that, she’s going to use it when she goes marketing! How obnoxious! Make all of us sick! I bet she’s making money out from the bags she bought. She just doesn’t have the look to wear the bags! The bags will wear her!
The driver had to make one big u turn to go fetch the morons in front of the LV boutique. When the driver was approaching – there they were, STILL snapping photos and posing in front of the boutique! The driver cursed in Slovakian – he’s a Slovakian. He doesn’t understand a word of French and understands limited English. So, you imagine the ruckus. Haha! We rolled our eyes when the sakais came up to the bus. The tour guide pretended to be angry and said that since we were late, we had to cut our visit to the Sacred Heart Cathedral short. This of course, made us feel very combustible (hou heng ah!)!
French are very fussy when it comes to dining
We proceeded to a quick lunch and then, made our way to Lourve Museum. We only had almost 2 hours to ourselves to go around the Museum. If only the fucking idiots were not late, we probably would have more time! We didn’t want to waste any more time and just go for those must-sees in the museum.
This is the closest I could get to Monalisa
We went straight to look for Monalisa before it’s being overcrowded with PRC people. There were a few groups of PRC people behind us, so I suggested that we wasted no time to go see Monalisa first before all these people ferociously snapped the painting with the flash lights, even though it was clearly written not to use flash in the area! They should have banned camera altogether! I was thinking, probably the Monalisa is not even real! Who could authenticate it, since the painting is behind bullet proof glass and we were standing far away to admire it? Imagine having thousands of flash light on it every damn day! I guess Monalisa just surpassed the late Lady Diana for being the most photographed woman of all times, albeit posthumously! I remember there’s even some rumours saying, Monalisa is actually Leonardo da Vincci’s female version of himself.
After Lourve Museum, we finally get the chance to go to Montmartre to visit Sacred Heart. Then, the stupid tour guide had to tell us his personal preferences – “Honestly, I am not very keen in coming here. Look at the people here! They are so poor and the place is so run down. I never liked it here!”
Then the Mr VAT guy had to add – “Since we are running out of time, we can just skip going to the church and head straight to dinner, then airport. But then, there are some people who just have to go to the church….”
Bloody fuckers! First of all, we don’t need your opinion on Montmartre! My pilot friend personally likes the place as he said buzzing with activities and life! We were there and find the place rather charming with its own character which is unlike the pretentious Champs Elysees! The souvenirs here are real cheap too. The way to the Sacred Heart Cathedral is paved with cobble stones – it’s actually a very old part of Paris which deserved a second look!
Mr VAT should shut the FUCK UP because of him and his sakai wife, we had to cut short visits to the museum and also the cathedral! He has NO FUCKING RIGHT to even speak! Speaking of them really make me fucking tulan!
The tour guide didn’t even have the decency to wait on one elderly aunty who has problem walking. She forgot to bring down her umbrella which also she used as a walking stick. I waited for her and told her not to rush when going up the cobble stones road because it’s not easy to walk on them.
The idiot tour guide was too busy kissing asses of the shopping sakais (of coz for commission lah, what else!) and hurried everyone to line up to take a group photo. We didn’t even give a shit when Mr VAT gestured us to join them to take a group photo. The four of us just walked away, ignoring them! Act of defiance for their selfishness!! If I had it my way, I would show them the middle finger!
Grandeur Sacred Heart at Mortmartre
The shopping sakais all went to buy wine – needless to say, the tour guide was earning commission from them because, he told us to specifically don’t be late when he himself was late for 15 minutes! Definitely counting his money for the amount of wine they purchased! These idiots didn’t even buy a single bottle of champagne when they were at GH Mumm and opt to buy cheaper wines! So we know what their taste is like!
As we walked towards the bus, we saw an elderly couple in our tour group with big shopping bags. So my friend and I went to help them carry their shopping bags. They asked us to wait for them in front of the restaurant as they wanted to go to the bathroom. Not even half minute, they were out. I asked them, “Wah so fast?” To this, the uncle replied, “Have to pay 50 cents ah! Expensive!” Then, went on to look for free public toilet. It’s understandable…. this uncle bought a RM30,000 Rolex at La Fayette, no more money to go to toilet! Hahaha! I insisted on helping them to carry their shopping bags to the bus while letting both of them running around to look for toilet. It was really funny.
After a hurried Thai dinner, we were on our way to the airport. Paris was almost grid locked due to Monday jams! As we were stuck in the horrendous jam, Mr VAT decided to chit chat with the tour guide on top of his voice.
“We buy things, we get to claim VAT. So does the local (French) get to claim VAT also ah???”
Aiyoh I tell you… really sua pah kao! (Jungle monkey!). Nobody will know he’s katak di bawah tempurung if he doesn’t open his mouth. We would simply leave him as someone who is so conceited and tried to please his wife with endless amount of shopping!
On the journey, we also overheard he was grumbling because there were no more space in their luggage. You should see how the two sakais packed and unpacked their luggage bags at the airport! It’s damn funny! I wished I had recorded them and put the video on youtube!
When the jam didn’t seem to ease, his wife said, “Oh, that’s great! We can stay in Paris for another night!”
To which, he replied disgruntledly, “Who is going to fork the bill?”
Then his wife sulked.
From there we know that, they spent money beyond their means. I surely hope that they would suffer towards month end and when the credit card bills arrived at their door step!
All in all, generally, it was quite a good trip, despite all the odds. We somehow get to see the better sides of Paris, despite being “warned” that it’s not a safe place!
One piece of advice though, when you are walking down the pavement, please do watch out. There are some dog poo everywhere! So, you don’t wanna step on dog shit especially when you are on holiday, do ya? Haha!